12 Weeks: Transitions To Two

3 months in!! The more people that know, the more fun this whole process is. And sharing ultrasound photos already gives me a sense of mothering pride : )

12 weeks (1)

I really think my uterus has started to grow up, pushing everything else out.

12 weeks (2)

My stomach is no longer easy to suck in, although I can still do it, it just takes a lot more strength than it used to. I’m starting to get a more permanent pooch that people can see on the outside of my shirt.

Regular —- Sucking in

12 weeks (5) 12 weeks sucking in

Yesterday I felt that my stomach grew an inch between morning and night! I wore a regular pair of jeans (big ones!) for the last time and put my maternity jeans on that evening with the thought: that’s probably the end of regular pants for me. As much as I do want to start showing, I’m also a little embarrassed of my stomach at this time. I’m definitely in that “I ate too many donuts Savannah bars” stage rather than “I’m pregnant.”

Hunger Games

I’m also feeling bigger all over though, and that’s a sign of weight gain more than just uterus gain. I know this is normal and something many women struggle with during the end of the first trimester, but it’s still something I was hoping would happen later in my pregnancy. What’s different is that before I was pregnant, I could ignore a little mild hunger at times or tell myself I didn’t need that extra portion or dessert. Now it feels wrong to deny myself food even if I’m just a tiny bit hungry. If I’m hungry, the baby must be, and denying hunger isn’t healthy.

So many have said you have to trust your body, and that means more than just trusting that it’s fueling well. It might be telling you it wants to gain way more than the recommended pounds for whatever reason, and while 25 pounds is still the recommendation, sometimes 25 x 2 just happens and everything is still fine [thanks to those of you who have shared that tidbit!] I’m an all-or-nothing type, and I know after the baby is born and I’ve had time to heal and adjust, I’ll get in the weight loss groove eventually.

But regardless of the whole “listen to your body” thing, I have had several nights this week while visiting my family where I just ate waaaaay too much for no reason to do with pregnancy. And that’s probably why I’m just feeling bigger.

IMG_6382 (590x393) IMG_6355

On the topic of food, I’ve definitely felt a bit more normal about my meals this week. Several salads have made appearances and I’m no longer in that “All I want is cheese, ice cream and carbs” stage. I wouldn’t say salads are back on my favorites list, but they’re getting eaten normally here and there. I have a feeling in a week or two I’ll be back to my old eating habits 100 95%.

IMG_6395 (590x393)


Whether or not the second trimester starts at 13 or 14 weeks, I definitely feel like hitting 12 weeks was a big milestone – partly because the risk for miscarriage decreases significantly and also because it’s when the baby begins to grow.

In the beginning, miscarriage was on my mind a lot. Weeks 6-8 felt fragile. Anyone who has been pregnant before can probably relate to the slight bit of fear that came every time I went to the bathroom – would I find blood? I feel extremely lucky that I only had a tiny bit of brown spotting and didn’t have to go through the alarm that red blood can cause. While I have read that bleeding is normal and occurs in 30% of all pregnancies, I’ve also read that even though it can go away, it puts doctors on alert. And that is enough to cause major nervousness. I can’t even imagine going through the pain and emotions that so many women have who have lost babies.

After seeing the heartbeat on ultrasound at 7.5 weeks, I relaxed a little. During week 8, I started to feel better emotionally. I hear week 8 is a bit of a turning point and miscarriage risk goes down a bit. But really it wasn’t until this week that I thought: there’s a really, really good chance I’m going to have this baby.

Up Next: 12 Weeks: Meds + Beds


4 weeks

5 weeks

6 weeks

7 weeks

8 weeks

9 weeks

10 weeks

11 weeks

55 thoughts on “12 Weeks: Transitions To Two”

  1. This might be a little off-topic but you made me think of my pregnancy. I had suffered from eating disorders for years before getting pregnant, so when I got pregnant I realized food was fuel not just something that was making me fat. I still had moments of not loving my pregnant body, of course. However, looking back I sometimes miss being pregnant and eating without any guilt. You’re still a very healthy person and you shouldn’t feel bad about indulging now. I like the 80/20 rule but especially for pregnancy. 80 percent healthy foods, 20 percent cravings? Win-win!

    1. Yup! I would just say be careful about always “listening to your body” if that means eating a lot of desserts and junk. But, that’s something you can discuss with your doctor. I know my friends who gained 50-60 lb. had very uncomfortable (but healthy) pregnancies.

  2. With each of my pregnancies, I breathed a sigh of relief with every passing week that baby was closer to being safe. It is a whole new level of comforting feeling once you hit viability (24ish weeks? something like that). Granted something awful could still happen and if baby was born that soon it would be a very long, scary, road, but I hope you know what I mean.
    I also hated the “I just look heavy” stage instead of the “I look pregnant!” stage.
    Your plates of food in this post are making me drool.
    With each pregnancy, I always had the “I am so hungry that if I dont eat right.now. I feel nauseous.” I always carried trail mix or something else very portable with me.

  3. I don’t know if the worry ever really goes away!!! I also felt much, much better once we hit week 12, but I still get a little paranoid if more than a few hours pass by without feeling her move/roll around. I’m sort of a statistics person and I read that the chance of miscarriage goes down to around 1% during the later stages of pregnancy, so I’ve been telling myself I have a 99% chance of having this little girl! But here lately I’ve started to worry more about whether she will be healthy and reach all her milestones, etc.

    Now looking back over the course of my pregnancy, I can say that I am VERY glad that I ‘allowed’ myself the freedom to eat at will. It was very…. ‘liberating’ to NOT worry about what I was eating or whether or not I was gaining weight etc. I still get a little embarrassed when people see me eating ice cream at work (mostly because people always seem to want to remind me that I am the dietitian and they ‘didn’t know dietitians ate ice cream’. So annoying! I’ve gained between 25-26 pounds with 5 weeks to go, and I plan to enjoy these last 5 weeks of eating when hungry and the occasional, errrr frequent small serving of ice cream 🙂

    1. I agree, the worry doesn’t really ever go away. Even when I was in the last weeks of my pregnancy, I worried…not about miscarriage at that point, but about umbilical cord knots or strangulation. Then, after he was born, I fretted about SIDS and then torticollis & plagiocephaly and then whether he was going to get cavities in his four little baby teeth if I nursed him to sleep and didn’t brush his teeth. It’s always something!

  4. Reading this is like listening to myself! I felt the EXACT same way about my weight in the first 12 weeks. I felt like I was getting bigger everywhere and I knew it wasn’t “baby” yet. Like you said, when it was just me I could push through a little hunger and eat smaller meals and work out hard but I felt because I was pregnant I neeeeded to eat at that moment and of course the choices I was making in foods were not my normal self.
    I lost 60 lbs 3 years ago using diet and exercise and have kept it all off…until now lol so it’s a little hard seeing it come back on but I also want to enjoy the pregnancy and not stress. I know that, like you, once I adjust to having a baby and get healed up I will be so ready to start exercising harder again and losing the weight so I’m not letting myself worry about it now. I had gained 14lbs by 14 weeks… a mixture of not exercising like I used to, eating too many carbs and just too much food in general. My doctor told me he wasn’t worried about me at all and it would all even out. Made me feel better! I’m too excited to be pregnant to let gaining weight ruin it for me or get me down. I actually dealt with infertility and it took me almost 5 years to get pregnant!! I’m just so glad at 16 weeks now, my eating is pretty much back to normal besides the odd weird craving and I’m still hungry a little more often but nothing like the 1st trimester. Whatever I do end up gaining, as long as I have a healthy baby it will be all worth it and I’ll work on it after 🙂
    Sorry for the huge note haha I just feel like our pregnancies are so similar, it’s nice to know someone else is going through the exact same thing!

  5. I felt the same exact way every time I went to the bathroom early in the first trimester.
    And unfortunately the “I don’t look pregnant, I look like I ate too many donuts” stage lasted until about week 16 for me…
    You definitely look a tiny bit rounder than your earlier posts!

      1. ha! I am having a boy, and yesterday a stranger asked me if I was having twins. I nearly decked HIM (of course it was a man). I have only had a stranger comment on my belly twice in this pregnancy, and both times it was a man.

      2. I heard that gaining weight all over = girl
        Gaining weight in mostly just your belly = boy.

        But they really are just old wives tales. 🙂

  6. Recommended weight gain is 25-35…not just 25 across the board. Because that’s a range, plenty of healthy babies are born to mamas who gain a little less or a good amount more. Everyone is different!

  7. Stop worrying about your weight! You are perfect. I have 4 kids for the first pregnancy I ate a ton! I gained 35 lbs. With my second, I closely monitored what I ate, and restricted myself on sweets and non-healthy treats. Guess what I gained: 35 lbs!! With my last two, I just ate what I wanted and tried to let go of the worry. I gained 35 lbs! Your body knows what it needs.

  8. Weight gain is so varied during pregnancy. I didn’t get that “bigger all-over” feeling until weeks 20-24 of my pregnancy. It was pretty slight, and I know no one but me noticed it. Also, at my prenatal meeting with my lactation consultant, she said that part of the bodies preparation for feeding our babies is to store excess fat in our hips and thighs, since breastfeeding requires so much energy once the baby is born.
    I know for me, I only had that one month where I felt like my hips/thighs/butt got bigger, it’s just different for everyone.
    My motto is this: I will happily gain 100 pounds if that is what it takes for me to have a healthy thriving baby, as long as I was gaining it while making healthy food choices and moderately exercising. I will not be impressed with myself, if I gain 100 pounds because I didn’t make the right food choices.

  9. I definitely struggle with how I “should” be eating and the whole weight gain thing. I realize that different things work for different people, but the best advice I received was to cut back on the carbs (even whole grains). It seemed counterintuitive because the whole grains, low fat conventional diet wisdom was so deeply ingrained (ha) in me. Obviously it’s more than ok for a pregnant lady to indulge her cravings, but focusing on quality proteins, veggies, and fats as the foundation of my diet changed my perspective on eating and nutrition through pregnancy. I really enjoyed the book “Real Food for Mother and Baby” by Nina Planck. Some of her views are a little extreme but the overall message was a bit of an a-ha moment for me. I definitely empathize with what you’ve said today!

    1. Fats do make me very satisfied. I had a good amount in yesterday’s lunch (avocado, cheese, coconut butter) and was full for hours!

  10. I wouldn’t concentrate on any weight gain. Just be mindful about what you eat. As I’m typing this I’m thinking “I know she’s already got that mindset” but it’s nice to be reminded that gaining weight is totally ok! I love both of your blogs but I’m really loving this one because I have two kids 🙂

  11. Thank you for your honesty in all of your berf posts! I have to say at 27 weeks I’m learning to love my belly. I remember feeling just full and sort of chubby early on and I would be lying if I said I didn’t love the way I looked.. but once I got to about the 20 week mark and started looking more pregnant, my confidence increased ten fold! Right now I love being pregnant. Getting sweet smiles from strangers is the best 🙂 You look great! Keep growing that healthy baby!

  12. I gained about the same with both of my children. My son was taller and weighed less than his sister (less than a lb. difference-minor). He was 2 weeks early and she 2 weeks late. If you ask me, it’s a crap shoot. Flipping a coin may be more accurate. So glad to seeing you enjoying this happy time in your life.

  13. I think you have pretty stellar eating habits no matter what. I agree with Christine — well that’s what friends have told me anyway. That your body has a sort of set point it’s going to put on with each pregnancy, and a cupcake or a bagel every now and then is not likely to really impact that all that much. That said, I think the reason so many actresses put on 50, 60 pounds of baby weight is that they are so underweight to begin with and their day-to-day diets are so restrictive that things go a little haywire. Makes me kind of sad thinking how hungry they must be in their everyday lives…

  14. This is not baby-related, but I had to comment… Holy cow that Mexican food looks good!! I don’t even like Mexican all that much, but now I am seriously craving a quesadilla! And those beans! with cheese!! ahhh!!!

  15. I am so glad you posted a bit about the “worrying”. I am just a bit over 4 wks and I feel like I can’t even let myself get too excited right now because the risk of MC is so high. Like you, I found out at 10 DPO (my period isn’t even due for another few days!), and every time I go to the bathroom, I am worried! I have taken 3 consecutive days of pregnancy tests and the line gets darker, so I am hoping that is a good sign.

    How did you let yourself get excited? Were you worried about telling family at 4 weeks before your trip? Also, how much web reading did you do? I find that all the websites I go on make me kind of paranoid, but I also cannot walk away from the computer! 😉

    Thanks, kath!

    1. I just told them there was a chance… About 15-20% based on my age at that time. I think you just have to think positive thoughts

  16. I will be 31 weeks on Saturday, and I have already gained 25 pounds. At my most recent doctor appointment last week the nurse said, “Are you aware you gained ten pounds in one month?” I was like WHAAAAT! Haha. And what’s funny is that I totally don’t feel like I did – it felt normal. I am eating healthy and not going crazy with my cravings and I walk everyday, so I feel like I am spot on. It’s just such a weird frame of mind to get used to. (healthy)Weight gain=good. I had some maternity photos taken & the photographer would say things like, “Lean this way, your stomach will look bigger.” Not something you normally want to hear when you are being photographed!

    A friend of my mom’s told me that you WANT weight on you for when you give birth and then start breastfeeding. It helps your body handle the stress of it all. More cushion for the pushin’? Haha. That baby is growing. Eat up!

  17. Yay! I always feel that 12 weeks is a turning point because it’s pretty much the beginning on the end of the first trimester.

    You look great! I hope you are getting plenty of veggies now that you can eat them! So important and SO tasty. hehe

  18. Yep, I agree with the majority here. Your body knows what it needs. I had three successful full-term babies and, WITH EACH ONE, gained about 8 pounds from month three to month four. The first time, I all but got yelled at! The second time, scolded. The third time, it was ignored completely! So, there you have it. Your body will do what it wants! Just be good to yourself along the way! (Oh, and don’t have a monster baby, please. With my boys, the first was a little beyond the due date and was an ounce shy of 10 pounds. The last was 13 days BEFORE his due date and was an ounce and a half OVER 10 pounds! And, yes, the due dates were correct…!!! Their sister was 11 days ahead of schedule and was only 8 lbs. 2 oz…..so, yeah, save yourself the C-section potential and don’t go to extremes!) Be happy and have a happy baby!!!!! P.S. – your Oatmeal Bars – the no-sugar-added ones – are one of my go-to carb craving grabs now! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

  19. Trusting your body to just do its thing can be hard regardless of your health perspective and background. I am SO thankful that I am recovered from my eating disorder prior to pregnancy (although I know I will always need to be on my guard – throughout life). When I was sick I would ignore signs of hunger and only eat at “Meal times.” Now when hungry I think both of myself AND the baby AND that honoring both is SO important. You look beautiful!

  20. You look sooooooooooo adorably pregnant already! I love how much your baby is showing!!! You are glowing in the face and in your adorably round baby belly@@!!

  21. Don’t worry about your weight! I worried a lot about it at the beginning too because I went from having a really healthy and happy relationship with food – I ate when I was hungry, stopped when I was full, ate a lot of healthy foods, but still had treats whenever I wanted them and easily maintained my weight to feeling like crap, not ever getting hungry, but still needing to eat because it was the only thing that helped my nausea and I couldn’t really stomach any healthy foods. So I ate anything and everything that sounded at all appetizing and it rarely was anything healthy. I was nervous I was going to gain a ton of weight and I also felt guilty that I wasn’t eating well for the baby, but the nausea and food aversions are powerful! The nausea pretty much went away at 12 weeks, but the food aversions lasted until almost 20 weeks. After that point I have slowly gotten back to eating normally. I definitely eat more than I did pre-pregnancy, but I have learned to trust my body again. I gained 5 pounds in the first tri, was up 10 pounds at 20 weeks and now at 28 weeks I have gained about 16 or 17 pounds. I think I will gain about 30 pounds or so total and will be extremely happy with that. I think you are doing a great job so far. You will probably feel better about your weight once you really start showing. By the way, I didn’t really look pregnant until after 22 weeks! I thought for sure I would start showing early because I’m only 5’4″, but I was wrong!

  22. Kath,
    Thanks so much for your weekly insights on your pregnancy. My husband and I don’t have children yet (and aren’t currently trying). We both definitely want kids, but I am sorry to admit this, I’m apprehensive about pregnancy because of the weight changes. I recognize that is crazy, and I’m assuming that one day my desire to have a child is going to outweigh (no pun intended!) my fear of gaining weight. Thanks for being honest with us on the blog. As a hopeful one-day mother-to-be, I really appreciate your thoughts.

    1. Kate,
      I feel your same apprehension about pregnancy weight gain…actually never said it outloud before this! Most people think it sounds so vain, but I’m nervous about how I will feel about myself and my image. We are currently trying and sometimes I find myself thinking that I already feel pudgier bc I’m not being as strict on myself with diet and exercise now.

      But I keep reminding myself that baby weight gain is SOOO incredibly different than normal weight gain!!

  23. Once the kicking starts, you’ll start obsessing over “is it moving enough?! why haven’t I felt movement in xxx hours?!??!” It never really stops. Once the baby is here, there’s SIDS… welcome to motherhood. From here on out, you never stop worrying.

  24. Oh my – I hated that “I ate too much stage!” My stomach was just extra pudgy and soft from about week 14-20. Week 20 was when I popped and you could finally tell I had a baby bump. It was very hard for me to find shirts and pants that weren’t too big to make me look dumpy but not too tight either.

  25. Hi Kath! Loving the pregnancy posts and have followed your blog for years. I am also a dietitian (pediatric RD) and have a 2 year old. I gained close to 40 lbs during my pregnancy and was surprised that I went over the recommended 25-35 lbs I hoped to stay within. But, so much of it must have been water because shockingly, I was down 30 lbs the first time I weighed myself post-pregnancy, which I think was 10-14 days after delivery. The other 10 (+ a little more!) came off with breastfeeding and my new busy lifestyle! You look great and it’s nice to be along for the ride!

  26. The weight gain debate is so interesting! My doctor advised me to listen to my body but to think with my head too. Chances are the baby needs healthy fats from dairy, nuts and avocados but not the sugar from desserts and sweets. Your body will give the baby what he or she needs and your job is to replenish. I gained between 18 and 22 lbs with my three pregnancies – below the recommendations – but my children weighed between seven and eight and a half pounds. Pregnancy is the number one cause of obesity in women and there is a discussion of lowering the weight gain recommendation. No one should worry about weight gain, but pregnancy isn’t a free for all either. Balance is really the key!

  27. Just got caught up on all the week by week posts you’ve compiled and I love the detail! I never thought that I would be so interested in the pregnancy process at my age (babies = way off in the future for me) but I’ve been so fascinated by the stories I’ve read on blogs like yours. I think that when the time does come for me to experience it myself, I’ll feel so much better having felt like I’ve already been through it with others. Thanks so much for sharing your journey with all of us!

  28. I have enjoyed reading your prego posts and of course all of the wonderful recipes you share. I am 16 weeks now and super exicted to learn from others that I am not the only one with a swelling belly and body. It seemed like out of no where two weeks ago, the belly presented itself. It feels very real and totally cool…until you try to find something to where. I found that American Eagle jeans about two sizes bigger are working well for me, they are more of a stretchy material. In regards to feeling hungry and listening to your body is so very true as well. I am doing my best to eat well and incorporate all the foods that tasted bad or smelled bad during the first trimester back into my diet. I miss those leafy greens and raw veggies! My friend that shared your blog with me also gave me a bag of your Cville Cluster Granola that is one of my favorite granola’s of all time! I love the texture and once had a granola similar in Big Sur, CA and they added peanut butter. Will be ordering more from your store for sure! Thanks for sharing all you thoughts and congrats on your baby!!!

  29. Im 22 wks pg and glad you acknowledge that it IS possible to be pregnant and overeat! lol. Seriously, the lack of accountability i see among pregnant women really disappoints me. Your baby does not “need” you to gain 40 lbs or whatever. Women should be honest with themselves. For women with a normal bmi, unless there is a medical reason, anything above 20-30 lbs (and even the high end of that is too much), is you overeating!!! Plain and simple. Just like it ALWAYS IS. LOL. Its fine to say – “I am going to stuff my face, I dont care” but please do not pretend you are “doing it for your baby”. Oh and for the record, I started at 5’4′ 122, gained 9 lbs so far, aiming for 20-25 lbs weight gain. Normal healthy, reasonable, and no face stuffing just because I can.

  30. Kath, I am in college and SINGLE, but reading BERF makes even me excited about pregnancy! I hope I am blessed with the chance one day (but don’t worry, I am more than willing to wait until after marriage!). I think the biggest thing I have taken away from your blog is that the more a woman understands about her body and what is happening, the more exciting the whole process/experience is. Plenty of mystery remains, but also great empowerment from understanding what is transpiring.
    Blessings to you, Matt, and the little one inside of you!

  31. I know that this is super late…I have been following your blog for over 3 years now, and now I am pregnant! So, this morning, I remembered that you had a week by week update on how you felt and what your bump looked like! SO HELPFUL. Thank you so much for sharing the dirty details of symptoms, etc during your pregnancy!

    1. I want to second the most recent comment, I am 12 weeks into my first pregnancy and I have been following your BERF posts week by week since I found out we were expecting! Now I just need to find some maternity jeans, because I think my reg ones are not long for this life 😉

  32. I just wanted to say thank you. Your blog has put me to ease and I’ve honestly enjoyed reading it. Im now at 7 weeks 4 days and from the random cramp pain to the cookie cravings you’ve helped!

  33. You are exactly like me…im guilty Im pigging out too much at 12 weeks and even though I am having my fruit ans veggies im eating lots of bold stuff too…really great of you to share…i feel quite fat and tummy is pudgy…I feel like in 2nd trimester is when itll all evwn out a bit and will have more energy for exercise

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