22 Weeks: 10 Things

May 2, 2012

5 Things I Am Excited About

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1) Breastfeeding. I really hope things work out for me with nursing (I know they don’t always) because ever since I found out I was pregnant, I have been most excited about breastfeeding. I know it might hurt and I know it won’t be easy, but in the event that it goes well, just the thought of going through this experience makes me already feel a bond.

2) Babywearing. Similar to breastfeeding, I just can’t wait to hold my baby against my body. When I tried on the wrap the other day, just having a bear in there was exciting!! I hope I will be able to wear my baby all around town. I initially thought I might be a stroller mom, but now that I’ve learned more about the different kinds of carriers, I think having your baby tucked on you with free hands sounds like a great concept – at least when he’s little! The only thing I wonder: how much are my shoulders going to hurt if I’m lugging around a diaper bag and possibly camera gear in addition to the baby? In that sense, a stroller that holds all the weight for me sounds like a good idea too. 

3) Looking at him. And him looking at me! And more specifically, finding out who he looks like! Will he have Matt’s dark hair (likely not since he was blonde as a kid) or my green eyes (eventually)? I’ve seen so many babies who look just like their parents recently. Will our baby look like us? How will he change as he gets older? What will his personality be like? I can’t wait to find out!

4) The diaper bag. I’ve been obsessed with diaper bags since I was a 6 year old pushing a doll in a doll stroller. The pockets, the contents, the style – all of the above. The Skip Hop Messenger is my current favorite because I love the fit of messenger bags and the pockets on the front are great for easy access to mom’s things. Dad-friendly too! I think I will be a nerd who packs her diaper bag with diapers and toys as soon as I get one. I will probably never use a purse again since I’m such a minimalist to begin with: phone, wallet, small pouch of personal items (like chapsick) are all I ever carry around. [Oh plus a DSLR half the time Smile ] Throw them in my diaper bag and I’m set!

5) Playing with dad. It seems like Matt gets a little more excited with each day that passes. He loves to play with kids and he seems to be getting a lot of playtime in with babies around us lately. They always say that dads become dads when the baby is born, and I’m eager to see what it’s like to have him hold our baby in his arms.

5 Things I Am Nervous About

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1) The lifestyle adjustment. When I hang out with a baby or babysit, I have a lot of fun, but I have to admit I’m relieved when I go home to my two-person household again. From my perspective right now, I think the hardest part of motherhood is that it’s never ending. You can have short breaks with babysitters or nursery school and eventually elementary school, but at least while you’re nursing fulltime there aren’t many breaks in the day [or night], and I imagine that gets exhausting. But I’m also hoping that I will just be so in love with my baby that maybe I won’t mind at all : ) As far as things like going out to dinner and hanging with our friends go, Matt and I are determined to keep as much of our lifestyle going as possible. Maybe not right away, but certainly when we get in a good routine. Baby in the carrier at an outdoor concert? Lynsie and 3-week-old D are already out and about, so I think it just takes a good amount of planning and determination to keep your social life going.

2) That something will go wrong. I tend not to worry about things too much until I have a reason to. I keep my fears tucked in the back of my mind just to remind myself they’re possible, but I tend to be very optimistic in general. So if it seems like I am overly optimistic on my blogs – it’s because I am. But that doesn’t mean I don’t understand (or struggle with) the realities of life. I’m nervous that something will go wrong with labor and delivery or the baby’s health. Nothing is predictable. But as I always says, I’ll cross that bridge if we get there.

3) The messes. I have to admit I’m scared of food smeared all over my house. And toys everywhere. And just a sense of chaos at home. I’m mentally prepared for it (eventually at least!) because I know kids are messy.  I’m terrified of the day when my 5 year old throws up in bed it in the middle of the night. I did that as a kid, and I don’t know how my mom dealt with the mess of throw up (it’s worse than poop if you ask me). Food WILL be smeared in nooks and crannies and all over my baby and me, and I’m sure while I’m nursing milk will go everywhere too. I’ll just have to learn to live with it – and get a good cleaning system in place!

4) My workload + blogging. While I could give myself a nice long maternity leave from both blogs, I don’t really want to. I don’t really know what will happen when the baby is born. I can see myself not having the energy to post more than photos, but I can also see myself finding the energy from somewhere to blog  almost as I do now during naps or in the evenings. I just have no idea what to expect, and the last thing I want is to feel totally overwhelmed with all the things I do as a blogger and the learning curve of being a mom. Nervous.

5) Baby #2. No plans for one yet (we’d like to wait 3-4 years) and no certainty we will have another, but I’m already thinking how much harder pregnancy would be with a toddler to chase after! I’m also wondering where we will put baby #2 if we stay in our current house. We’d either have to have them share a room, lose our guest room, finish the attic, or move. Totally not something I should be worrying about right now, but it’s crossed my mind more than once as the last room in the house starts to fill up. This house was plenty big with just the two of us, but two could turn into 4 (or 5 if a dog makes its way in!) quicker than I realize. But let’s cross that bridge when we get there :mrgreen:

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{ 76 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Molly @ RDexposed May 2, 2012 at 8:05 am

Love that you came forwarded with your nervous list.
I must admit that after a day with my twin nephews, I’d sleep like a rock due to that lifestyle adjustment.
And glad you’re promoting breastfeeding (would expect nothing less though). Breast is best!

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2 Linda May 2, 2012 at 8:09 am

I loved this post and can completely relate to both lists of excitement and fear. I have a 17 month old with another on the way. I’m much more relaxed about baby #2 since I have experience with a newborn now. I still work through the constant battle of a never ending mess. As a newborn, our daughter was one of those babies that spit up, A LOT. I had no idea the amount of spit up that could come out of a baby. I finally just let it go and dealt with beach towels covering play areas on the floors and the couches, and eventually just gave up on the carpet during this period. I’d clean up the best I could and we just decided as soon as this phase ended we’d get the carpet steam cleaned. Anyway, you adjust to the changes in life and they are challenging, but the addition of a child is like no other. Enjoy!!

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3 Brittany May 2, 2012 at 8:11 am

Breastfeeding can be a challenge at first, but it is so worth it. I think it really depends on the person–I am a redhead and have sensitive skin, so you could have a totally different experience than someone else.

Don’t give up if you really want to keep at it. They say that you shouldn’t be in pain if the baby is latched on correctly. However, after seeing a lactation consultant, a La Leche League consultant, etc., I was still in agony–my daughter felt like a piranha :-). I was in pain for the first three months–no joke–and experienced mastitis, thrush, cracks and bleeding, etc. But then, the pain went away, and believe it or not, there will come a time when you have to look down to see if the baby is still nursing or not because you can’t feel anything. It is a very rewarding and special experience (not to mention so good for you and the baby health-wise), and I am so glad I didn’t quit. You’ll do great!

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4 katie@newmamamac May 2, 2012 at 8:18 am

congrats on sticking with it after all of that! it is so rewarding and you are right there comes a day when all of a sudden you don’t feel a thing!

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5 Elizabeth May 2, 2012 at 9:58 am

I had about 6 months of problems and had to use a variety of coping techniques to get through it all (nipple shields, exclusively pumping, lecithin supplements, etc.). I would recommend hoping for the best but having a back up plan of support. Ask your pregnant friends now if they have a lactation consultant they love. They are not all made equal. I saw four different lactation consultants, and some were much better than others. Having a phone number of a local person already on hand can provide some mental support when you are in pain and truly engorged (as opposed to just having swollen pregnancy breasts like you have now).

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6 Ali May 4, 2012 at 2:07 am

I totally agree- finding a good lactation consultant is a HUGE advantage to breastfeeders! My baby had a bat latch unfortunately, but with the help of an awesome lactation consultant and a nipple shield we were able to correct it after 3 months. So glad we stuck with it. He is 8 months old now and nursing like a pro!

Also- wanted to mention since you brought it up in your post I did the same thing with regards to baby carriers. I put the baby in the Moby wrap (now that he’s a big bigger-15lbs- I put him in the Ergo) and put my bag and camera and junk into the stroller! Especially good if you are shopping and have a lot of bags with you! Another big thing for me was (since my baby was born in the fall) keeping the baby close and away from random people’s hands and fingers…people love to touch new babies…NO THANK YOU! But keeping him in the Moby wrap while we did things like grocery shop was great. Most people aren’t brave enough to come and touch them if you are wearing them!

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7 katie@newmamamac May 2, 2012 at 8:16 am

Linda is right. the ability to just let it go is a really important step to motherhood. letting go of the mess, letting go when listening to crying that can’t be stopped, letting go of sleep, etc.

both of your lists were point on! i often say to my husband that we will never get a break for the rest of our lives! i say that during the tough times though. and we have had many little breaks throughout the almost one year of being parents. we have another break this weekend for an out of town wedding. these breaks are so much more pleasurable since they are hard to come back. you enjoy them more.

make sure you have a lot of loving babysitters on hand. and people u feel comfortable calling up to watch the baby for an hour just so u can take a nap or a shower.

each stage is hard and awesome at the same time. when it is really hard just remind yourself this is just a stage (sleep regression, disobeying, getting into everything, teething)

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8 Anna May 2, 2012 at 8:19 am

I have a one year old and am pregnant with baby #2 and think your thoughts are reasonable. I’ve exclusively nursed since birth – no bottles since pumping was awful and time consuming. It was awful the first 3 months but it got incrementally easier. I hate diaper bags! They agre bulky and can be overkill. I keep stuff in my car or throw an extra diaper in my purse ( we cloth) but that’s it. Babies are pretty simple and I guess I never brought bottles with me and always nursed in public so that cut down the bulk. I also hate hate hate changing diapers in bathrooms. I used my car in nice weather or laid down a blanket in a quiet area and that made life easier. We do tons of baby wearing. It made life easier and chills my girl out. Wasn’t easy as a new newborn since they are like jello but we figured it out. And the lifestyle change? Pretty much rocks your world. I remember being frustrated with childless couples who could just go to bed and wake up on their terms. Sleep deprivation is truly awful and I had an easy baby but you just are not prepared for waking a few times a night. Co sleeping helped but it’s not a cure all. Don’t worry about messes seriously. You will do anything for your child.

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9 whitney May 2, 2012 at 8:32 am

It’s interesting how certain things are excitement for some and nervousness for others… breastfeeding scares the heck out of me. I definitely want to do it and I know all the benefits, it just freaks me out a little! I’m sure that will change once I have my own baby.

Also, I’m really glad you stay “overly optimistic” on your blog… I think that’s what keeps everybody coming back! :)

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10 Amanda Perry @ Sistas of Strength May 2, 2012 at 8:50 am

Love that you are thinking ahead so much. You’re going to be a great mom and you’re right…a LOT will change and adjusting to having more people (instead of your house of 2) is a huge adjustment, but also so amazing. I literally always think ” what the heck did I do with all of my time before”?

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11 Jen May 2, 2012 at 8:51 am

Yes. Totally hear you, especially the lifestyle changes. It’s just impossible to predict (but that doesn’t stop me from spending energy trying to work it out!)

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12 Jen May 2, 2012 at 9:01 am

You WILL be able to breastfeed and baby wear. :) Your attitude will help tremendously. I was so worried about it, but it is going really well with us!

Your fears are the same as mine. I think once your baby is here it really helps. A lot of things will just be normal!

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13 Nicole May 2, 2012 at 9:03 am

I totally remember being at the end of my first pregnancy (when I was only 24!) and getting SO excited about breastfeeding. I think people thought I was really weird LOL The good news is that the % of women who truly cannot breastfeed (due to physical problems) is VERY small–like 2%. BUT…the bigger issue in our country is lack of support! If we had grown up seeing all the women around us (mom, sisters, cousins, friends etc…) nursing constantly, we would have learned a lot from them…but we live very solitary lives right now (hence new moms not having support and higher rates of PPD) and don’t get to see breastfeeding as a normal behavior.

For me, doing anything other was not an option. I just knew that I’d make it work–and I set myself up for success by doing things like having a lactation consultants # on hand for the second I thought something might be off, not letting the lactation consultant leave in the hospital until we were SURE he had a great latch, not being afraid to un-latch and re-latch him numerous times a feeding if I didn’t think he was was on right, and not having bottles or formula in my house that might tempt me if things got rocky. And here I sit 16 years later having nursed my three sons for a combined total of 8 1/2 years! Never, ever thought I would nurse that long but it just happened along the way (I was aiming for a mere 6 months with my first LOL).

Oh and I definitely had a diaper bag addiction! When you can’t carry a cute purse, sometimes it’s all you have to feel stylish ;)

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14 Randi May 2, 2012 at 9:06 am

Just to calm your breast feeding fears: I know this isn’t at all the case for most women but breast feeding was super easy for me. I was terrified from all the horror stories I’d heard but it was nothing like that. No latch issues, no pain , no bleeding, nothing but a teeny soreness that was totally bearable after labor! Just so you know sometimes it’s easy and natural for some women. I BF for 16 months!

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15 Sarah @ Williamsburg Baby May 2, 2012 at 9:12 am

I too am nervous about the mess, especially stickiness. Obviously I will have to get over it, but whenever I see a friend’s toddler careening towards me with sticky paws I want to immediately hose them off. I feel really frazzled when our house starts to get cluttered and messy (and that’s usually because I am working at home and distracted.) Of course, these are minor things, but it’s still down to how much control you exert over your environment and day to day life which is a biggie.

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16 Amy May 2, 2012 at 9:17 am

I just ordered the Skip Hop messenger yesterday (baby due in less than 2 weeks) – I have no idea why, but it took me forever to decide! The reviews on baby stuff are all over the place and clearly due to everyone having different ideas of functionality. We’ll see how it works for us (soon!).

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17 Colleen May 2, 2012 at 9:21 am

I love this post because I am having the same thoughts! We are trying to conceive right now and when I think about the mess, the loss of social life, the never getting a break I get really nervous and second guess our decision to become parents. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who is a bit scared to take that leap of faith.

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18 Melissa @ HerGreenLife May 2, 2012 at 9:31 am

The things you’re nervous about are very understandable. The lifestyle adjustment is still something I’m struggling with, and my little guy is almost 10 months, but it’s also one of those things that is different for every mom/couple. It’s good to be realistic and at least admit that it will be somewhat of an issue, because it IS a big change.

I don’t always handle the challenges and downsides gracefully, but I am managing, and I know you will too!

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19 Melissa @ HerGreenLife May 2, 2012 at 9:38 am

One more thing — two very helpful mottoes during the first year:

1) One day at a time.
2) This is not forever, this is just life with an X-month-old.

Repeat as often as needed, paired with some deep breaths.

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20 Gretchen May 2, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Right on!

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21 Lauren May 2, 2012 at 9:31 am

All your thoughts seem right on. I was so excited to breastfeed but had low supply. Luckily formula does exist for supplementing but I was still able to breastfeed. I always keep a small stroller and ergo carrier with me and use whatever works best at the time. I loved my diaper bag but now throw a diaper in my purse but the diaper bag is still perfect for travel. You are going to fall head over heels in love and hopefully just focus on your babe and let your nervous thoughts slip away. There will be messes and illness and you will handle it. As for baby #2… Ill comment when I cross that bridge ;)

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22 Breanna May 2, 2012 at 9:38 am

I have a 13 month old and am still nursing a few times a day. Nobody is more surprised about this than I am! We had a really difficult time at the beginning….my baby was a month early, my milk was late coming in, he wasn’t gaining weight, and we were both so exhausted it was all we could do to just keep up with the feeding schedule. We ended up nursing for 40 min, then I would pump for 30 min, and then my husband would give the pumped milk to our little guy via a syringe taped to his finger. In all, the process took over an hour and a half. I would have an hour and a half off and then start over again. This went on 24 hours a day for over a month before he consistently started gaining weight and nursing more efficiently. I seriously thought it would be a miracle if we made it to three months and were still nursing. I also thought I was losing my mind at times. (Add to this the fact that I was using a walker for six weeks after birth due to complications with delivery) Things did get easier though! He became a better nurser, we fell into a rhythm, and just muddled through. Now, at 13 months, I still nurse three times a day (right when he wakes, afternoon, and before bed) and will stop nursing when we are both sick of it! :) My biggest recommendation is to read the website http://www.kellymom.com inside and out!! That website was a HUGE lifesaver for me and is one that I reference to this day. Best of luck!

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23 Jessica May 7, 2012 at 2:32 pm

I totally second the kellymom recommendation…it’s an awesome resource! I would suggest going to a breastfeeding class if you can, too.

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24 Julie H. of Spinach and Sprinkles May 2, 2012 at 9:45 am

I am nervous about breastfeeding because I know it isn’t easy and that it doesn’t work for everyone. I need to check into some books to learn more…. Need to find a good one!
….I am nervous about labor because around here, all I have is a doctor. Births around here are very hospital like and it kind of goes against the flow of what I’m wanting as far as labor is concerned. Guess we’ll see. I bet I’m going to annoy the heck out of my dr at the next appointment with all of the labor/delivery questions I’ve got.
I can’t wait to see our little one and know that he is OURS!

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25 Jenn May 2, 2012 at 9:47 am

So relatable! I has to admit I was one of those moms who didn’t have that insant bond, it took some adjustment- and that first month was the hardest of my life- for me it was very very hard letting go of my previous get up and go lifestyle. I have to admit one of the biggest mistakes I made was seeing a lactation consultant. She was a Nazi who tried to convince me my baby was tongue tied and needed to have her tongue clipped (her pedi disagreed). I don’t particularly like breast feeding because of the constant construction- it’s hard and demanding, I do supplement with formula with a bottle at night because I will eventually put her on formula. I’m selfish- I like wine. The thin I do love and want to keep doing while she is waking up at night is feeding her in bed and both of us falling asleep together. That is awesome bonding time. But you know what? It’s perfectly ok to do forma during the day and breastfeed at night- the consultant made me feel like my baby and I were terrible for her tongue tie and me wanting to not exclusively breastfeed- but it’s okto do what works beat for you and your family :-)

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26 Jenn May 2, 2012 at 9:49 am

Sorry for spelling- stupid iPhone autocorrect

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27 Ali May 2, 2012 at 9:48 am

You are right – breastfeeding does hurt for the first couple of weeks…your nipples aren’t used to doing that much work, you might get scabs….it also causes your uterus to hurt because it stimulates hormones that contract your uterus back down to normal size BUT it does get so much better after the first couple of weeks, and ends up not hurting at all. If you can bear with the initial discomfort, it’s smooth sailing afterwards.

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28 Kelley May 2, 2012 at 9:48 am

I think I’m most worried about losing my lifestyle too. I’m afraid of losing my identity and all things that make me ME! I kind of like my family of 2, but I imagine it just gets better with three!

(But yes, I’m not looking forward to the ‘messes’ either!)

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29 Jen May 2, 2012 at 9:56 am

Love this list! As the mom of a 20 month old, have to say that your concerns (and excitement) are right on!

This reminded me of a friend who was pregnant when my daughter was 11 months old, and asked me “how long does it take for life to get back to normal?” I had to chuckle, as I informed her that will never happen- but she would find a new “normal” in time. Now that her baby is 10 months, she laughs at that question herself! There will be sleep-deprivation (she has NEVER been a good sleeper, and just finally started sleeping through SOME nights at 19 months), there will be pain, and there will be LOTS of messes– but you will cherish it all. In 5, 10, 20 years we’ll all be looking back at those messes fondly.

Welcome to the greatest adventure!!

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30 Allison k May 2, 2012 at 9:59 am

This list is similar to mine. Although I am also excited to use the stroller. We have 3 carriers and a stroller…so we will see how things shake out.
As for optimism. I too, am an eternal optimist. Too the point that my friends make fun of me. :) today is my due date… And yesterday at the doc I got a hard dose of reality about labor and delivery; induction. Make sure that you force your optimistic sElf to face the realistic possibilities.
I am going to post about that in my 40 week post today.

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31 KERF May 2, 2012 at 10:07 am

Good luck this week!

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32 Allison May 2, 2012 at 10:02 am

I can totally related to everything on your list! I have to say the hardest thing for me has always been the lack of sleep. Nothing can prepare you for the sleep deprivation but things that would normally gross you out somehow aren’t so bad when they come from your own little person. I was one of those people that would throw up if I even saw someone else throw up and three kids later, I’ve been barfed on, pooped on and peed on more times than I can count and it doesn’t even phase me.

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33 jen May 2, 2012 at 10:10 am

lifestyle is a big adjustment. i think about a month after having our daughter it hit me that this was our new life. i will admit it was sad for me to go from having so much time alone with my husband to not. i was shocked at how much i missed even though he was home quite often compared to most husbands. it was an lifestyle adjustment all over again when we had our 2nd a few months ago too. thinking about it now is a good thing i think-helps to mentally adjust and not be totally thrown off! ..and the throw up..our 2 year old threw up in the middle of our bed a few months ago and i ended up just throwing the sheets in the trash. i just couldn’t deal with it and fortunately we always buy inexpensive sheets :)

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34 Nikki T May 2, 2012 at 10:16 am

Your lists sound a lot like my mental excitement and nervousness lists…SO funny about the diaper bag- I’ve been excited about one ever since I can remember too! Seems so silly, but I’m hoping to find the perfect one on my June trip to Seattle!!
I hope you have the energy to keep up blogging with baby…I don’t know what I’d do without KERF (and BERF) to read daily! :)

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35 Stacey May 2, 2012 at 10:44 am

We have the Skip Hop Messenger bag and LOVE it. The best part about it is being able to clip it to the stroller so easily. It can be a bit tight when trying to squeeze in too much.

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36 Lindsay @ Fuel My Family May 2, 2012 at 10:55 am

I LOVE breastfeeding. I did my first baby for 14 months and am still nursing my 8 month old. It hurts like heck for the first 3 weeks but after that its such a sweet bonding time. Its kind of like doing an unmedicated birth…expect it to hurt like no other, but know that there IS an end point and that end point is totally amazing.

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37 Jaye May 2, 2012 at 11:56 am

I love this post – I can relate with you on every single part of it :)

I truly hope nursing works out for you. It did for us (even though it was most definitely challenging) but it is amazing. Right now I’m struggling with breastfeeding a toddler who has a mouth of teeth and is VERY squirmy. It’s hard, and pushes me mentally as well as physically. But I wouldn’t change any of it. I love the bond. Just tell yourself it is a lifestyle change and that you WILL do it. The best advice I ever got regarding breastfeeding was that you can’t TRY to do it. You just have to make it happen, if you truly want to succeed. It takes an entire mental overhaul to get through some of those tough first weeks, but we were built for this task! You can do it!

I remember feeling exactly the way you did about the messes. You will get over it :) I was paranoid about the food splattered all over the baby, the floor, the highchair. The throw-up and poop explosions. The toys to trip on (I actually just wrote a post about this yesterday!) Then she came, and I realized it just wasn’t as bad as I imagined. When he arrives, you will adjust and never look back. That doesn’t mean you should just let it all go – we most certainly didn’t – but there are ways to deal with it. And honestly, it’s all in your mentality.

PS – I love your baby updates and can’t wait for you to meet your little man!

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38 Megan May 2, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Exactly, telling yourself you WILL do it is the one thing I wish someone had told me about breastfeeding. It truly was hard for us, many tears have been shed in the past weeks due to the physical pain and the mother’s guilt from supplementing to bring my preemie baby’s weight up.

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39 Laura P May 2, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Carries are great. Best advice I had about them was make sure the support is on your low back not your shoulder area, makes it easier to carry the kiddo for longer.
Enjoy!!!

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40 Emilie May 2, 2012 at 12:12 pm

I would be worried and excited about all those same things, even if they ARE in the distant future. I’m sure you will be great and love your new 3 person life, but it’s still hard to imagine at this point. I can’t wait to see how your life progresses!

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41 Averie @ Averie Cooks May 2, 2012 at 12:36 pm

So many things to touch on in this post but I can say definitively I do not have food smeared on the walls and do not look at a sea of plastic toys everywhere. We set boundaries about toys and where they go and the whole house is not nor ever was covered in baby stuff or kiddie toys. We live in a tight urban condo and things could go from manageable to out of control, very quickly, but we don’t let it. When things are super messy, I go into visual overload mode and can’t handle it so just don’t let it get that way. So that’s just my little story that it doesn’t have to happen to you :)

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42 Tara May 2, 2012 at 12:45 pm

As several other people said, breastfeeding can be painful in the beginning but it does get better. I had a very difficult time as my baby did not latch properly (his bottom lip would be sucked in) and it was seriously excruciatingly painful for a good 2 months and it was not until he was about 4.5 months that I actually got really comfortable with it and now I can honestly say, I enjoy it. Even with the pain I felt great about sticking to it. He’s 6 months now and I’m actually sad how little I get to breastfeed him these days (introducing solids, back to work, etc.) My point is, it may hurt and be really difficult at times but stick to it and it will get easier, even if it takes a few months. And hey, you could even be one of the lucky ones and it’s easy from the start.
Also, I love seeing our son with his dad. It is the most joyous thing in the world (one of many when baby comes along).

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43 Tania May 2, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Kath, I have the Skip Hop Messenger bag in light gray and my hubby and I LOVE it! We have both a stroller and carrier. I don’t think you have to choose.

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44 Lauri May 2, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Breastfeeding has been going really well for me so far (‘knock on wood’). It hurt for the first week and I was really scared that I was going to be in pain for a long time, but after the first several days, I guess my body got used to it and it no longer hurts!!

I haven’t been able to get Brantley to settle down all day, so I tried putting her in the Moby Wrap and she was asleep in under a minute!! And has been asleep for about an hour now! Phew! I must admit, there is some strain around my shoulder blades, hopefully this will go away as I get ore use to wearing her… I’m also overly paranoid that there isn’t enough room between her chin and chest, so I check her breathing every 10seconds or so! I’m sure I will get more comfortable the more that I wear her though! She sure looks happy!

Brantley broke me in the first day home with a PROJECTILE poo (it’s pretty amazing to see that stuff shoot across the room! a little gross…but funny!), followed by a pee and a spit up, all within the same 2 minutes! I’m sure you will get broken in quickly too :) Luckily, breast milk poo doesn’t smell at all and washes out easily. Anything that hasn’t come out in the wash, gets ‘bleached out’ by the sun!

I think we ALL worry that something will go wrong at some point… and I don’t think that worry will ever go away!

Seeing Ben with Brantley melts my heart on a daily basis!! So Sweet!!

And I already planning baby #2 as well!!!! Can’t wait!

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45 Lauri May 2, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Oh, and just a thought on the ‘socializing’… We have gone out a couple of times and I have a baby shower to go to this weekend, but I’ve found myself a bit paranoid about people and their germs. Brantley hasn’t received any vaccinations yet (first round is at 2 months, and I am pretty sure we are going to do a modified schedule) and her immune system is still strengthening, so I try to limit social occasions. I also carry around a small thing of hand sanitizer! Granted she does get some protection from breastfeeding, but I’m trying to be selective for the first couple of months, until her immune system has had a little time to mature more. My pediatrician also recommended we use caution during the first couple of months… Just my thoughts :)

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46 Cailin May 2, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Lots of good thoughts ! I loved breastfeeding and was lucky with the first two to have no issues, pain, or anything negative with my experience.

The lifestyle change was a huge adjustment and keep the house perfect was something I finally had to let go of a little. Before our first was born I was a crazy cleaner- vacuuming almost everyday and everything had to be in its place before I went to bed. With the first one, it wasn’t too difficult to keep up with the house stuff- especially when she was a baby. I did things while she napped or when the husband got home. However, with two kids 3 and under, it’s nearly impossible. They love to play and their toys are everywhere! I try to keep order, but sometimes the most fun comes with the biggest messes. Having a perfect house might mean they are not having any fun! That being said, I am most relaxed when the house is clean and kids are asleep. :) Now that #3 is on its way I know I am in big trouble and probably going to need therapy about the mess and lack of routine that might occur!! :)))
It’s all worth it though!
Make sure you schedule date nights too! There’s nothing I love more than a nice dinner out or a movie now.

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47 Marci May 2, 2012 at 3:15 pm

I have been trying to get to my computer to comment since 8 a.m. when I read this on my phone! That’s foreshadowing… I had the same things to be nervous about. What was unexpected for me is that as much as I enjoy cooking, baking, and updating my blog, when I would have some free time in the very beginning, I would use it to shower, eat, write thank you notes, etc. Standing in the kitchen and cleaning wasn’t high on the list. Everyone figures it out for themselves!
You will be fine with breastfeeding.
Something will go wrong, you’ll deal with it! I’ve learned there’s always something to worry about.
I’m still figuring out how to get my own life back. It’s very hard to get anything done between feedings. I just keep telling myself my job right now is the baby, and everything else is extra.

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48 Suzanne May 2, 2012 at 4:33 pm

I just had to comment about the second child nervousness. We had our second when our first was 2.5 years old and had just started sleeping through the night consistently. It was exhausting. However, it’s SO cute seeing them become little buddies (that fight a lot). They love each other so much and sometimes I just can’t get over how sweet they are. They share a room and have since the youngest was six months old. Now they have bunk beds and love it. It works great for us to have them in one room and we’d keep them together even if we moved into a bigger place, at least until they’re 12 or so.

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49 KERF May 2, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Glad to hear the room sharing is going well! I didn’t think about the camaraderie that they probably have.

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50 Sara May 2, 2012 at 5:32 pm

You’re right to be nervous and to start thinking about how to handle all those things now. I was nervous about health issues, too, but we were lucky to end up with two healthy and happy kids. The thing I was really not prepared for was the fact that our kids are soooo energetic. I think you mentioned that you were going to get the book “Raising your Spirited Child” and I highly recommend it. The one thing I remember from that book is when she talks about having to sort of “mourn” the child you DIDN’T get. That is some spot-on advice right there. It made me feel so much better for being sad that I didn’t get a “perfect” child and it also helped me figure out how to truly love and embrace the little person that I DID get.

And lifestyle change is something you really just learn to deal with. Roll with the punches and don’t limit yourselves on what you think you should do just because there will be 3 of you now. We’ve included our children in all our activities from the beginning and we get comments frequently about how people are surprised that our kids do all these things with us – hiking, mountain biking, etc. I always tell people our family motto is “Torture them early and often” …and then they just don’t know any different and don’t know that they should complain about a 7-mile hike in the Texas heat. ;)

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51 Julie May 2, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Ive breastfed my 2 boys for a total of 5 1/2 years and counting! Excited to hear thats your plan! Have you heard of the kellymom.com site? It’s a gret evidence based site (I’m also a mom/baby RN) and they have an awesome, supportive message board! Including a pregnancy forum! Check it out! Good luck as you prepare!

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52 Natasha May 2, 2012 at 6:41 pm

You are so right about all these things and I think your expectations in general are realistic! It is never ending but so are the rewards of it. I will say that with 3 little ones there is very little alone time but I know this will change and I will be sad when they are grown.

If you wear your baby correctly it will NOT hurt your back. I didn’t realize this until baby number 3!

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53 Melissa Krug May 2, 2012 at 6:51 pm

So happy to hear you’re planning to breastfeed! I nursed my four sons for a total of 6 1/2 years. It’s a wonderful experience even though it can be challenging at times. I highly suggest you find a local chapter of La Leche League and start attending meetings (you can go while you’re pregnant). It’s nice to have a support system in place before you have your baby. Be sure to find the group that fits ‘you’. They are all a bit different. I have had many wonderful friendships over the years through these groups.

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54 Laurel May 2, 2012 at 6:56 pm

I just had our first (a boy!) 5 days ago, so I’m feeling really deep in-the-trenches, trying to figure this whole mommy thing out. I can say, every morning I wake up and tell myself “Ok, let’s do Wednesday.” Seriously I am making it one day at a time, one feeding at a time, one diaper at a time. Our little guy wants to nurse all. the. time. Seriously, I’m lucky if I get an hour and a half before he wants to nurse again. I’m thankful breastfeeding is going so well, almost too well!

About the messes, when they happen (spit up, poop on everything) my husband and I just laughed through the whole thing. When it’s your babe, all you care about is making sure he’s happy, fed, and clean, and everything else comes second. And everything can be washed or replaced.

For lactation consultants, you may want to try a few out. The first one that met with us was horrible, “do this, don’t do that, hand here, pillow there, relax your shoulders!” I felt like a failure, even though I knew we had been doing fine before. We met with a different one who was wonderful, gentle, and supportive.

I’m sure you’ll be as prepared as possible, I’m similar type A :) to prepare for breastfeeding, I read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding cover to cover, put all the nearby La Leche League meetings on my calendar, planned for lactation consultants, experimented with hand expression and my pump (only after 40 weeks!) and I feel very ready and like we’re doing well.

Best of luck! One day at a time!

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55 KERF May 2, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Congrats on 5 days old!

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56 Brittany (Healthy Slice of Life) May 2, 2012 at 7:33 pm

All totally realistic excitement and nervousness :) I remember the first time looking at Hailey and thinking “we made you”. It’s incredibly powerful and humbling.
Also, David and I were determined to keep out lifestyle going as normally as possible, too. I’m sure it depends on the baby, but we’ve had great success so far! And that’s without family or a babysitter around, so it can be done.
The biggest thing I’ve learned is that everything will sort itself out. One day at a time and just enjoy the ride. I’m overly optimistic, too, but I can really say it’s been awesome. There is nothing like being a mom and I’m just so excited for you!

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57 KERF May 2, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Based on your blog, you guys have done a great job keeping your lifestyle fun!

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58 Jenn May 2, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Love your lists!
I just wanted to say that I do quite a lot of babywearing – and since we’re breastfeeding, the only extra things I take with me are a spare diaper or 2/spare onesie/burp cloth/small packet of wipes, so it didn’t seem like much extra to lug around..- I’ve been able to fit those in my regular handbag! Sometimes if we’re going a long way, or doing shopping I’ve taken the buggy – worn the baby, and used the buggy to carry my shopping!

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59 Jennifer May 2, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Then, of course, when there is more than one child and they both get sick at the same time. That’s always fun. (haha)

I think you’ll find that all of your fears will just work out. :) It all just seems to work.

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60 Madeleine May 2, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Your list of concerns (questions?) was a lot like mine when I was pregnant, epsecially since he was a surprise. I was always so relieved to leave my friend’s house who had kids and retreat to my quiet home. But over a year and a half into my mamahood and I can tell you that when the baby is your own, you feel differently. Don’t get me wrong; it’s a TON of work and I was exhausted for over a year, but you just have more patience for your own little miracle and you think everything they do is adorable and amazing and special. So it is really hard to compare to your friend’s kids. It doesnt seem like work to be with your baby (well, sometimes it does, but not all the time! :) )

I won’t even get into the messes that my 21 month old boy leaves around the house. You have a good 7 months after the birth before you really have to worry about that.

All the best through your pregnancy and the birth. It really is an amazing time

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61 Julie May 2, 2012 at 10:56 pm

We have two now but after our son I was surprised at how chaotic it wasn’t. Ha. It really wasn’t as crazy as I thought it would be. The first three months were really hard sleepwise (he had days/nights mixed up) but it all felt so natural. And I agree about getting out and keeping up with friends/fun, it’s not that hard!! I think the more you take kids out, the more used to it they become and the easier it is. We flew cross country with a 3 yr. old and a 3 month old, and it was fine! Life can be an adventure with children :)

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62 Maura @ My Healthy 'Ohana May 2, 2012 at 11:20 pm

We loved our Skip Hop Messenger Bag…we got it in black, so my husband would feel comfortable carrying it too. The backpack version is not as stylish, but I found it’s easier to use, especially if you’re out walking for long periods or hiking. It’s so nice to read about the things you’re excited about :)

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63 Robin Christeson May 2, 2012 at 11:26 pm

I was really excited about the diaper bag before I had my daughter too, LOL! If you’re a minimalist you might like the bag I use, the Marsupial from Loom. http://www.loomlife.com/marsupial.shtml. It was a little small in the beginning (when I thought I needed to carry around the entire nursery with me at all times) but I eventually figured out it is the perfect size for me. The style works great for Dad too. I even carry around my DSLR inside now. The avocado green is on sale (that’s the one I got) and the lining and changing pad are a really cute blue color (that isn’t shown on the website). Our fuzzibunz fit inside nicely too:) Oh, and the magnetic closure is really convenient if you’re planning on doing a lot of baby wearing. It’s really easy to grab what you need with one arm since there aren’t any snaps or zippers.

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64 KERF May 3, 2012 at 7:14 am

Pretty! Wish it had exterior pockets, but love the magnetic closure concept

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65 Leila @ Spinach and Skittles May 2, 2012 at 11:39 pm

My list of concerns is very similar. Especially baby #2. Teaching and being pregnant with my first was really difficult during first trimester because I was so sick and fell asleep as soon as I got home from work. I don’t know how I’ll handle that again + the needs of a toddler! But at least my 23 kids give me practice with time management on a daily basis :)

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66 Gretchen May 2, 2012 at 11:53 pm

Over time it just gets better. Not alway easy (I have a 10 yr old and almost 4 yr old), especially with 2 girls, but life is good as a mom. We have not let kids stop us from going out to eat, camping, car and tractor shows, hanging out with friends, etc. They just tag along and have fun with us. We’ve made the best out of all situations and push forward. My hubby and I both work, so any extra time is for family. That’s the important part! Y’all will be fine!

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67 Janna May 3, 2012 at 3:35 am

No great advice here (5 months as a first time mom and still learning): but your statement that you’ll “cross that bridge if you come to it” is the best piece of advice any mom can give another FTM.
I didn’t know I would have an inverted/flat nipple (yes, just one), latch trouble, mastitis, thrush, and pumping issues (mostly with that one faulty nipple). I had to learn to trust my body and trust that my baby was going to be okay if I had to stop. I made it four months and couldn’t keep up with her growth spurts so I had to let my pride go and do what was best for my baby. In this case it meant switching to formula. I’ve cried a million tears over it, and overdue laundry, and forgetting to pay one bill one month. Cross the bridge if you come to it and try not to stress over what hasn’t happened – just spend that time with your little one. They really do grow so darn fast.
- Bobby, Janna & Peyton in MT

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68 Crystal May 3, 2012 at 8:58 am

I think your list of fears/concerns/worries is pretty universal. I too had the same concerns with my first, and now I’m pregnant with my second (17wks). I admit I was neurotic about one thing with my DS: his sleep schedule! My hubby and I would not go out if it interfered with his nap, but I’m happy to report that at almost two he is an EXCELLENT sleeper, and we now have a life! :)

I will say that having a toddler and being pregnant is hard, but not as hard as you might think. Somehow, somewhere, you muster the energy to continue on as mommy even though you feel terrible. It’s mommy will power if you ask me.

I also wish you luck with breastfeeding. I had a terrible time with DS, but I managed to both breastfeed and do the bottle for six months (before switching totally to bottle). One promise I’m making to myself this go around is not to feel so bad if breastfeeding doesn’t work. If you have to do bottles, no harm will come to your baby and you can still bond just as much. What’s important is that your baby is healthy and getting the nutrition he needs.

Good luck, in everything! I’m right there with you!

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69 Angel7 May 3, 2012 at 10:32 am

I breastfed for as long as I could, and would not change that. It is so bonding!

I was worried about the messes, too, because I am very neat. But once I had our first child, they did not matter. Plus, she was/is not a messy eater. Although, she used to spit up a lot. But I would always make sure she had a bib on to catch it, and a blanket underneath her on the floor.

http://faithfulsolutions.blogspot.com/

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70 robin May 3, 2012 at 11:46 am

You know what ,it all just works out.

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71 Kathleen Ojo @ Onward; Inward May 3, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I’m with you on all the worries, especially with adjusting my lifestyle and keeping work/me-time/family-time/school in balance once our little one arrives (July!).

Breastfeeding and watching my husband love on our daughter are also things I’m definitely looking forward to, as well. I know it’s going to be crazy, but it will be wonderful too. We’ll make it!

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72 Kat May 3, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Breastfeeding was amazing and a PITA all at the same time ;) I can’t wait to do it all over again someday. And yea – the mess is hard, time management is definitely something that you’ll have to perfect…but I can already tell you’ll be great!

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73 Tammy @ Palm Trees and Manatees May 3, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Wow, it’s so fun to read all this because I just had our baby girl in January. I had so many of the same excitements and fears. If you have ANY questions about breastfeeding, please, please do write to me. I had such a tough time in the beginning because our little girl had some issues with her mouth muscles. It was so excruciatingly painful and my supply started to go down because she wasn’t getting enough. I was so determined, and I exclusively pumped for almost TWO months, then tried breastfeeding again, and it suddenly worked again! I love it so much and am so glad I stuck with it even though life was very difficult for those two months. I wanted to throw all the breastfeeding books out the window and tell all the people trying to help me that they didn’t know what they were talking about, LOL. It’s funny, because you and your baby really do figure out your own way. That being said, I’m very realistic about breastfeeding and would be happy to be a resource if you get frustrated with the “everything will be great, just do it this way” crowd. Then again, maybe it will be simple for you from day one like it was for my sister-in-law! Congratulations, and enjoy every moment. :) Pregnancy and childbirth are the most amazing experiences, second only to having your precious baby in your arms.

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74 Monica May 3, 2012 at 9:00 pm

What a fun post! And something all moms-to-be should read. These are all such normal feelings and expecting mins should know that.

Prior to Wrigley’s arrival last November I shared many of your fears. And I will tell you as someone who had full on heavy baby blues, there are moments of highs and low as you adjust to everything. My biggest challenge was simply learning to let go and to give in to the chaos. But there was no learning, you just eventually do. You see those sparkling newborn eyes, you inhale that sweet smell and forget about the pile of laundry, your leaking boobs and the unanswered emails. You give in and take every snuggle you can get. Motherhood is truly one of the most incredible things in the world, but do hard to understand until you are swimming in those waves.

And yes, breast feeding is one of my favorite things about being a mom! It is beyond rewarding, such a pure act of love.

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75 Amy May 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Keep your optimism about breastfeeding! It is difficult at the beginning- you may feel like you are never dressed. However- after you both get the hang of it, it is so much easier than bottles. During the night you can just go and feed- no need to go to make or warm a bottle. When you are out and about- you don’t need to drag bottles- you have all the food your baby needs. The best thing I got for breastfeeding was a hooter-hider. They weren’t around with my first, but I had one with my second and will use it with my third (due in Oct). It is a lovely little light weight blanket that attaches around your neck, but it also has a little bit of something stiff that holds the top of it away from your neck. This way you can look down, see what baby is doing, but no one else can see what is going on in there. The BEST thing for feeding in public.

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76 Gabbi May 3, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Just found your blog- Fantastic!
My husband and I have decided to start a family, BUT we have to wait three months because I have just had my rubella vaccinations. I am so excited to start trying but this wait is going to kill me! I just keep going through website after website reading all the pregnancy and labour info and I haven’t even stopped taking the pill!
I don’t know what to do to try and stay calm for the next 12 weeks! Help?

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