5 years ago (almost to the week!) Matt and I were getting ready to get married. Pretty much every person we met had some kind of marriage advice for us. The overwhelming majority (mostly those of older generations) said: “YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE! YOUR RELATIONSHIP WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!”
Since Matt and I had never gotten married before, we didn’t really know what to expect, but in private we both agreed that we couldn’t imagine anything being different. We already lived together and we’d been together for 5 years. We didn’t think the labels of husband and wife would really change us much.
And you know what? We were right. Nothing changed. We were exactly the same pair! We had new commitments and new challenges, but there was nothing inherent about marriage that changed either of us. If anything, things got way better.
I can’t help but feel like my life is on replay. As we share with others that we are expecting, people loooove to say “YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE” in an ominous, warning tone. (Again, older generations seem to love this phrase! Surprisingly, younger parents are actually the ones who offer the most encouragement and excitement.)
Allow me to be a bit flippant here, but I KNOW! Luckily we chose this path and have both always wanted to be parents. The change that is coming is one we welcome with open arms. We know there will be sleepless nights (and I’m sure they’ll be even worse than I imagine) and tough days and times when we miss our old lives, but we still know this is coming.
I’m sure the folks with the ominous tones have good intentions. Perhaps they just wish they had been more mentally prepared when they were having their first child. But the tendency to dwell on the negative rather than the positive when it comes to having kids makes me sad. I am thankful for those who have said things like “It’s the most wonderful thing in the world.” As an optimist, I like to hope for the best and deal with the struggles when I get to them in my own journey.
Sarah recently wrote a post about people saying “Just you wait!” to her.
But I absolutely love the “just you waits!” shared by Katie in this post.
I loved Callie’s message to “Let Her Dream”
Please DO let us dream – and if you’d like to say “I told you so” when I’m complaining about all the messes, the stress, the sleeplessness a year from now, let that be your moment : ) **
**I’d like to say though that in my BERF comments you guys are all so supportive and I’m preaching to the choir : ) **
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