37 Weeks: Expecting The Unexpected–Pregnancy

With just a few weeks to go, I can hardly believe my pregnancy is almost over. In some ways, it has been nothing like I thought it would be. While thinking about the baby and what’s to come has taken up a huge amount of my brain space, I’m still surprised at how normal I feel. I really don’t even feel pregnant a lot of the time (unless I’m going from lying down to sitting up!) and I have no problem seeing my toes or shaving my legs.

Most of my knowledge of pregnancy before I went through it myself stemmed from the media, which we all know tends to exaggerate things! I figured at this point in the game I would be huuuge, waddling, crying, eating ice cream by the gallon, saying “get this baby out of me!”

So what has surprised me about pregnancy?


* That I’d Get Terrible Morning Sickness. Starting early on, I was shocked that I got morning sickness. You’d think the media would have prepared me well for this one! My mom didn’t get morning sickness and I have a pretty strong stomach. I learned that those two things don’t mean a thing. Even from pregnancy to pregnancy, women have totally different reactions. Luckily I was able to get it under control, but the whole first trimester was much, much worse than I was prepared for! I am hoping if I have a second pregnancy some day that I luck out and don’t get much. Hoping.

* That I’d Take So Long To Show. I’ve written about this a number of times, so it’s not news to anyone, but I really had no idea that it would take so long for the baby to get big in there! I figured I’d look about as pregnant as I do now at about 25 weeks, and I don’t think I really started to show-show until 30+ weeks. I figured all along that my small torso would lead to a huge bump, but I couldn’t have guessed more wrong.


* That I Would Gain Less Weight. I’m surprised at how my weight gain has hugged the lower end of normal. I think based on my history with being overweight in college, I just assumed that I would gain a ton of weight while pregnant. I assumed that the final months I would not be very happy with my body and would have a ton of weight to lose afterwards. Now of course I don’t really know how much I will have to lose quite yet, but I am not unhappy with my body at 37 weeks pregnant. Sure areas of me are much thicker than they used to be, and I have put on a normal amount of pregnancy weight, but I can still see my arm muscles and feel physically fit. I feel like my old self – just plus a big belly. Totally not what I would have predicted.

* That I Wouldn’t Be Moody, Grumpy Or Weepy. In the movies, the women always tear up at everything and yell at their husbands. “You did this to me!” The stereotype is that the husbands go through hell. In 9 months, I haven’t had any urges to be mean to my husband (perhaps that is due to a good relationship from the start) and really haven’t felt all that tearful or hormonal at all (except when watching A Baby Story : ) ). I’ve been lucky to avoid mood swings and the grumps too.

* That I Wouldn’t Get Heartburn Or Have To Pee All The Time. While for some strange reason I figured I wouldn’t get morning sickness, I did assume I would get all the other symptoms. I didn’t realize there was so much variation in pregnancy and that symptoms come and go. For example, I had bad back pain from weeks about 20-30 but now my back feels pretty great despite having a much bigger front. Some symptoms that I have others in my yoga class haven’t had at all, and unlike many of them, I never get up to pee in the night more than once – if at all. I’m thankful that I’m still sleeping pretty well too. It’s all just luck of the draw.


* That Sneezing Would Hurt So Much. This is due to a symptom I have – a tender muscle spot under my right ribs where little feet like to play. Still not sure what’s going on in there (but I’m almost positive – and so is my doctor – that it’s muscle and not an important organ that hurts), but gosh when I sneeze it’s the worst! I also can’t twist without making the muscle spasm and/or cramp. Backing out of a parking space when driving is quite painful!!

* That The Hardest Part Of Being Big Isn’t The Bump. I always figured the reason pregnant women were slow to move around was because the bump was soooo heavy. But now I realize the bump is pretty light – it’s everything aching on the inside – muscles, abs, ligaments, lower back, etc. – that keeps me from bounding out of bed or up from the couch. So many little ailments attributed to major structural changes all adding up at once.

* That I Wouldn’t Want To Eat Lots of [Junk] Food All Day. Although I definitely experienced some weird cravings, including a period where anything green totally turned me off, I’ve been surprised by the decrease in my appetite throughout pregnancy and the lack of change in my diet in general. Food just hasn’t tasted as good – even desserty foods – and I have been less hungry than I used to be. I figured I’d want to eat a box of cereal a day! There are two foods that I have loved this whole time: cheese and ice cream. Surprisingly though, I don’t want to go overboard on them. No cravings for fast food at midnight or a pint of Ben & Jerry’s for breakfast. A little ice cream is satisfying enough. This whole experience has been a wonderful time of intuitive eating. Another shock: that I wouldn’t go nuts going 9 months without beer + wine. It really hasn’t been that bad! But I’m also really looking forward to participating in the tasting of alcohol again.

* That It Would Go By So Fast. I have been trying to stop and say “ENJOY THIS MOMENT.” But even when you remember to stop and pay attention, the moments still fly by too fast. I keep thinking that I haven’t made enough videos of me pregnant. I haven’t taken enough photos. I DO have this whole blog to remember my emotions and thoughts, but sometimes I wish I could slow down time a little and really let it sink in what it feels like to be 29 years old, 37 weeks along and expecting my first baby.


* That Each Week Would Be Better Than The Last. I always assumed that as I approached my due date I’d get more and more uncomfortable and miserable. I’ve actually gotten happier and happier with pregnancy in general (although some physical symptoms are worse…). I didn’t really love being pregnant until the third trimester. Even in the middle of the second trimester I didn’t really have that “I love this and want to do it again” feeling that I’ve heard other women speak about. But now…now that I can feel him move, now that I have a sizable bump, now that nursery items are being purchased and delivery is getting close…now I love it. I definitely hope to do it again someday.

* That This Blog Would Be So Hard. I don’t regret writing BERF at all, and I’m thrilled that I have my pregnancy documented as an online journal. I’m also so thankful for those of you who have been supportive, positive and shared so many great tips and bits of advice. But overall, it’s been a lot of work and a lot more emotionally draining than I ever imagined. I’m very glad I created a new space to talk about pregnancy separate from KERF, but in some ways this experience has not been what I hoped it would be.

I feel now that I can’t be totally honest with my thoughts because pregnancy is such a sensitive topic and requires disclaimers in every post. There are topics I now don’t want to touch with a 10 foot pole. I wish I didn’t have to moderate comments to avoid people saying things like “You look fat” and “Stupidest post ever.” But thus is the internet. I have realized that I have no desire to be a mommy blogger when the baby is born. As much as I love reading the super helpful blog posts about sleep habits, baby gear, solid foods and cloth diapering that other bloggers have written, I don’t plan on continuing to write about topics on BERF. I just don’t want to open myself up for the kind of criticism that comes up, and I think motherhood is a part of my life that I want to keep more private.

That’s not to say that I won’t post 1,000 baby photos or pose questions for feedback as they come up, but I’m not going to turn BERF into a full-time mommy blog, which makes me a bit sad. I just know it’s the best decision for us. For the short term it will be a baby photo central (for me, my family and those who are interested) and in the long term, a memory of this journey. KERF is my passion and what gives me the most work-related joy at the end of the day.



The Hospital Bag

Belly Dancer

Full Term + Full Of Baby


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224 thoughts on “37 Weeks: Expecting The Unexpected–Pregnancy”

  1. Kath,

    As always, you are the best-classy, fun, honest!! And thanks for all you share with us.

    Best of luck the next few weeks!

  2. Totally respect this decision not to be a mommy blogger. Do not understand why people are so critical of how people raise their children, but they are. Not worth it-you’ll have plenty going on and don’t need it. And you look fat??? For heavens sake you’re pregnant!! Some people…

  3. This is the first time I ever comment here but I just want to say that I’m a bit disappointed that you are not going to be a full-time mommy blogger. Just because you inspired me so much with this blog and has shown me pregnancy in a whole different level that I wasn’t used to see. I’m actually not afraid of getting pregnant now. I follow Kerf as well and will continue to do. I just wanted to say thank you for what you wrote here so far, and if you still have in the back of your head that you may want to be a mommy blogger too, I’m here to support and don’t let those comments affect you, they really mean nothing. Do what you have to do for yourself and the baby, not for those people out there. Criticism is very hard to handle but I would assume you are a pro having Kerf for so many years. Trust yourself, you don’t own us anything.

        1. I also agree! i’ve loved reading this, i know i’m like a year later, but i’ve just totally consumed your pages from start to finish over about 4 days, I’m reading a quick post at every opportunity, and its been my bed time reading all week! and i’m now no longer scared of preganancy, i cant wait to read the other posts ahead of this one! thank you a million times for sharing all of this! its been a real pleasure to read! xx

  4. Oh my gosh. Those comments are so incredibly hurtful. I don’t understand why people would take the time to write something silly like that. I understand someone writing a comment to express an alternate opinion..but writing things about your body’s appearance is just sooo over the top. YOU LOOK AMAZING!! I’m sorry BERF wasn’t everything you thought it would be. I enjoyed reading it! And I’m not even remotely close to becoming pregnant.

  5. I’m disappointed you won’t be continuing it but I completely understand why. It’s a shame some people are so rude and insensitive.

    1. Same here. I’m disappointed but I understand. I’m really sorry that some people have treated you so poorly! 🙁

  6. You are totally right with this- it is just the luck of the draw with pregnancy. I feel so blessed to have done as well as I have, I feel generally pretty great. However, I have had a few days where I feel kind of emotional, not crazy emotional, but more emotional than this girl is used to.
    I support your decision to shift your focus back to KERF, I have been saddened by some of the comments that you have received and they would have made me super defensive and sad. I wanted to jump on several times and say ‘didn’t your mom teach you that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’? You’ve handled it all really well. I do want you to know that I have appreciated all that you’ve done on BabyKERF, it has been nice to follow along with your pregnancy as I prepare for my bundle of joy. {hugs}

      1. I just don’t understand why someone would post hurtful comments for such a positive and helpful site. I’m sorry that you had to filter those toxic responses.

        1. I’m guessing it’s a jealousy thing?!?! Why else would people take the time to write hurtful things! I have really, REALLY enjoyed reading BERF! I’m sad you won’t be keeping up a mommy blog, but I do understand. At least we always have KERF 🙂

  7. Very well said momma! Good luck sweetie, enjoy every minute. You guys are going to make wonderful parents. That’s one lucky baby. All the best. 😀

  8. Aww I’ve loved reading BERF as I am a few months behind you in pregnancy but completely understand. I’ve learned a lot from reading your posts. I wish people weren’t so mean on the Internet… If you do change your mind you will have lots of readers! 🙂

  9. I’ve enjoyed reading your BERF posts, and hate that some people are critical under the invisibility of the internet. Wishing you all the best with the little one! : )

  10. I love this post. I personally felt that pregnancy was wonderful and had a harder time adjusting to actually being a mom. Probably because I’m so type -A and planned and NOTHING about being a mom goes according to plan. Ha!

    I also love your honesty in this post. I think you look fabulous and I understand your concerns about being a mommy blogger, but I do hope you reconsider. Even if you don’t, I suspect that things will sneak into KERF because it’s hard to seperate being a mom for just about anything else!

  11. I’m sad you aren’t going to be continuing this blog as I have really enjoyed reading about your journey and was looking forward to reading about your adventure in motherhood.

  12. I haven’t had children yet, so I was fascinated by everything you were going through– but I know the “Mommy club” can (sometimes!) be tough on the not-yet Mommies or soon-to-be Mommies, and they are (sometimes!) quick to tell you YOU’RE WRONG, IT’S NOT GOING TO BE LIKE THAT. Hopefully all of the wonderful, productive insights you were given made it worth your while, and balanced out the less supportive feedback.

    1. This actually reminds me of the Kath’s post (from awhile ago) about “letting her dream”–I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, because it applies to so many parts of life. Is life always easy? No. Is it ever exactly what we dream it will be? No. But the dreaming is fun, and doesn’t hurt anyone or anything, so there’s no harm in it. That was a beautiful post, Kath–just wanted to let you know how often I think of it.

      1. So happy you’re going to share your birth story! I’ve been following BERF since the beginning (as I’m sure other KERF followers have) and cannot wait to meet the little guy and find out the name!!! Best of luck in the next few weeks!

  13. Totally respect your decision! It must be really hard to face unwarranted criticism like that all the time and not get a little bummed at the end of the day. And I definitely agree, I think motherhood is a whole different ball game to blog about, because its just a very sensitive subject in general.

    Curious and I totally mean this in a non-judgmental way –but do you think at a certain point, you wouldn’t feel comfortable putting up pictures of your baby or discussing him in general, I wonder what happens when the kids start to get older and become more aware that their personal life is on a very public blog–and the fact that their childhood was sort of documented on it. I can imagine it could be kinda cool for them that all these people are invested and care about them, but also sort of kinda crazy and perhaps something they wish wasn’t on the internet for all to see…?

    1. I’ve always thought I’d blog about motherhood until my baby was older – perhaps old enough to talk – and then I’d stop. I don’t think I’d want to write about my teenagers sneaking out at night or their performance in school or anything.

  14. Kath,

    I don’t think I’ve commented on here before because I’m more interested in KERF, but I have to say your comments at the end of this post made me feel sad! It’s really upsetting that people would even consider being hateful and critical to you on a blog about your pregnancy journey. I can’t say where I’ve ever even seen room to be critical on this blog. I can imagine it would be so helpful to other expecting mothers to read all about someone else’s experience, good and bad.

    Also, I know I’m just one reader but even though I really have no interest in babies I think BERF is awesome. The fact that you’ve created a whole site for this experience is inspiring to me as a blogger. 🙂


    1. Like Sara, I’m not really interested in babies; I’m a KERF reader who found BERF through that site. Nevertheless, I too have enjoyed reading about your journey here. You have explained your decision clearly and logically, and it is one I respect and admire. Our culture at times continues to define a woman through her relationships rather than her actions, character, and accomplishments, and your approach suggests to me a mindful decision to be a whole person.

  15. I really appreciate your honesty about your BERF blogging experience, and I’m sorry that there are so many people who are mean-spirited instead of constructive. I continue to read BERF because I identify with your experiences (27 weeks here!) and enjoy reading your perspective. That having been said, you DO make money off of this blog, and as I’ve pointed out before it isn’t always from advertising that aligns with what you promote as your values and ethics. Many of us truly do blog for “friends, family, and those who are interested” and do not seek to monetize that endeavor. But in my full-time salaried position I can’t expect my peers and superiors to overlook discrepancies, withhold criticism, and restrain from providing opposing opinions. I do think it rubs some readers the wrong way when you complain about the reactions to your blog and in the next breath gush about it being your career. Ultimately when you’re paid to do something, people want you to do it as well as possible. And again, there’s no excuse for commenters being plain mean, but wishing that you didn’t have to make disclaimers about every post or moderate comments is like saying you wish your job was easier, and really who doesn’t? I don’t think it means you should give up on it! I understand if you feel motherhood calls for some privacy – maybe it does! – but it might be a great challenge for your career and writing to keep trying to strike the right chord with all the comment-crazy preggos and mommies out there and encourage some collaborative conversations. Just some (real) food for thought. 🙂

    1. I would feel differently if my blog required a paid subscription, but it’s free to read so I don’t feel that means people have a right to be rude or snarky. There are very few examples of true constructive criticism on the internet. But I’d consider your politely written comment to be one of them.

      1. Unfortunately people do have a right to be snarky and rude on the internet, but it doesn’t mean they should. I’m not sure I could gracefully react to being told I look fat. I like you and your blogs, but I do notice that the majority of the comments are just fluff and links and I think that there’s room for more than that. I hope I came off as encouraging!

        1. If that’s all you notice about the comments then I think you need to read more of them! There have been tons of thoughtful, helpful and supportive comments on here.

          1. I enjoyed reading your blog Kath and the comments and I am not nor have ever been pregnant. I’m just a social worker who has worked with pregnant teens before. I don’t think the majority of the comments have been fluff. I think many of the comments been interesting with stories about personal experiences and/or recommendations. I also think that there is a difference between constructive criticism and plain just nasty comments which is uncalled for.

          2. Kath, I have to agree with you and say that you include a ton of very informative things in your blog posts. I have, on occasion disagreed with some of your opinions, and ended up either changing mine based on your information, or read your opinion with interest, and continued to disagree with you. To me, that’s the beauty of what you’re doing. You come across as being very honest, and you’ve provided information with which others can do as they choose.
            To your point, nobody is paying to read these posts, and as such, if they don’t like them, they don’t need to continue reading. I don’t understand the nastiness. I thank you for opening up your pregnancy and life for us to read. I am trying to get pregnant at the moment, and your posts have helped me in so many ways.
            I will be very sad to see BabyKerf go, but I am grateful for what you’ve shared so far.

            And shame on the people who have nothing good to say, this blog has been an absolute treat to me.

  16. It makes me sad and mad that you have o see such mean spirited comments on your blog. I wonder what’s wrong with those people that they feel the need to post such things? Must be a sad life for them!! I am a lurker-have been for years-and I wanted you to know that for every mean commenter there are hundreds of us absolutely obsessed with you and your blog! (Not creepy obsessed just good obsessed haha). Best of luck with all things baby and I’m so glad KERF will continue!

  17. I’m so sorry that people have been so rude to you during this time. I’ve really enjoyed reading your BERF posts, it’s been fun going back in your weeks and comparing to what’s going on with me currently (I’m 13 weeks). And umm if you look fat to people right now I don’t even wanna know what they think of me! I could easily pass for 20+ weeks pregnant right now! I think you’ve been doing a fantastic job of staying healthy and active throughout your pregnancy. I’m hoping I can even do half of the healthy things you do on a daily basis. 🙂

    I hope you will still post your birth story b/c I always find those so interesting! Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

  18. I think that’s a great decission, for you, your hubby and for your babe.
    That being said I want to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed reading about your pregtastic adventures, and that I am super happy that you’ve continued on this far despite inconsierate and full out mean comments.

  19. I’m really glad you started this blog! I’m sorry the feedback you’ve gotten hasn’t been all positive…l would you consider closing the comments? Maybe that defeats some of the purpose. Either way, Its great to have followed you along. I’m just starting my second pregnancy and its been really cool to see so far how it has different from my first, and from yours. Your blog has definitley opened up my mind to new ways of looking at things, and has been comforting since you seem to have such a calm and laid back attitiude. That’s not easy for a first pregnancy so I applaud you!

    1. That’s definitely an option, but I do appreciate all the good feedback. It’s also a little bit of a workload concern – I just don’t know if I can maintain both blogs with more than photos. But I’ll just have to see how it goes.

  20. Kath I am really sad for you that BERF hasn’t panned out like you’ve hoped but based on what you said about people writing certain comments, the way that parenthood and motherhood and pregnancy can be filled with such hot button topics even when you don’t think!! they’re going to be, and then bam, you say something and the whole world is breathing down your neck, no – you don’t need that in your life and I’d be doing the same as you. Although I have loved reading about your pregnancy and all the changes and you’ve done such a thorough job of explaining everything (and if I was ever going to be a new mom again, wish I would have had your posts to look at!) but I don’t blame you for wanting to keep things more private. Could write a book but just want to thank you for sharing as freely as you have with the whole web!

  21. Totally understand and respect your decision, though I’m sorry for the reasons behind it! 🙁 People can be so cruel, especially on the internet, and especially concerning parenthood. If we would all just adopt the attitude of “whatever works for you,” things would be a lot better/easier!

    I was already planning to comment on today’s post, because I had a dream last night that you had the baby! (Random, I know. Hope it’s not weird that a reader is dreaming about you!) I dreamed that I was pregnant (I’m not), and going into labor, and that I logged on to BERF to see what was up with you and learned you’d had the baby. Congratulations to Dream Kath & Matt! 😉

      1. On that note (and sorry if you’ve already said this), do you plan to let the blog-o-sphere know when you’re in labor? Like a quick post or tweet like Caitlin did (obviously only if you have the time). It must be so exciting for you to be in the home stretch!

        I think it’s great that you’re doing what’s best for you and your family. Motherhood is certainly a very personal thing. That said, if you’re still sharing stuff before the birth, I think it would be really cool to hear how other people in little Berf’s life are preparing (I know you’ve touched on Matt, but with Karen living so close to you, she must be so excited).

        1. Yes, a blog post and twitter at the very least! I can do both in seconds from my phone, so unless there is an extreme emergency, ill be in touch!

  22. I can’t believe that people are being so cruel commenting, that’s awful. For the record, I think you’ve done a really good job of being objective in your posts, discussing options, and explaining why you’ve made certain choices…not sure how a person could be more reasonable than that?!! It’s too bad that you won’t be continuing with this blog. Shame on the heartless trollers!

  23. The internet (and blogs) would be such a better place if it weren’t for trolls and just flat out judgmental people. It’s a big reason why I don’t blog anymore at all, I got tired of my life being under everyone’s microscope. Good luck to you, I have enjoyed reading this blog 🙂

  24. Kath,
    i admit i adore BERF, but i would do the exact same thing. being a mom i awesome and also very individual and nothing hurts more than somebody judging you and the way you do it. YOU are the momma and i respect you 100% for sticking with KERF (cause really if somebody is mean about your pretty sandwich combo, whatev… 🙂 ) so here’s to a wonderful, sweet, special, and tender time with baby Matt. 😉 you can post 1,000 photos any time, i love it. hugs and enjoy the last couple week, sweetie! You are beautiful! XOXO

  25. I am glad you’re going to post your birth story. I’ve been looking forward to that, too!

    We all know how the internet works. People say mean things and I’m sorry you let that get to you. People tend to criticize in others what they most criticize in themselves, so just remember that every mean comment is not even really about you. I get really defensive about C-sections because I had to have one and feel criticized when people say how awful they are. It still wouldn’t have been my first choice and I understand your views on it. I don’t think everyone is mature enough to separate those feelings. Professional blogging probably requires a pretty thick skin.

  26. Even as a non-pregnant woman, I have really enjoyed your posts on BERF. They are always so informative, and preparative for when I (hopefully) will be pregnant. Thanks for sharing this piece of your life! I’ll be sad to see them go, but definitely respect your decision. Good for you for listening to what will be best for you and your family!

  27. I agree on so many things you mentioned in this post. I wrote something like this a while ago and the biggest surprises to me was how little my eating style has changed, how normal i feel and how slow the weight gain has been for me.


    I’m sad that you will not continue to post about baby once he arrives… because i learn so much from you and from the comments. since we’re just 3 weeks apart, I really follow you religiously. but I understand that you don’t want to be worrying and stressing about negative comments in a moment of life that you will be full with love. But.. please do share your birth story and your breast feeding experiences, things that I’m kind of scared now.

    one quick question: Have you experiencing hemorroid?

  28. I say, good on ya Kath. Being a mother comes with a lot of pressure, both put on by yourself and those around you and it’s not necessary to share that with the world. If you want to, fine, but you don’t have to. The anonymity of the internet makes it verrry easy for people to be judgmental and mean. It’s a trend that needs to change. I choose not to share much about my daughter on my blog. She shows up every now and then because how could she not, she’s my life, but to protect her privacy and my sanity, she is not a focus of my blog. There was a time when I thought I wanted her to be, but I quickly changed my mind. I don’t want to make any money off my child. Parenting involves so many decisions, all that are incredibly personal and you will constantly second guess yourself–you don’t need strangers on the internet making you second guess yourself even more. In my opinion, you are making a fantastic decision for you and your family. Stand by it and be proud.

  29. It really makes me sad that people choose to be negative. This blog is such a happy space, and it really bums me out people choose to post mean comments for no reason at all. I’m so happy for you and Matt, and it’s wonderful to see how genuinely excited you are to become a mom. You look amazing, and honestly, people just suck sometimes.

    It’s a shame BERF wasn’t what you hoped it would be, and it’s a bigger shame that rude people ruined it for the people who really do want to read.

    Just know you are beautiful, and you are about to enter such an exciting time in your life. Parenthood is a personal time, and you need to do what’s best for your family. I so hope you enjoy the last few weeks before your amazing baby comes along. 🙂

  30. First time commenter on here (in fact I read the blog through Google Reader, so never see any comments), but just wanted to say that I’ve enjoyed reading BERF – I like the fact that it’s a daily pregnancy blog, and so you also get to ready about the day-to-day things as well as the larger milestones – kept it feeling real. 🙂

  31. I was surprised, too, at how long it took me to look really pregnant! Definitely a big surprise. I completely respect your decision to not join the mommy blogging bandwagon. It’s such a shame people are so judgmental about parenting and I’m sorry you haven’t felt you could be wholly open with your feelings here. This is YOUR blog; YOUR safe place. I look forward to seeing pics of baby Y-M.

  32. I don’t think I’ve ever commented, but I’ve been a faithful reader for a while and just wanted to say THANK YOU for sharing your experiences. I’m sure it hasn’t been easy, but as someone who is hoping to start a family in the (somewhat) near future, I have greatly appreciated your honest thoughts throughout your pregnancy. It has been interesting to follow, and I can truly say I have looked forward to reading about your journey. I’m sad that BERF won’t continue, but I completely understand your need for privacy for you and your family. I don’t understand how people could be so cruel when you’re documenting such a beautiful time in your life, but I think it’s easy for people to be judgmental with the anonymity provided by the internet. Thank you again for sharing this time in your life, and best of luck with your little one! You’re going to be an amazing mom.

  33. Once again you have been so honest on this blog about your experience with pregnancy which I really admire. I wish that people who don’t like what you have posted would just stop reading and sending in nasty comments. Pregnancy, like everything in life, is different for everyone. If people can’t relate or don’t like what you have to say they can go find another blog that is a better fit. While I do understand and respect your decision not to continue once Baby arrives I’ll miss it. I am married but not pregnant and I know when the time does come for me I will go back and read your blog from the beginning to help prepare for what is to come. You have a very practical, thoughtful and thorough way of approaching things which I like and find very helpful. I’ll miss reading about how you adjust to your new addition. I hope the last 2+ weeks of your pregnancy continues to go well.

  34. Hi Kath,
    I know I’d struggle to be as open as you are with us. I really appreciate reading your controversial posts although I can only imagine the emotional toll they may take on you. And the daily nasty comments that I never see–you are strong to make it through all of this. I imagine that this makes your core values more understood to yourself and that you will be able to pass that on your family. Thank you for all that have written, it has been quite enlightening to me.

  35. Kath,

    It is so sad to hear that people are so rude and mean. Nothing is making them read your blog and there are a lot of more important things for them to worry about than your opinion of what YOU want to do with YOUR pregnancy/baby/life. It’s just sad that some people are like that. I have truly LOVED reading about your pregnancy and your approach to it all. I am 22 weeks with my first and it’s been so helpful to read your experiences and has helped me prepare. Thank you for that and good luck with your last couple of weeks. I will continue to be a loyal reader of both KERF and BERF as long as you are writing.

  36. I have loved reading BERF and I can’t even imagine how much work it has been coming up with stuff to write about every single day!! But I have definitely appreciated all of your posts, they’ve taught me a lot and I’m sure they’ve been helpful to thousands of people…. I can’t wait for your little man to come! Good luck!

  37. I’m glad you have been able to come to such a realization. It’s always hard when you find that something you were invested in hasn’t gone like you thought it would. That being said, thanks for sharing what you have shared thus far. And I’ve noticed that more people are interested in the baby photos than the advice, right? Best wishes as you enjoy the last few weeks of pregnancy!

  38. When posting photos & stories about one’s baby, I think it’s best to err on the safe side…too many critics and creeps out there (especially when it is well known where you live, work, etc). For years, I never even divulged the name of my kid online or any telling details about our whereabouts. I’m sure this comes off as a bit alarmist/paranoid, but there needs to be consideration about safety & privacy about anything we put out there when it comes to our children and families.
    Just be careful, that’s all 🙂

  39. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been receiving negative comments and BERF hasn’t been the experience you hoped for. I have loved reading BERF and I want to thank you – so much! – for sharing your pregnancy experience. 🙂

  40. This was probably one of my top favorite posts that you’ve written here on BERF. I really enjoyed reading all of your surprises that have come throughout pregnancy for you. I have also loved this blog and read it each and everyday. It’s taught me a ton for when it’s time for us to have a baby! I totally respect and understand your decision for not continuing on BERF as a mommy blog though.

  41. This was a great post!

    And I’m sorry you had to deal with such negativity. You look wonderful, and I wish you all the best for an easily delivery!

  42. I have followed KERF for a few years, and BERF since you began it. By the time BERF started, I was already hooked on KERF for the nutritional information and gorgeous pictures. BERF has been so fun to follow, and I can feel the growing excitment as the big day gets closer. Only a matter of days! I have never commented before, but wanted to thank you for sharing so generously your personal journey through pregnancy, and so much of your life otherwise. Totally understand and respect your decision to restructure how and what you blog about. This is your business – as in, it’s nobody else’s business what you do. Best wishes to you as you make the transition from now into motherhood, and the busy days that follow.

  43. Thanks for your honesty Kath! I just can’t believe someone would have the nerve to say that you look fat. You are such a beautiful pregnant mama! and I believe that all women look so beautiful when they are carrying a new life. Good luck in these last few weeks!

  44. I have been reading both of your blogs for several months, but this is my first time commenting. I am currently 22 weeks into my first pregnancy, and BERF has been an incredible resource to me. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your honesty about even the “touchy” subjects. While I might not be approaching my pregnancy or birth plan exactly the way you are, I respect your choices and your right to discuss them. DO NOT let those haters out there get you down! It is a sad commentary about our times (and about women, especially), that some of us derive such pleasure from putting others down. What an empty life they must lead. They really deserve our pity, rather than our anger.

    I am a fellow C-viller (I actually teach at CHS) and will also be delivering at Martha Jefferson. I am looking forward to reading all about your birth story when the time comes! Keep on being who you are – there are many of us who are grateful for it! XOXO

    1. I’m 31 weeks and in Cville, delivering at MJ, too! I was going to say that I’m sad Kath won’t be continuing, too – though I TOTALLY understand. Beyond the mean comments, there is also what I imagine would be a tremendous workload between managing 2 full-time blogs, a bakery, and a baby. But this has been my favorite pregnancy blog ever because it’s included so much that helpful and interesting to me from a local perspective. I wonder if there’s a way we could do a Cville BERF readers meetup sometime? It would be cool to meet some of the other locals!

        1. I’m also a cville mom-to-be, 37 weeks 2 days, delivering at MJH. Maybe we’ll run into each other in L&D! I’m hoping to deliver on my due date, Sept. 8, but we’ll see what this little guy has in store!

  45. I’m sure you will find a great balance Kath. I will miss BERF, but you are such a pro.–classy and professional, the right level of ‘baby share’ will just be. 🙂 Good luck! So excited for you.

  46. I’ve noticed that childrearing is one of those things that everyone has strong opinions on – parents, of course, because they have experience, and nonparents like me, because we think we remember our own upbringing! Pregnancy must be like that too.

  47. I just wanted to say how much I’ve enjoyed Baby Kerf. I’m due just a couple of weeks after you and it’s been so fun to hear about your experience as I go through mine and also to get some of the great tips and tricks you’ve posted. I think you look amazing and your attitude throughout has been phenomenal. Thank you for letting us into your pregnancy world! I echo a lot of the previous commenters here in saying that the haters’ issues are more about them than you and that we all feel lucky to be invited into your life through Baby Kerf and Kerf.

    Best of luck with the final few weeks!

  48. Thank you so much for sharing your pregnancy experience with us. Reading every day makes me wish I had documented my three pregnancies. They were all so different and unique. I don’t think I’ll understand people who are mean on purpose. They must not be happy people, have no manners, and wish their lives were different so they lash out at others. To criticize anyone for their own thoughts and ways of doing something is so wrong and unnecessary. No wonder we have so many problems in the world. I wish you, Matt, and BERF all the best with the upcoming delivery and beyond.

  49. Kath, Congrats on making a big decision! Will the blogs on BERF still be accessible after you stop blogging? Will there still be a link to the posts from KERF? I just know I’d love to look back on your experiences when it’s my turn.

    Also, I saw one commenter say she had a dream that you had your baby. I did too. Maybe another green light to close up BERF, cause that’s just weird man! 😉

    Wishing you and Matt the best!

  50. Kath,
    Sorry to hear that you haven’t had a great experience with BERF. I’m a longtime KERF reader (4+ years!) and have come to feel like I sort of know you (is there any way to say that without sounding creepy?!?!). Anyway, we have a lot of things in common – being from NC, got married around the same time, and when you announced your pregnancy I had a total jealous twinge. I was totally THAT girl who felt envy when her “friend” got pregnant first. Lo and behold within a few months I was pregnant myself! From the beginning I’ve followed BERF and I’ve learned a lot from your experience. And now I find myself going back and re-reading the posts that correspond with my current week. I’m really sorry that you’ve received mean comments. I literally cannot imagine someone telling me I look fat right now. I’m sure you have lots of practice letting things roll off your back but still!

    Anyway, I don’t always agree with you and sometimes you get on my nerves but I think that’s what keeps me coming back. You’re a real person being honest about your experience and you put a lot of yourself out there! I totally understand your desire to pull back once the baby is here. I think your protective mama instincts are coming out! I did hope to learn more from you especially re: breastfeeding and cloth diapers. I know there are a million blogs out there to read but like I said, yours feels like advice from a friend.

    Just know that for any mean comments you get there are plenty of us who respect and enjoy your perspective!

  51. It’s probably best not to continue to subject yourself to more criticism. If you think the comments you get during pregancy are bad, just wait until the baby is here and people start criticizing your parenting and whatnot….or worse, making rude/snarky comments about your baby. That’s something I wouldn’t be able to deal with.

    Plus, it’s nice to have a little privacy when it comes to your children, and I’m sure we’ll see plenty of pictures and hear about the wee one in your daily activities over on KERF. And, you’re not going to want the extra work. You’ll want to spend a lot of time with the baby, especially when he starts to become more aware, can play, and start babbling.

  52. Love this post! Love this whole blog- even if I wasn’t pregnant at the same time I’d love it, but I have found it wonderfully helpful as I’ve experienced a similar pregnancy to yours and it’s been neat to read the ‘foreshadowing’ since you are 10 weeks ahead of me!
    I will admit I’m a bit sad that the blog won’t continue, but I definately get the fact that putting it all out there online isn’t as easy as some may think it is and having to moderate the nasty comments must get to you at times…some people need a high five. in the face. with a chair.!
    Anyway, glad to read in the comments that you will still post your birth story (so excited for that!!) and that we’ll get to see pics of the little man!
    I hope KERF never goes away, I can’t imagine not having your beautiful writing to read every morning/noon/evening!

  53. Thank so much for your honesty! I am a faithful (every single entry) reader of both blogs. Just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate what you have shared on this blog. I learn just as much from your comments back to those who comment as I do from the entries themselves. My husband has been ready for babies since we got married three years ago and I am finally coming around. This blog has been so eye opening, encouraging, and fun! You have really helped me on my journey toward kids even without having one on the way(yet)! Thanks so much for all you do.

  54. I think all rude comments are horrible. Not too many people read my blog and those that comment are always super nice, so I haven’t really had to deal with people leaving rude blog comments (thank goodness). However, I’ve had my fair share of rude real-life comments! My “lovely” co-workers have said that I look as big as a house, constantly ask if I am having twins, and open their eyes really large every time they see me on Monday (like I’ve grown ten inches in two days). I am not sure why people these days feel so entitled to comment/critique/criticize pregnancy, motherhood, etc. I’m so sorry that you’ve gotten so many nasty comments. I’ve really enjoyed following your blog since I am almost the same number of weeks you are (I am 37 weeks on Saturday) and I’d love to hear about all things motherhood from you too. Pictures will suffice though! Good luck with everything and I can’t wait to read your birth story.

  55. Don’t you also receive criticism on KERF? I think it’s just a part of blogging to have to field those types of comments. People aren’t going to change so there will always be criticism and downright nastiness alongside the good stuff. I mean definitely do what feels right, but this blog entry also just kinda gives the feeling of “people are mean and I’m running away.” Not trying to be critical with my comment, but sometimes it’s hard over the internet. It would be a shame to not read how the rest of motherhood goes for you having read all the details of pregnancy

    1. food and pregnancy are TOTALLY different, both in critique style and my emotional response. I think motherhood would be even worse. this is just a personal decision for my sanity.

      1. Kath, I appreciate and understand your decision as well. However, I do think that of all the bloggers I read – healthy living, foodie, mommy, lifestyle, wedding, etc., you seem to be ultra sensitive to criticism. Or perhaps you just get more hateful comments. Either way, I would imagine it’s a chance to look inward as well. Sure, we can’t judge ourselves on what others say and think, but in the right light, it’s sometimes helpful in growing and learning as a person. And, no, this is not a “mean” comment – just a reflective one. Good luck with the delivery and enjoy the moments the best you can!

  56. I’m sorry that people are so insensitive. There are mean people everywhere, but I think the anonymity of the Internet allows some people to say things they would never say otherwise. I’m sorry you have been a victim of this. I admire your professionalism and respect your need to keep certain aspects of your life private. You seem like a nice person. I hope that enough positive has made it through for you to know that the stupid, weird, creepy, hateful, mean people are in the minority. Don’t give those people power over you. Have a good day and a good life in spite of them.

  57. For what it’s worth: I’ve always thought your pregnancy journey has been beautiful! Pregnancy is a loooooooonnnnngggg way off for this 22-year-old, but reading BERF has made me so excited for that part of my future! I never read the comments on this blog, but regardless of what others say, it seems to me like you have been having so much fun as an expectant mother. I have no doubt that you’re going to be a wonderful mom, and even if you chose to not share your thoughts on cloth diapering (which, kudos for making that choice…that’s amazing) I’m really looking forward to reading about your new life as a mama on KERF.

    And no matter what, the baby’s gonna have the most adorable nursery ever. No way to not be happy in that space. 🙂

  58. Mommybloggin, I think, must be the hardest “niche” to not only break into as a new blogger, but also the one that requires the most emotional committment. EVERYONE has an opinion about how one should parent his/her child(ren). As with all blogging, I suppose it’s about what you expose, and it’s our right to decide how much to reveal.

    I started reading KERF in 2008, when I was in the process of loosing 35 pounds. I found it helpful and relatable. Now that I am a new mom, I find this blog relatable, and honestly read KERF out of habit. So, I wish you were transitioning into mommyblogging, for my own selfish reasons!

    I’ve never had a “successful” blog, so I’ve never dealt with negative comments, but I wish that you could have been MORE honest with this blog. I think the internet needs more honesty surrounding women’s issues. I also, agree with a previous commenter, some times it seems like healthy living blogs are filled with fluff comments, I like that this blog has real comments, with opinions and helpful suggestions in them.

    Ok, this comment is getting sort of rambling. Short version; keep BERF! 🙂 But, lets me honest, keeping up two full-time blogs with an infant, would be damn near impossible.

  59. I was surprised at how long it took me to show, too!! I was about like you, honestly, didn’t actually look for SURE pregnant until the 3rd tri, and not really big until like 34 weeks. I would like to flatter myself and say it’s because before I got preg I was quite fit with good stomach muscles, but I know plenty of fit gals who pop right out 🙂

  60. Kath,
    As I sit here and eat my banana whipped oats, I want you to know – You’re an amazing woman, my sister and I are addicted to your wonderful life and way of living. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t read your blog and try to implement your great attitude in my daily life, you’re an inspiration!!
    Thank you for sharing as much as you do with us, you and Matt are going to make the best parents to the little one!
    Best of luck the next few weeks, I can’t wait for the day (coming soon!!) when I open up your blog and see the post “In Labour!!”

  61. Good for you for doing what’s best for you and your family.

    I have enjoyed this blog as well as KERF but as I have told you, commenters have even been rude to me so I can only imagine what you go through!

    I hope you share at least some of your birth story though! I feel like I have been on this journey with you.

    Interesting reflections on pregnancy so far. All 3 of mine have been completely different experiences, from looking/feeling great to uncontrollable nausea for the entire pregnancy as well as bedrest etc. Aren’t our bodies amazing?! In the end I got my 3 healthy babies just the same.

  62. As a non-mother I really enjoyed BERF. As much as I have enjoyed the blog, I’m secretly glad that it won’t turn into a mommy blog, I hope you have less work and more time with the new baby when you only have to write KERF. And take a few days, or more, off when the baby comes. We’re a loyal bunch and won’t expect three posts a day.

    Thanks for sharing your pregnancy with us.

  63. Firstly, I can’t BELIEVE people who are mean on the internet. It’s just inexcusable.

    Secondly, it’s funny how similar our pregnancy experiences are. So many of your points here are exactly what I felt. Oh and you look incredibly beautiful in that color of blue.

    My blog turned very much into a motherhood blog when I had my first but like you, felt like putting my parenting methods or tactics out there for everyone to critic sounded stressful and not cool. So I basically just put photos, and talk, in a positive light about all the good stuff of motherhood. I love that I can look at photos and see benchmarks but don’t have to deal with all the people who are just out there to make us feel like crap.

  64. I can understand why you do not want to become a mommy blogger, but it sure does make me sad because I have really enjoyed all of your BERF posts!:)

  65. I’m glad you wrote that last part. I was excited to follow your journey as I just had a little girl in June, but honestly I getting a bit frustrated at how you seemed to put disclaimers on everything. Be the mommy you want to be and have your opinions about motherhood! I think more women need to hear and see mommies who are dedicated to have a natural birth and give their babies a drug-free start, and who are determined to breastfeed (and give their little ones such a gift of health right from the start). I’m proud of the decisions you’ve made and that you’ve shared them, and just be proud of all the hard work you are doing for your little one!!!! Your mind is your greatest tool in childbirth, and will be a great mommy.

  66. Hi Kath,

    Thank you for sharing your journey. I have learned SO much from you and hope one day I am a happy, healthy, pregnant lady like you. I am so sorry people have been critical, rude, and downright mean. You get all my support while you continue to do what is best for you and your family. To balance out all the negative – I think you will be a terrific mamma and blogger!

    Good luck!

  67. I’m going to reiterate what others here have said… Basically, I’m disappointed in humanity (or at least some of them) who kind of ruin it for the rest of us. Don’t get me wrong, I love KERF, but honestly, every morning when I come to read KERF, I’m a bit more excited to see what you’ve posted here. Might have something to do with when you found out you were prego, I was going through fertility treatments, and it always gave me hope when I heard about someone else’s pregnancy. And then I found out we were expecting, and you’re a few months ahead of me, so I could use your good advice, experiences, ideas, etc. FWIW, every time I see a picture of you, I see a strong mama. I started my prego blog the day I found out I was pregnant, and probably have posted a max of 5 times. I admire your stamina, and look forward to any posts on BERF, even if they are just pics…

  68. I am planning to write a post like this at the end of my pregnancy – so many things are not what I thought they’d be. It’s funny how so many things are considered “normal pregnancy symptoms,” but we are all so different that every pregnancy is different and even the abnormal that you’ve never read about or heard about is normal. Mind bending.

    I’m bummed you won’t be continuing BERF, but I totally understand your reasons. I never thought pregnancy and child-rearing would be such a hot button issue until I got pregnant and all of the judgement and “advice” started rolling in. It is really frustrating not being able to just TALK about our experiences without fear of judgement. It is as bad as political and religious debates/judgements in some respects, at some times even worse!

  69. Kath, just wanted to say THANK YOU for writing your blog. I am thinking about TTC next year and I have looked forward to your BERF posts every day. Even more so than your KERF posts! It has been a joy to see you document your pregnancy. I’m sad you won’t be continuing it, but I totally understand. Wishing you and Matt the best as you get down to your final few weeks!!!

  70. Kath,

    Thanks for sharing your pregnancy with the blog world! I think it’s very brave and honest of you, but I completely understand your decision to stop. While I am nowhere near pregnancy in my own life yet, I have always been fascinated by it and in-love with the idea of being a mother one day. That being said, I have learned so much from this blog and looked forward to a new post every day 🙂

    Best of luck in the coming weeks! I cannot wait to read your birth story, and I hope you take time to sit back, relax, and enjoy your new life with your baby, away from the blog 🙂

  71. I don’t think I’ve ever commented on any blog before, but I just felt the need to tell you that I’ve really been enjoying yours! I’m 40 weeks + 1 day today and it’s been so great to hear the experiences of someone at such a similar pregnancy stage. I’ve never been able to figure out why people can be so mean on the Internet. Don’t let it get you down. Good luck no matter what you decide to do!

  72. Kath,

    I honor and affirm your desires to keep BERF more private and not continue as you originally thought. As you become a parent (I have 3 boys!), those special moments are things you want to cherish as a new family, and not necessarily manage/interpret with the world. Sometimes it is in things not said and shared on a public stage that resonate far greater. Blessings to you and your sweet one.

  73. Kath,

    I am so glad to have been able to read through your pregnancy journey. Although I did not blog my pregnancy, I understand that women are extremely overly opinionated and feel the need to tell pregnant moms exactly what they need to do. I was NOT ready for mommyhood and was scared, but what I want to assure you is you will know exactly what your son needs and will provide best for him. While reading and educating yourself in advance is helpful, trust your instincts. They are better than you give them credit for, especially in the early days when you get easily overwhelmed. I’ve always loved KERF and will continue to follow your work. You’ve been such a great inspiration to me!



  74. I have truly appreciated all of your BERF posts. I can’t believe that people would write such mean comments. I have loved all of your posts and hope to use them as a reference in the future when I go down the baby journey. Thank you for all of your research, photos, and opening up. I really enjoy reading your blog! Thanks!

  75. I’ve loved all the baby posts! It’s sad to know some people have made mean spirited comments. Who knows what’s wrong with those individuals… I’m sad to hear you won’t be posting too much about parenting (I would really enjoy what you write, I’m sure!) but glad that you are aware what will be best for you and your family.

  76. Hi Kath –

    I just wanted to say thank you, so much, for this post and for the blog. I found your blog when I was in the throes of pretty bad morning sickness and not super happy. Ever since, I look forward to the post every day. I said this one other time on here but it seems our pregnancies have been eerily similar from due dates (I’m about one week after you) to exercise and preparations to thoughts/feelings. I haven’t done a great job documenting my pregnancy – started a journal and then never kept it up – but I feel like since so much of what you’ve said is how I feel it’s kept me enjoying the pregnancy and kept it normal along with providing me a way for me to look back and remember the time. The list from today’s post is spot on.

    What you have given so many women through this blog is a gift. I’m so sorry that it hasn’t been what you thought it would be but know that through all the crummy comments you’ve managed to help a lot of people unknowingly. While I totally respect your decision not to transition this to a mommy blog I’m bummed to not get the same level of reassurance when I’m feeling a bit spastic this fall. I am excited to start following KERF more regularly.

    Best of luck to you and Matt!

  77. I rarely if ever comment on blogs. But i love both your blogs and cannot deny that I am disappointed to hear the news of you ending BERF, but in the same sense, understand & respect your reasoning behind it. I am surprised how hurtful people can be, as there is absolutely no justification for it. My husband and I are getting ready to start trying, and reading your pregnancy posts have been so informative and exciting. I look forward to hearing the good news in the upcoming weeks! And as far as the haters out there they are clearly unhappy in their own lives and feel the need to project their negative feelings on to you. You have a real go-getter type personality (I wish i had more of that-I would surely get more things knocked off my endless to-do list!), and have wonderful & supportive husband, large supportive family & friends (real & “virtual”),and are a successful business owner, that has wonderful interior design/style…can you please come decorate my home in Chicago 🙂 and your about to welcome a beautiful new addition into your lives and start a whole new journey! Congrats to you and good luck!

  78. It makes me a bit sad that you won’d be continuing BERF. So many of us have read this blog daily and kind of been with you through this pregnancy that it will be a let down not to hear about motherhood. I completely understand though. If people are awful enough to call a pregnant woman fat (wtf?) then they will be awful enough to insult your baby (sad but true) and your way of parenting.

    I can’t wait for the birth story though. I have always loved birth stories!

  79. I think that you’re making a good decision. Some of the comments I’ve seen on this blog the past six months have been rude and atrocious. One thing to disagree, another to just be…well, rude and patronizing. From what I’ve seen (and experienced, I’m a mom and pregnant) it only gets worse once you actually become a mom. That’s really sad–but, for now, the way it is. It’s so frustrating not to be able to share honest experiences and emotions in an open forum without getting ripped apart. That’s what we need as women and moms, and we just can’t seem to let ourselves have it. (/soapbox ;))

    That said, I wish you luck, happiness and health in your delivery and life with a new child. It truly is a great adventure, and hopefully without the stress drain of the blog you’ll be able to enjoy it (and explore your choices) more fully and authentically.

  80. I think it’s rude that people even write those comments! Even if I had something negative to say on someone’s blog, I wouldn’t. Sorry you had to deal with those sort of things!

    I’m glad you made the comment about being small until almost 30 weeks, because I’m at 27 tomorrow and feel really small somedays and worry that maybe I’m doing something wrong! I just *think* I carry small – plain and simple. Well you look good, and I’m glad the bump isn’t as heavy as you would have thought!!

  81. You are honestly one of my favorite bloggers. I enjoy reading about your day to day life even thought it is much different than mine. I guess I will never understand what motivates the people who write rude comments. I’m an early childhood major and spend a lot of time with kids and it always strikes me as ironic that I spend so much time teaching children about being respectful to others when manners seems to go out the window come adulthood.
    I’ve really enjoyed taking a peek inside your pregnancy and wish you the best of luck, especially with these next few weeks. BTW, your blog is the reason I was excited when my boyfriend got a job in Charlottesville! I had already seen a lot of fun things to do/places to eat and knew it would be a great fit for him/us!

  82. First time poster, long time stalker — just wanted to let you know that I am in my 35th week, and I have looked forward to every single one of your BERF posts. They’re the highlight of my RSS feed! It’s like we’ve been going through this together! And you’ve both given and received such helpful advice. I wish more of the positive comments made their way through, but that’s the nature of man, I guess.

  83. Kath

    THANK YOU for opening your home, heart and family to all of us readers. I am actually sitting here with tears in my eyes because I too am upset at people and particularly women. We are supposed to be supportive of one another and encouraging. In the words of Stephanie Tanner ” HOW RUDE!”

    I am TTC and your blog is my bible. It has helped my husband and I be able to talk about pregnancy and me being able to share information and links both you and your readers have suggested.

    I too am sad but fully supportive of your decision. It is tough to put yourself out there and I think we ALL appreciate everything you have poured into this blog. I actually really kinda love this as it makes me feel that you are a good “mama bear” to your little angel and are already protecting him and yourself and Matt.

    Wishing you truly just the most wonderful and happy thoughts and best of luck! See you at KERF!!

  84. I can’t believe its been 9 months! Insanity! Can’t wait to finally see the little guy! It’s sad that people feel the need to critiscize so harshly. Have you experienced the same level of rude comments on Kerf? I can’t wait to find out the name XD

  85. I totally understand your decision to quit this blog after the baby is born (if I understood that right). As a mom of a 6 week old I was weary to even put FaceBook pictures of her online for fear of what people would really think (not that it really matters, but I was just protective I guess). Even people commenting that she was a small baby at birth bothered me, crazy hormones maybe – but still! Best of luck, I’ve enjoyed all your posts 🙂

  86. You are such a sweetheart, Kath. Really and truly, you are. I’m saddened to hear that people have been ding-dongs when it comes to callous comments and, though I am sooo sad BERF won’t become a full-time mommy blog, I can CERTAINLY understand you don’t want to open yourself up to that kind of daily criticism and negativity. I would choose not to either.

    But just so you know, there ARE readers who think you are an awesome, genuine, positive chica, and appreciate you for it! 🙂 Keep on maintaining your bright, positive attitude – don’t let others steal your joy! xo

  87. I wanted to say thank you for starting this blog. I stumbled upon it while researching Belli skincare and have been reading ever since. I am six weeks behind you in my pregnancy and feel like when I read your posts I am getting advice from a great friend I have never met! I am so sorry there has been so much negative feedback. I was just showing my mom the other day some negative comments and telling her how I couldn’t believe people would actually write that. I have found your posts to be so informative and comforting. I really used you as my first step into researching different things about my pregnancy and being a stepping stone to ask questions. I feel like you have pushed me (in the most positive way) to be informed about my pregnancy and to make it the best experience. THANK YOU!!!

  88. Pregnancy & child-rearing can be touchy subjects with some people.

    I think you have done a great job with this blog! You brought up topics that I never knew about, & enlightened me. There is a lot of great information on this blog, & you should be proud that you are the author behind it!

    And I am glad to have experienced pregnancy the same time you did, because I learned quite a big from your posts. So, for that, thank you, Kath!


  89. My husband and I are currently ttc our third. My last pregnancy was five years ago and I have forgotten so much about pregnancy. Your blog has inspired me to start my own, to document a time in life that you only get to experience a few times. Enjoy your baby. They grow up so fast!

  90. Love this post. But agreed on controversy with mommy-blogging. I like it, but sometimes it’s so draining. And you do have to tread lightly. Anyway, I am really excited to look at baby photos. You’re making me so nostalgic for pregnancy, and I never thought that would be possible!

  91. I’m a little sorry to hear that BERF will not be full time like KERF. To be honest, I found out I was infertile years ago and it is sometimes a sore spot for me. I have felt more like BERF was sort of like me learning what being pregnant was all about (what I am missing out on). It helped me desensitize a little bit, and to live through you a tiny bit as well. I understand people can be mean, but you cannot always win them all 🙂

  92. I am so sorry that you have to deal with that crap. I was really angry for you when I read the latter part of this post. One thing that helps me (and take it with a grain of salt, because everyone is different) is that if someone is straight up a jerk, their life must be really miserable and I feel sorry for them.

    HUGS Kath! You three (plus bears) deserve the best! And I think you have done a lovely job with the blog and I wish you would continue it! Ever thought about removing comments completely?

  93. I have to agree with the rest of the comments. I have truly enjoyed reading BERF since I have never been pregnant. It’s sad that the negative people and comments have influenced your decision because it feels like then they win. But I completely understand why you made the decision to not keep up BERF. I don’t know how bloggers do it. I could never deal with some of the mean and rude comments. It’s bullying, just cyber bullying, and for some reason people think it’s ok to say things online that they’d never have the nerve to say face-to-face. I definitely want to read the birth story, and I hope you keep us updated on mini KERF and his progress, from time to time. I have learned a lot from this blog, and I agree with some of the other commenters. I no longer fear pregnancy nearly as much as I did before you started this blog. I hope you know how much you’ve helped people by sharing your experience and advice. I think you’ve affected people more than you know, both from BERF and KERF. Love you even though I don’t “know” you!

  94. I’m sorry that people can be so cruel and I applaud you for having such a thick skin! Well – I just want to say that I have REALLY enjoyed reading BERF and following you through your pregnancy. : ) : ) PS. You look fabulous! : )

  95. Ohhhhhh no no no NOOOOO! Kath i absolutely LOVE BERF! I can’t tell you how much I look forward to your posts. Not to make you feel better or maybe reconsider??? But I am a pediatrician with almost 12 years in the biz , 21 weeks preggers and have learned so much from you! Anyways, every post was done with grace, respect and provided readers with good info. Just wanted to get it off my chest: be proud of yourself. You have been an inspiration for many women out there. Good luck and keep up those positive thoughts!!!!

  96. I rarely comment, but I have to say it’s quite disappointing that people would be so rude and comment on your weight or your personal views on pregnancy/motherhood. I love KERF and I’ve especially loved BERF because I’ve been reading since you announced your pregnancy. I’m 34 weeks pregnant today with a little boy and seem to have had a super similar pregnancy experience as you. I think the amount of physical activity and positive attitude helps!
    If you continue to post pics and bring up topics/questions just know you’ll always have a dedicated reader in myself! Congratulations…I sure hope you’ll post your birth story. I’ll love any advice because I’ll go soon after!

  97. I have to agree that I am so shocked at what some people will say!! I have been reading KERF since you were featured in the local newspaper “food” section (I live in Gordonsville), and have followed BERF since you started it. I love both of your blogs and read them daily. I actually saw you and Matt in the doctors office waiting room on Tuesday and felt like I had just seen a celebrity!!! 🙂 I didn’t want to bother you guys so didn’t say anything. Glad you will be posting your birth story, as I too am quite obsessed with them (I have 3 kids). Thank you for such an informative blog!! 🙂 🙂

  98. I don’t blame you at all for not continuing BERF. I continue to be amazed, confused, and sometimes disturbed by people’s online behavior… how most folks seem to be perfectly comfortable saying things to a real person online that they would never in a million years say to anybody’s (probably even their worst enemy’s) face. I love all the great, free content on blogs – recipes, food prep tips, childrearing notions, etc. — but often wonder how/why anybody would choose to live so publicly. I suppose some people love the “celebrity”? I’m sure some do it because they’re passionate about what they’re sharing. But for someone as private as me it just seems like there’s too much negative energy out there in the Interweb to balance the positive one could get from blogging. I.e. What’s the point of sharing your art with an angry, abusive hoard? I guess that puts me on the disappointed with humanity side another poster spoke of.
    Anyway, I really just wanted to say thanks because I’ve enjoyed following along with your pregnancy from home, and I use KERF as inspiration to eat healthier. It has seemed like you’re withdrawing a bit from sharing so much on KERF since becoming pregnant too. Maybe I’m reading you wrong, but I can totally respect that if it’s the case. Pregnancy (and late pregnancy in particular) was a very inward time for me, and I found I needed a bit more space… not that I was grumpy, just that I didn’t want to have anybody else’s negative or judgmental or inspecting energy around me… I just wanted to surround myself with peaceful, good vibes. I imagine that’s hard living on the internet. And I can only imagine it would be even harder as a mom, when there’s somebody ready to tell you you’re doing every little, tiny thing wrong — baby has reflux? You must be holding her/feeding her/whatever wrong… baby won’t sleep? You must be doing something wrong cause “all my babies…” blah, blah, blah. Not just online, but in life, I’m often disappointed that people aren’t more generally encouraging and accepting of others who are clearly doing/parenting/living their absolute best.

    Glad to see you doing what’s best for you and your little family.

    1. I think it’s not just pregnancy, but the older I get the more I want to be surrounded by the peaceful, good vibes. There’s just no need to waste emotional energy on anything less.

      1. Amen to this! I feel the same way. There’s something powerful about recognizing something that’s toxic in your life and realizing, I don’t need to deal with that. It’s freeing.

        Thank you for all of the thoughtful, informative posts. I’ve really enjoyed reading, as someone who is starting to get the baby itch. I wish you all the best during labor and delivery and can’t wait to hear your story.

  99. This blog is awesome and so are you! Thanks for sharing so much of your journey! Reading your daily posts is always interesting and I can’t wait to hear about your birth and to keep reading KERF!

  100. Kath,

    Thank you for sharing your pregnancy experience through your blog. I am a few months behind you and have greatly appreciated reading about your experiences. Your posts give me a different perspective and have helped me research things I might not have known about otherwise. This has been such a nice way for me to know what other pregnancies are like (especially since I am a first timer too!). I wish you the best of luck with your delivery.

  101. I’ve never commented on a blog before, but I just want to say that as a single woman with no baby plans in the near future, I have absolutely loved BERF, much more so than your food blog. It’s so interesting and I have loved following your journey. I would LOVE for you to continue it and echo others who have suggested turning off comments. Sorry for the jerks who have felt the need to criticize you. Who says mean things on a pregnancy blog, for goodness sake? Ugh. People are unbelievable sometimes! Best of luck and can’t wait to read the birth story and HOPEFULLY more on your new life as a mom (with comments turned off). 🙂

  102. It amazes me how cavalier and cruel people can be, and how easily people fly off the handle for no reason other than maybe they disagree with your opinion. (I’m pretty sure that’s why they’re called “opinions.”) Try not to take these morons to heart – they don’t know anything about what your pregnancy is like. I hope that you will continue this blog, but I understand if you elect to keep this part of your life more private.

  103. I can’t believe some people are so rude. I love reading BERF (and KERF). As a mother of a 2 1/2 year old, it makes me wish I would have documented/spent more time enjoying pregnancy;-) We have a very different approach to pregnancy/birthing plan, etc but never once would have have posted a rude comment–it opened my eyes to new approaches and things to consider if I do have more children…so thank you for putting all the time, emotion and thoughts into your posts they were much appreciated!!!

  104. Also, just in case you ever want a “mommy laugh,” check out the blog Scary Mommy. You may have done this already, but it’s consistently funny and occasionally touching. The author also is incredibly honest about the difficulties of motherhood, and she’s managed to create a community where it’s OK to talk about your failures as a parent as much as your successes. Along those same lines, another great blog written by a mom is My Suitcase Full of Tricks. Both make me think that there are plenty of cool, realistic moms out there. There are pockets on the Internet where communities exist that support mothers instead of tearing them down. I’m sorry that you’ve encountered so many naysayers here.

  105. Cheese and ice cream – same here 🙂 Also soft pretzels and pickled jalapenos!

    It must be exciting to know things could happen at any moment – and if an IV for antibiotics is the worst (non-birth plan) thing you have to endure during birth, I think you should consider that a great success. I bet you’ll be so distracted you’ll forget all about it.

  106. I don’t blame you one bit and completely understand. I’m glad you will keep up with pictures, though! I have really enjoyed this blog.

    I have loved all of my pregnancies and documented them with weekly belly pictures and a 38 week belly cast. I have my 4 bellies on the wall right above me as I type this. 🙂

  107. I didn’t have a marriage that would have been good for a child and my ex-husband didn’t want children. Now that I am in a good relationship I’m in my late 40’s and the time has passed. I will always regret it, it is a great sadness to me. Its been more than fun reading BERF, seeing your excitement and feeling vicariously excited myself. What a sad world that has these people with too much time on their hands and the need to lash out of their own bitterness in it. I’m grateful to you for your sharing and respect your need to shelter yourself and your family. I look forward to seeing your beautiful child when he sneaks into KERF photos. Sending you happy thoughts of a joyous birth and a smiling handsome baby boy.

  108. I don’t blame you one bit! I assume and hope the baby will be an occasional fixture on KERF, but in the interest of time, privacy, and peace of mind for the three of you, I think you are making a good choice.

  109. Kath,

    You’ve been such an inspiration to me and I’m so grateful for everything you’ve shared here on BERF. I’m WAY behind you (not due until February), but I always go back and read your weekly post when I reach each weekly milestone of my own.

    Here’s to motherhood! Enjoy every minute of it and don’t think twice about this blog if your heart’s not in it. I wish you, Matt, and your little babe all the very best.

  110. Thank you, Kath, for all the time & effort you have put into this blog. I have been reading KERF for a few years now, and have been reading BERF from the beginning but have always been shy to comment. My husband and I have been TTC for the past year and have recently found out that he has zero sperm count.. we are still trying to process this news and figure out where to go from here. It has meant so much to me to read your journey from the beginning and I have been excited every single morning to read about your pregnancy and baby dreams coming true knowing that, God willing, I will hopefully someday, somehow experience all of these wonderful things. It has been a sort of therapy for me, if that makes sense 🙂

    I am sorry people have been so cruel. It is such a shame. I just wanted you to know I truly appreciate what you have been doing. Thank you! You are a great mommy already!

  111. Thanks for sharing such an intimate time with all your readers. It is very strange what happens to women when the issure of pregnancy/childbirth/child rearing are discussed. So looking forward to the birth post and seeing photos of your much loved baby boy. Best of luck. xx

  112. Interesting to hear about your reflections so far and i’m sorry to hear about truly mean comments. No one deserves that. But blogging is interactive by its nature and it’s now your chosen career – so i guess i’m asking why blog at all if you don’t like comments that are anything but totally positive? I mean why not take time out/take the blogging down a notch and when you’re ready get an RD job? Is that an option?

  113. I’ve been following your blog for a while, and I have really enjoyed all of your posts. And, I totally think that you look amazing – in fact, I had to do a double take on your latest pic (with your friend due 1 day before you) to see if they were old pics, as you both don’t look pregnant at all; you look great, and don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.

  114. Thank you for being so honest and open with us Kath. You are a great person and have a wonderful life. I don’t understand why people even read your blog if they don’t like it?! This blows my mind.

    Even though I am in no way ready to have babies, I’ve loved reading how your pregnancy has gone. You have wrote about topics that other people wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. Props to you! Just know that you have touched many people with this blog!

    Good luck to you and your family! Your blog continues to be a highlight for me and will be until you decide that it is no longer something that brings joy to you.

  115. ohhh, i was so looking forward to hearing how your first 6 weeks go! as i am currently 3-4 weeks behind you. ive loved your insights on the more natural approach to pregnancy and what not.

    either way, best of luck to you!! 🙂

  116. Am exhausted and so not reading the 158 prior comments, but wanted to reply. I found this lady talking about morning sickness. Are you familiar with her or the info?


    Also to your future with baby boy and how you were saying how fast pregnancy goes. I have an almost 6 week old and every day I say to myself, “He is never going to be this little again.” Already gained 3 pounds and grew 3 inches!

    Best wishes for the birth!

    1. Wonder if any of those would have worked for me. I think if my nausea had been more mild I could have controlled it with lifestyle a bit easier.

  117. That is so disappointing to hear. I’ve really enjoyed following your adventures on Berf, but totally get that you are cravng more privacy. It’s amazing to watch it all unfold. You are going to be an amazing mom!

  118. Thanks for sharing your story on the internet, I love your food blog and have loved following your pregnancy too since I recently gave birth. You will be a wonderful mother, good luck with the rest of your journey through pregnancy.

  119. Kath – I was saddened to hear you say that you’ve been getting negative comments, but I just want to chime in with others to say that, as with all of your posts on your main site, you have done a beautiful job of being honest about what works for you and being very clear that everyone should make the choices that are right for them. Good for you to follow your instincts on how to approach blogging once the baby comes, but (selfishly) I do hope you don’t shy away from pictures and posts about your life as a new mom!

  120. OK, whoever says you’re fat is a) blind, and b) an idiot! You’re not fat, you’re pregnant! And beautifully so!

    I found BERF at about 12/40, when I was looking for pictures of pregnant bellies on the internet because I was worried that I wasn’t showing yet. I’m now 22/40 and have been reading ever since. In a high-risk pregnancy like mine, where I’m being scanned etc every 2 weeks, this blog has made me feel a bit more normal, and I thank you for that. It’s also really interesting and helpful to find out what you’ve done and when, though I will say you seem to have a much better selection of maternity clothes there than we do in the UK!

    Yes, there are things you’ve talked about that I don’t want to do, like placenta encapsulation, but it’s al about choice at the end of the day. Just because we make different choices does not mean we have a right to criticise. We’re all different, we’re all the experts in our own lives and we do what is best for us. I’m sad that people can’t live and let live, and I’m sorry that people have been rude. Personally, I find it really interesting reading about other opinions!

    As I get further through pregnancy I notice more and more how critical people are of pregnancy and motherhood and the decisions you make. Everyone feels it’s their right to have an opinion and to voice it. In some respects, people have forgotten how to listen, and hear others. My own mother argued with me because I wanted to find out our baby’s sex, and refused to listen or congratulate me when I told her, and has been complaining behind my back about it. It’s ridiculous! I don’t understand why there is such pressure and judgement. Getting pregnant can be really hard (it was for us), pregnancy itself is hard, and motherhood is hard (I’m sure). Why can’t we just support each other instead of judging?

    I am sad that BERF will end, but I understand completely your reasons for it. And now I’m off to eat the best breakfast ever – banana oatmeal with blueberries! Yum! (Thank you for that one too!)

  121. Thanks for the honest post, Kath. Sad that you won’t be continuing this blog! I’ve really enjoyed following it. I haven’t been pregnant yet, but hopefully within the next few years – this blog has given me insight into what it might be like, although there’s NO WAY that I will be as organized as you are!

    It really sucks that people have made rude comments. It’s one thing to challenge your ideas, but another entirely to criticize you personally. Hopefully you can let those remarks go.

  122. You would have been an excellent mommy blogger! But I totally understand that you have chosen not to be one! I really enjoy reading mommy bloggers posts – I am not pregnant but have big plans for the next year and reading all those posts has been such an eye opener (sooo much that I didn’t know before) but in an overly positive way and I’ve learned a TON!

    But I also read some really harsh comments and aside from the question WHY people would do this (yes, raise your kid as a vegetarian, do or don’t do cloth diapering, let the baby cry it out if you choose to do so, don’t do baby-led weaning if you or the baby don’t like it, don’t feel bad not staying at home, don’t feel bad if you don’t want another baby, don’t feel bad if you miss life before baby…!), parenting is the most wonderful and private and personal choice! And I honestly loved to read about different opinions, views and experiences!

    Loved reading this blog, Kath and I will definetely revisit lots when I get pregnant!

  123. there are so many things about pregnancy I thought would be different too!

    also, I had my baby!!! my water broke on tues morning after getting a stretch and sweep on Monday! had him wed morn at 39 weeks exactly 🙂 what an amazing experience…vaginal birth with an epidural and i wouldn’t change a thing. contractions hurt a LOT! and the epidural doesn’t take away everything! and the part i thought would hurt the most, pushing and getting him out, was the easiest part!
    I had to tell you since I feel like we went through this together just from reading lol i follow you on instagram if you want to see pics or details i’m reghand, hard to type with one hand!

    I totally understand your decision to be a little more private with the posts when baby comes too.

  124. I really like this post. You will be thankful you have this blog to look back and remember your feelings/thoughts during your first pregnancy. I am sad BERF won’t continue but totally get why you are deciding to not document all things motherhood. You are right. . . parenthood is SUCH a touchy topic and sometimes it is just better to “do what works for YOUR family” and not subject yourself to tons of opinions and criticism. Excited to see pics of your little dude!

  125. As sad as this makes me…….I totally respect your decision and want to thank you for sharing all that you have with us. You are a bright light in my day!

  126. I have enjoyed BERF and, like many others, am sad that it won’t be a mommy blog. We are hoping to start a family in the next year and your posts and musing have made me less anxious. Also, I’m a fan of your nursery and I like how it is not totally tricked out with the most expensive baby gear. It is really refreshing to see that you used hand-me-downs and Craigslist items. (Not that there is anything wrong with going all out for the nursery! I just will probably not do that, so yours has given me an example.)

    Kath, I think you get the most criticism of any blog I read. Hopefully (for your sanity and peace of mind) you know that the negative reactions and criticisms you get are probably a reaction to your writing style and not you personally, especially if the “real-life” feedback you get from friends & family is drastically different than what you receive online. Most readers can’t have an accurate opinion about your personality because we don’t know you and are only going on how you present yourself on the blog. I have a matter-of-fact personality like you seem to have and people often just assume that I’m being rude or cold or judgmental when I’m just being straightforward and honest. To be good at my job and have good relationships with coworkers, I have to constantly work on self-awareness and consider how others will perceive the things I say. With your style of communicating (like mine), it is easy to read too much into some statements and/or assign emotions where they do not exist. Here’s a perfect example of the way a reader gets an impression that is different from reality: I’m really surprised that you said you haven’t missed alcohol that much! I got the opposite impression from your blogs with all of the comments about not being able to drink, and taking beer to the hospital, etc. Plus, if some one is just looking for something to judge or pick apart, it is never hard to find something, anywhere. Regardless (if you are still reading :)) — I completely understand and respect your decision to stop mommy-blogging, but I hope you never become a bland “trying not to offend” blogger who caters to everyone. Even though some may be turned off by your style and opinions, others (like me) can really relate and enjoy reading, even the controversial topics.

  127. Glad to hear you are taking care of yourself! Knowing that a “mommy blog” is not where you see your work self, not what will give you the most joy in the future is a good thing. Believe me, your time will be severely limited with a new baby, and being “present” as his mom, learning to do the baby-mommy dance, is more important than documenting every detail of parenthood. Still glad you will post pix from time to time. And here is a little satire for your last couple of weeks! “Jamie would like Jeff to do the pushing whenever possible” http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/jamie-and-jeffs-birth-plan

      1. Knew you’d like it, though I should have issued a warning to wear Depends while reading if menopausal or pregnant, and especially if both menopausal and pregnant.

  128. Hey Barbara! I’m honored, hmm I think I’ll try my hand at humor. I’ve already started calling myself a “minimalist” Grandma. “How many outfits will I need for the baby in the hospital bag?” – “Um, one?” Is it OK if I wait till after the birth day?

  129. Makes me sad that people write cruel comments especially when it’s their choice to read your blog. I appreciate your honesty and open-ness. I’m about 6 months behind you and I love reading what I have to look forward to (or not to in some cases 🙂 I do hope that you post about your experience with placental encapsulation. I am really interested in trying this but would love to hear your reviews prior to diving into this…!

  130. I am unmarried, with no plans to get pregnant in the immediate future, but have enjoyed reading many of the posts on this blog. I also support your right to moderate comments on your own blog. However, I do think that it could give readers a skewed view of how others are responding to your posts, when much of the negative commentary has been removed. One reader said that she thinks yours receives the most negativity out of any blog she reads, but I don’t really see that much in the comments section on any given post (at least, not enough to quality as ‘the most of any blog’, unless she reads, like, 2 blogs), which lends credence to the theory that your comments are heavily moderated. Typically, I consider a comments section to be an open forum for discussion. I don’t think there is ever a need for hateful comments (i.e. in the vein of ‘I hope you die’…I don’t, at all, by the way – it was purely an example of a potential comment that SHOULD be deleted), but ones that simply disagree, or perhaps even comment negatively on something that you have written, could spark meaningful conversations with other commentators, and/or yourself. Other readers have suggested closing comments entirely, but you said that you like some of the helpful, positive feedback. That ends up sounding a bit like “I love reading all of the praise and adoration, but do not want to deal with any criticism”. The fact that you even have readers (albeit some that may disagree with you from time to time) is the reason why your blog is profitable, and you should honor input from both kinds of readers (again, excluding those that are cursing / being downright hateful). Just my two cents.

    1. I never delete comments as you said “ones that simply disagree, or perhaps even comment negatively on something that you have written, could spark meaningful conversations with other commentators, and/or yourself.”

      If someone wants to disagree, that is totally fine. If you read through the comments, there is plenty of that. Lots of people have said they wouldn’t do X or recommend something other than Y. And there has been plenty of good discussion on here too!

      I delete comments that are an attack on ME. It’s being rude or disrespectful or attacking me personally rather than something that is being discussed where I draw the line.

      1. Again, I am not advocating anyone that is a personal attack; I’m just wondering what you consider a personal attack, vs. acceptable criticism. In any event, it’s a mute point – it’s your blog, do what you like!

      2. That`s interesting that you say that because when I commented a few weeks back about some people maybe not appreciating you taking pictures at the gym my comment was moderated. That was neither rude nor an attack on you. Disagreement about your blog is rarely seen and that leads me to agree with the previous commenter that it is very obvious that your comments are moderated. And while you claim that the moderation is to protect your family this is a blog that you are profitting from so you owe your readers some respect and allow them to express their feelings when there is something that they disagree with.

        1. Actually I never even saw your comment because you went right to spam for saying things like “stupidest video ever” and several other extremely rude and sarcastic comments that I just found by searching. Once a reader/email address/IP address crosses the line, I don’t even see any more comments from you. Just found this one in spam when searching for someone who got stuck in there!

    2. To clarify, since I believe my comments are being referenced here, I don’t have an opinion on whether or not the comments are heavily moderated on this blog. What I meant above is that is that I can remember more instances on this blog where readers got all “riled up” over things – sometimes very trivial things – than I can with other blogs. I’m not saying that I see nasty comments that later get deleted or that I see negative comments on every post or that I never see any negativity on other blogs (I read several blogs from a variety of genres.) I’m certain that there are blogs out there that are intentionally controversial and receive more negativity than Kath. It is just my observation, based on 3+ years of reading here and other blogs on a nearly daily basis, that KERF/BERF seem to generate more controversy/criticism than would be expected, given the nature of the content.

  131. I have really enjoyed reading babykerf. I am sorry that people have been so hurtful. I hope you change your mind re mommy blogging. I know that you have many readers that would love for you to continue. Only you know what is best for you and your family and I hope if you don’t reconsider that you do share at least some of your mommy journey on kerf.

  132. You are so incredibly wise. I am not much of a baby-blog reader (despite having a 2-year-old son), but I have loved your open and honest discussion of really important things. It NEEDS to be said and brought to people’s attention how medicalized birth has become.

    People get offended easily when you explain things like that. I had people saying I was telling them they are horrible for using formula when I posted about how much I enjoyed breastfeeding my son. Sigh. I think everyone hears what they want to hear. I think you are making the right choice even if it makes me sad. 😉

  133. Several people have mentioned that because you make money off the site you somehow “owe” it to them to post any unkind or stupid thing they have to say. As you said, this blog is free to read, so they are not “paying” you, and I don’t think you owe them anything! I also don’t think you are unduly sensitive to criticism or unfair in moderating the comments. I think you are completely right to make the next phase, after the baby is born, more private. People are very rude when they can hide behind an anonymous comment. I have really enjoyed reading both of your blogs, but since your time will be limited in the upcoming months, I think focusing mainly on KERF sounds like a good plan.

  134. Good for you! I think that there are those that just need to keep opinions to themselves and leave others alone! I have had 3 babies and I have to tell you that one of the most annoying things is getting unwanted advice! By the way, I am not a mom blogger and my kids are 11, 8 and 6 and I am STILL getting unwanted advice and opinions here and there. Just recently someone decided to weigh in on when they thought my 11 year old would start her period! SERIOUSLY!

  135. Maybe you should have a password protected “family/baby blog”. That way you can journal/document everything for you and close family only. Then you will have something that you can always look back on and your kids can too. I kept a simple family blog for several years and love looking back through it. I am just sad I don’t have time to keep it up now that I work full time. Being a mom is the hardest but most fulfilling thing ever, and for some reason, moms are so hard on each other. I wish that wasn’t the case. Now that my kids are older, there is not that much judgement.

    I really wish there were pregnancy blogs back when I was pregnant. My only resource was “what to expect when your expecting”.

  136. I took my son to a party last night and someone commented, “Oh look a baby’s here. He’s almost as cute as the dogs. Almost.” Moral: rude comments are everywhere and unavoidable. I wish people would think about other people’s feelings before saying (or typing) things. I’m sorry you had so many mean-spirited comments.

    On another note- great list of surprises! I too was shocked at how long it took myself to start showing when I became pregnant. One of my surprises was how difficult it was to get comfortable when sleeping!

  137. This blog has been a god-send to me. I am quite a ways behind you in my pregnancy, but I’m constantly checking your blog to see if you felt similar to how I’m feeling and checking out posts to see what I have yet to come. It’s so nice to be able to see what a real person experienced instead of reading a book or reading a more medical journal. I also loved you for saying that the first trimester was harder than you thought and that it gets better. I’m still in the first trimester experiencing morning sickness and fatigue and I feel like it’s never going to end, but I feel like it might when I read about your experience. Thank you for documenting so much and providing a real life source of your experiences for all us mommies to be!

    1. I don’t even like reading about your sickness it takes me back to those days! I have enjoyed pregnancy more and more with each day that passes and I hope you do too!

  138. Thanks for this blog, Kath — I hope you keep this blog at least available on the Internet for a while –it’s been a great and valuable read, and I selfishly would like it around when/if I get pregnant.:)

    Thank you!!

  139. Upset to hear that you have gotten so much mean feedback from this blog, and sad to know that you will not continue it after you give birth. I am young and nowhere near read to have a baby, but its been a lot of fun and pretty interesting following your story. Your post on placenta encapsulation opened my eyes to that someday (far far away) being a possiblilty for me, until then I just thought it was super yuck –of course the Google image search I later did on placentas kinda brought back my old feelings! You have addressed a lot of points very well, I never got a TMI feeling from you, nor a feeling that you were judging others who did not share your same opinion. As for commentors saying you look fat– they are crazy! You look wonderful. Best wishes for these last few weeks and your upcoming delivery!

  140. I would suggest for the birth story just tell the truth and avoid being sanctimonious, so much of parenting it out of our control and just be grateful. It get sentative for those that aren’t blessed with a trauma-free delivery.

  141. I’ve been following your BERF blog since I found out about it and I’m 12 weeks behind you. I’ve enjoyed looking back at your posts for the weeks that I hit to learn from your experiences. Since becoming pregnant, I can understand why you’d want to go low key once the baby is born – it’s amazing how many opinions you receive throughout pregnancy! I couldn’t imagine the comments that would come along with having the blog. It’s too bad that others have to take this approach, but please know that I’ve enjoyed being on the pregnancy ride with you!

  142. Great post! I’m sorry that you’ve had to moderate insensitive and thoughtless comments – I wish people would expend their energy in more constructive ways. But I am really, really looking forward to 1,000 pictures of Baby KERF 🙂

  143. I 100% respect and support your decision to refrain from mommy blogging.
    I have had my mommy Facebook posts criticized and misconstrued and over analyzed. Never again will I even mention the word “tired” for fear of hearing one more person say “Welcome to motherhood!”
    I also joined a babycenter.com group when I was pregnant with Peyton and stayed on into early mommy hood. I can’t even go on there site anymore because I am tired (hehe) of seeing moms being ripped up for sincere questions that seasoned BTDT (been there done that) moms and overly confident moms.
    I also inadvertently leave these sites feeling like a less than perfect mom for choosing my style of mommyhood and switching to formula and using disposable diapers.
    This is a decision you won’t regret but I do look forward to frequently infrequent photo updates of your little guy!
    Much love,
    The Montana Lauvers

  144. Oh no I’m so sad to hear you won’t continue to post about motherhood. I have absolutely LOVED reading your posts on pregnancy! I have been away for a few days and when I was logging in I was wondering if you gave birth yet. I can’t believe it’s any day now. You look fantastic btw. So sad that others rude comments really can ruin such a great, informative blog. I am very excited to read your birthing story – do not leave out any details! I’m still a year out from having a baby (hopefully) but I am so fascinated with baby and pregnancy and birth so this has been a treat. If you had another little one would you do another blog on what the second pregnancy is like? What’s same/different from the first?
    Thanks Kath!!!! Thank you for sharing your storey so openly and honestly and I’m sorry for all the criticisms you’ve received and the ones that were so awful we never even seen!

  145. Sorry to hear that BERF isn’t turning into a mommy blog. I am really enjoyed hearing your perspective on things, even though they differ from mine sometimes. But I completely understand why you would not want to continue. I have had to stop logging on to every online mom group I have ever joined (babycenter, etc.) because there is inevitably a few people who morally condemn others for making different parenting choices. There are just too many hot button issues and too many people that want to tell you that you are a horrible parent and horrible person for making a choice that is different from theirs. No one needs that negative energy, especially right after having a baby.

  146. I think people have way too much time on their hands… if they don’t like your blog, then why are they reading it let alone taking the time to comment? There are a million other blogs they can go read and find one they like. Thank you for sticking it out, Kath. I have numerous BERF posts bookmarked to reread one day when I need them. I am really not a fan of critical people and I don’t blame you one bit for wanting to surround yourself with positivity and love.

    Also, have you thought about picking your favorite posts/pictures and getting a photo book printed? It’s a special keepsake! Good luck!

  147. I found your blog by googling “real food and pregnancy” the day after getting that exciting positive test. I have been reading it throughout my pregnancy and just wanted to thank you for sharing all of this. I have trouble just sharing anything about being pregnant on Facebook with people I know! I completely understand your decision to keep motherhood more private.
    I just wanted to say that your blog has been one of my favourite things to read during the past 8 months and has been a great resource as well! Thank you!

    1. Awww thanks so much Barb! Overall I’ve really enjoyed it. .. even if it’s just for me to re read 20 years from now! I’m so glad you have gained some tips.

  148. I know you blogged here several years back but your posts have been so helpful to me! I’m currently almost 37 weeks pregnant with my first baby and our pregnancies seem SO similar, up to and including the shape & size of my bump, “not really feeling all that pregnant” at 37 weeks, and lots of the other things you mentioned. It’s been nice to know that my experience hasn’t been abnormal since you’ve chronicled many of the same things. A belated thank you for writing such honest thoughts about your experience!!

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