7 Weeks: A Scare With A Great Ending

March 3, 2012

Trip to New York

Week 7 started out with a fun visit to New York City!!

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Last week, when I was feeling so sick, I nearly canceled the trip. I couldn’t imagine a 6-hour train ride feeling nauseous nor did I want to be around a bunch of drunk college boys or greasy food.

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But thanks to my medicine cocktail, I felt great by our departure day. We had a wonderful time in the city. We decided to tell all of our close college friends because it would look pretty odd for me to not have a couple of pints of beer all weekend. It was very fun to tell them! We’re the second of our friends to be having a baby, so it’s still new and exciting. I saw a bit of tenderness come out of those boys :)

Matt and I had breakfast with our good friend Whitney, who is a few days from her due date! [Note she has since given birth to a beautiful little girl!] It was fun to talk about pregnancy with her and all the excitement shared between us.

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Could you tell my sweet tooth was running wild!? Bring me all the cupcakes in NYC!

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I didn’t stay out very late either night (Matt did!), but I managed to keep my energy up during the trip and felt pretty good. Everyone was checking out my stomach, but there’s really nothing to show yet. My eating habits were pretty normal throughout the weekend – normal meaning I had my old appetite back!

I’m sure this weekend marked the beginning of some old fashioned weight gain because other than some walking and yoga, I did little to counter balance all the great food we ate. Hopefully my body needed it anyways. It was so cold that running outside wasn’t an option and I didn’t feel that tracking down a gym in my condition was worth it. Thanks to Ashley for taking me to yoga though! We had to choose a studio that wasn’t hot yoga, and this was one of the best non-hot classes I’ve done in ages.

That wonderful bagel and cream cheese? Total pregnancy craving. I have been wanting another one ever since!

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crap! A Cramp

Back at home, on Tuesday morning, at 7 weeks, 4 days, I woke up in a strange position in bed. My abdomen tightened into a horrible cramp. I figured it was just the position I had been in and flopped over quickly – only to find it worsening.

I bolted to the bathroom, wondering if I was about to have some kind of sickness and (sorry if this is TMI) while I was on the toilet, I started to faint! I’m a fainter in panicked situations, but over the years my mom has taught my sister and me to lie down on the floor so as not to hit our heads if we do pass out. Luckily I didn’t, but my cramp was worse. This wasn’t waves of cramps – it was like a Charlie horse to my uterus. At least I think it was my uterus.

I laid on the floor, crying, sure I was having a miscarriage. Why else would I have such horrible cramps? The pain was awful and lasted about 10 minutes. At that point, I felt the need to throw up and did so a few times. Something about the tightening of my stomach when I threw up made the cramp lessen a bit.

At this point, I crawled back to my bedroom and retrieved my cell phone, still in a lot of pain. I called Matt and told him to come right away – I needed to go to the emergency room and there was a good chance I was losing the baby. He was baking bread and couldn’t leave and asked if I could wait until 10-11am. I don’t think he understood the severity of my pain.

“NO – this is an EMERGENCY!” I responded. “Can you call your mom for me?”

Karen called me right back and said she’d be on her way. I called my mom then to tell her what was happening. This whole time, I also kept checking to see if I was bleeding, but nothing was there.

Karen arrived a few minutes later to find me covered in sweat on the bathroom floor. By this time, my cramp was still there, but it was much less severe. We decided to call the doctor’s office and page a doctor rather than drive straight to the ER.

One of my practice’s doctors called me back within minutes. His first question asked if I was bleeding. I said no.

“You aren’t having a miscarriage then,” he said.

I wasn’t sure how he knew that, but a wave of relief flew over me. He also asked if my pain was on one side (no it was in the middle, under my bladder) and did I have any history of reproductive problems (no, thank goodness). He suggested I go in for an ultrasound. I was so glad his reaction wasn’t to just wait it out. He said I might have had an ovary follicle burst or that my uterus was stretching and cramping in response to baby growth.

After I hung up I thought, YAY AN ULTRASOUND! Then I remembered that it might not reveal good news.

I had to wait until 1:30pm to go to the office. I was able to shower and was pretty much pain-free by this point. Just sore down there. The technician was friendly and I noticed she typed “check viability” on her computer monitor when I arrived. That was scary.

The ultrasound was vaginal, but luckily I knew this might be the case, so Karen stayed in the waiting room. It didn’t hurt, but it was a lot of poking around in there! Within seconds I saw the baby – a nice white blob in an open cavity. Typical kidney bean!!

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Up close you could see that it was a little baby.

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But I knew it was a heartbeat we were after. She took a bunch of measurements, zoomed in and out.

I was holding my breath waiting to see a flicker of motion others had described.

I thought I saw a flash…

Seconds later, I saw the words “measuring fetal heartbeat” and a zigzag graph – I knew a heartbeat had been found! And then: 166 bpm:

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[Note that the gestational age here says 9 weeks, but since I ovulated late and they based that off the last period, it was inaccurate. The measurements had me at 7 weeks, 4 days, which was right on target]

My relief was huge! I smiled. I said “WOW.” A few times. I know many women say this, but I just couldn’t believe there was a baby inside of me. It was this moment that I started to think of myself as two people going through life together.

The doctor came in next and said everything looked great. I was measuring right at 7 weeks, 4 days, so my ovulation calculations had been correct! The baby looked fine, and he had no reason to believe I would miscarry based on the ultrasound’s findings. He did make sure to remind me that “you’re not out of the woods yet” for miscarrying, which of course I knew. His reasoning for my cramp was that the uterus is growing and sometimes likes to remind the body it’s a muscle by shrinking down a little. Humph!

One cool thing is that my father in law is a radiologist and I was able to email him the ultrasound photos to review. His report: everything looks great! He even commented on the amount of fluid present (good), and for some reason that extra tidbit was reassuring.

I’m still not sure what caused my horrible cramp, but a few speculations:

  1. My uterus stretched, then cramped. Regular growth!
  2. Round ligament pain, which is often caused by sharp movements from one position to the next, but isn’t usually had this early.
  3. Constipation. I didn’t feel constipated, but it could have been bowel related. Although nothing like that has ever happened to me before!
  4. The day before in Body Pump we did some lower ab work – could this have irritated my ligaments?

Ironically, the next day my Baby + Bump app said this:

“As your baby grows, your uterus is also expanding. By now your uterus is almost the size of a grapefruit which is why it’s common to feel abdominal cramping or even a tightening or contraction-like pain. Consult your healthcare provider if you notice bleeding following your contractions.”

WHAT!? I guess it is normal after all. Wish I had known this a few days earlier! So here is my PSA:

Warning! You might experience severe cramps during pregnancy!

Here’s the single photo I took at 7 weeks – I wasn’t feeling my hottest then! I don’t think horizontal stripes first thing in the morning was a great choice for wardrobe either… No bump yet!

7 weeks (3)

Previous weeks:

4 weeks

5 weeks

6 weeks

{ 86 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Monica March 3, 2012 at 10:09 am

I had round ligament pain around that time in my pregnancy as well and had no clue what was happening. We were biking home from breakfast and the pain hit me like a ton of bricks. Next thing I knew I was jumping off my bike and lying on the sidewalk in dirty Venice crying. It was so scary, but after a quick phone call with my Mom (a midwife) I felt a huge rush of relief. I just than had to pick myself up from the ground and walk home very slowly…..I can only imagine what folks passing by thought.

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2 KERF March 3, 2012 at 10:10 am

Oh man. I think I’m really lucky that this happened at home. If I’d been in public, I would have done the same thing and I’m sure an ambulance would have been called!

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3 Julie H. of Spinach and Sprinkles March 3, 2012 at 10:12 am

That must have been so scary. Every pregnancy is different but I do hear that that kind of cramping and pain is normal but golly is is concerning when it is your baby’s life that you are worrying about. I’m glad that you have such an understanding doctor that let you get things checked out to make sure it was A-okay! YAY for babyKERF! :)

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4 Diana @ frontyardfoodie March 3, 2012 at 10:29 am

Oh my goodness that is SO scary…so so so scary. Glad everything turned out okay in the end though. I never had anything like that! I never start feeling contractions til about 24-25 weeks along and then they do get pretty intense but not that scary.

Whew!

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5 Heather (Cake and Green Beans) March 3, 2012 at 10:33 am

Round ligament pain is no joke. That stuff huuuurts. When I was at 23 weeks I had a cramp that was so bad I immediately fell to my knees and couldn’t move for a few minutes, and even then I was crawling around for a little bit. Now that you are in your second trimester you’ll probably start to feel them even more, but at least now you will know not to get too worried (unless you are bleeding, of course). So glad everything is ok!! And I hear you big time about the bagel and cream cheese.

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6 Samantha March 3, 2012 at 10:36 am

Wow that sounds scary! Glad everything was ok! Those NYC cupcakes look delish! I hope next time Matt priorities you + baby over bread!!! Though I guess men can’t understand these types of panics as well as women can! Glad Karen is there to help! Loving all the pregnancy posts, Kath! You rock!

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7 Emily @ thedoodlebug March 3, 2012 at 10:40 am

Oh kath, I’m so sorry you went through that. BUT, so happy you had good news! And now that you’re 14 weeks (right?) you’re considered in the safe zone! I was SO glad when I hit that mark :)

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8 Danielle March 3, 2012 at 10:43 am

Oh my gosh, how scary this must have been! I am so happy everything turned out OK though. I’m loving your posts and your honesty…someday, when I’m pregnant I’ll be able to refer back to this blog and I’m sure it will help me a great deal :)

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9 Dasha March 3, 2012 at 10:49 am

How scary! I’m so happy everything turned out all right for you and the baby, but I’m sorry you had to go through all that.

I can’t believe Matt couldn’t tear himself away from his baking. While I understand how important work is, if my husband had asked me to wait until he finished up at work, we’d have had a SERIOUS discussion later on.

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10 Averie @ Love Veggies and Yoga March 3, 2012 at 11:44 am

Cramps happen. Could have been a minor contraction, your uterus stretching, trapped air/gas, who knows…I had plenty during pregnancy but mine early on were accompanied with massive bleeding and I did think I was losing my baby, many times. It’s sort of a miracle, okay it IS a miracle I didn’t and I thank my lucky stars every day I have my 5 year old to hug and hold and sing ABCs with right now :)

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11 Christine @ BookishlyB March 3, 2012 at 11:51 am

At first thought I made a snap judgement about how Matt was acting too- get your butt home! But, not knowing him, Kath, or the dynamics of their marriage made me take pause. Everyone copes with stressful situations differently- there are some of us that are there wanting to be involved, and some that are more nervous and can’t handle being present. While this will be definitely something he’ll have to learn to get over as a dad, I think people should be careful before judging him.

By the way, your NYC totally made me think you were pregnant- you went home early one night!

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12 Christine @ BookishlyB March 3, 2012 at 12:56 pm

The kid’s like barely the size of a lime or whatever. Cut him some slack, this is his first kid. And I think things are cleared up now in the comments. For some of us it’s “just” bread, but to him it’s his job, the income he needs to keep the bakery afloat. Bottom line is how it impacted Kath; obviously it wasn’t a deal breaker and she understood.

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13 Christine @ BookishlyB March 3, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Totally understand you on the last part- I think you’re handling your disagreement appropriately. In essence that’s what I think a good blog does- invites conversation and mature debate. But I think we have to remember we don’t really know these people (at least most of us don’t).

I think some men do have trouble connecting the idea of a fetus to a baby- I think a woman has a totally different perspective since it’s a little more personal. I won’t make any assumptions for what Matt thinks or feels, but I do get the situation.

Have a great weekend.

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14 Sarah @ Williamsburg Baby March 3, 2012 at 11:54 am

I get those from time to time, especially if I pick up something from the floor and get up quickly. It’s a really alien feeling…different from what you’d imagine “stretching” to feel like. It’s almost like your uterus is seizing up or in a strange spasm.

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15 Stephanie @ Legally Blinde March 3, 2012 at 12:21 pm

This must have been really terrifying; I’m so glad that you were able to get an ultrasound that day and that everything turned out okay. I’m impressed that you made it to NYC after you had been feeling so sick! And I love that first picture of the city – beautiful. I’m going to NYC in a couple of weeks and can’t wait to get a bagel!! :)

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16 Kim March 3, 2012 at 12:22 pm

My son was hovering as I read this post and said “No fair! Kath always gets cupcakes!”

Glad all is well with the bean.

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17 Mom March 3, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Cute. If I had a dozen cupcakes, I would send him a box right now. Sadly, not a cupcake it sight…

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18 KERF March 3, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Guys, can we please refrain from judgment here? Matt was at the oven with 100 loaves inside. He COULD NOT LEAVE. No one else was trained to bake. I understood which is why I asked him to call Karen. If I had been all alone in the world he would have figured something out. He’s going to be a wonderful father and has been very attentive and involved in our pregnancy thus far.

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19 Jennifer March 3, 2012 at 1:05 pm

I feel I need to say something here on Kath’s defense- I recently had a miscarriage when I was 5 weeks along. It started in the evening on a weekday so my husband was home with me during that time. However my husband also works where he cannot just drop everything and come to every doctor’s appointment with me. And honestly, I was OK going to the doctor by myself the next day even knowing what they were going to tell me. Some people do better hearing that kind of news themselves. I know if my husband had been there it would have made me even more upset in the office. I was happy to be able to come home and cry my eyes out in the privacy of my own home rather than in a busy doctor’s office/waiting room.

So just because Matt cannot physically be at every appointment doesn’t mean he won’t be a good father. I would never hold that against my husband, and I know if I do get pregnant again my husband will probably not be able to be at a lot of the appointments and I’m Ok with that. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me or doesn’t care. You gotta do what you gotta do to support your family, and being at work is a big part of that for a lot of families.

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20 Samantha March 3, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Kath, I think it’s just a matter of clarifying some things so that everyone understands the situation in full. Obviously Matt is a devoted and loyal husband/soon-to-be-father, so it seems its just a question of the way you phrased things that led readers to think otherwise (even though, again, that’s clearly not the case based on all of your many other KERF posts!) So perhaps could you address the statement that no one else is trained to bake bread? Haven’t you guys left the bakery alone with other employees (i.e. during latest San Diego trip and during Jamaica trip?). Also, did Matt simple just not understand what was going on? Because surely his embryo is more valuable than 100 loaves of bread? So again, I think just some clarification and elaboration on your part will help us all to understand a bit better! Thanks Kath!

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21 KERF March 3, 2012 at 3:22 pm

I did clarify, but I would hope that people wouldn’t make such harsh assumptions about my family before I even had a chance to explain.

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22 Amy March 3, 2012 at 6:59 pm

I think the issue is that your blog post is looked at as all the explanation that readers need. We assume that everything you wanted to convey is within those words that you post – there was no reading between any lines. If you feel that you needed further explanation, perhaps you should take a step back and read your posts over, maybe a day later, and see how it may come across to readers. That is the mark of good writing.

*I say this respectfully.

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23 KERF March 3, 2012 at 7:43 pm

I have proofread them and didn’t feel this needed further explaination. I said in the post he couldn’t leave (he was filling in for our only baker and baking is an art that has to be trained). I also said he didn’t understand at first until I told him it was serious and asked for him to call karen. Then he got it, but I told him not to come if Karen could. Everything was fine with me, and I had no problem with the series of events. I still don’t understand why this was such a big deal to be analyzed.

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24 F March 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Hi Kath,

I’m really sorry for the responses to this post today, perhaps the commentary did get out of control. In my opinion, I think it just came down to how you were viewing the situation and how it came across. Since you lived this scary time, you certainly have a different understanding about how things happened, but that difference did not come across in your writing. To your readers, the way you wrote the details of the day, made it seem as if something truly horrific was happening and yet your husband didn’t help. Now, clearly this isn’t what happened, as you’ve pointed out in the comments, and the fact that you’re comfortable with the way things happened is, of course, the only thing that matters. However, perhaps the disconnect between your readers’ understanding and yours is one of words. It was a little weird to read what you wrote about the day, but then once you clarified it in the comments section, it was clear that the situation was different from what you wrote. It’s all in the details :)
Again, I’m really sorry this happened to you, considering this is such a sweet place to come and read about your new and growing family. I do believe, though, that it’s human nature to “read between the lines” in discourse and when something doesn’t seem right, we comment. Things will certainly be looking up! :D

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25 KERF March 3, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Thanks F. I totally understand if people were confused, but all I ask is a polite request for clarification rather than jumping to conclusions.

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26 Jena March 3, 2012 at 9:52 pm

I think the fact that so many people had a similar reaction indicates that there was information missing from your post – it really does read as though potentially miscarrying was less important than baking bread. I think we all understand that when you own a business you have responsibilities, but at the same time you’ve left the bakery in capable hands while you were both away on more than one occasion – that makes it harder to understand why it was such an issue to leave when something far more important was happening that might have had him away for an hour or two.

I think when you’re so close to something it’s easy to forget how it “reads” to other people, or to assume that we all know the myriad little details that you know that help to explain a situation. Do you need to write out every little thing in every little post? ‘Course not! But once you see some consistency in the comments, it might be time to reply with an “oops – realize that sounds terrible! Of course Matt would have made arrangements to leave if it was absolutely vital, but I knew Karen could come and so insisted he stay to take care of things at work” *. Nip it in the bud, and don’t take it personally – as I said, when so many people have the same reaction, it’s time to look at what they all have in common. In this case, it’s the content you wrote – it was just a bit unclear.

(*and I realize you said that now, but had you posted it earlier it would probably have saved you a lot of grief!) :)

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27 KERF March 3, 2012 at 10:50 pm

I posted the clarification just a few comments in! Don’t know why it wasn’t enough. I totally understand the need for more clarification at times if something is worded wrong – I’m not always articulate or clear with my tone, and that does happen. I just ask for respect. Assuming that my husband would make a poor father or was insensitive without clarification, as a few people did, I found to be very disrespectful.

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28 Cortney March 4, 2012 at 12:17 am

I read pretty much every comment before commenting on blogs, but a lot of people don’t like to/don’t have time/miss replies, so it might be better, in the future, to edit the post. I see a lot of my favorite bloggers doing that when it is, as some others said, a common misconception that pops up a lot in the comments section. Usually it’s italicized and/or asterisked at the beginning/end of the post. It just helps to clarify it in the post itself, and it is *much* more time efficient than having to put out fires individually in the comment section. Sorry it got out of hand for you; I know I hate it when people make negative assumptions about me.

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29 KERF March 4, 2012 at 7:16 am

Good point about mini fires

30 Katrina March 3, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Thank you for clarifying this. As I said above, I’m glad he’s not the insensitive person you described him to be. We all want to see a happy healthy pregnancy! (Well, overall “happy”..I understand some parts are very far from happy) :)

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31 Su March 3, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Where did Kath described him as an insensitive person?

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32 Lauren @Lettuce Eat Cake March 5, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I don’t think Kath described him as insensitive at all! My husband also has a really busy job, and I can picture him being unable to leave at a moment’s notice from time to time. I’m sure he wanted to be with her, but he knew she was in great hands with his mother.

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33 Kimberly March 3, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Karen sounds like such a great MIL! You’re so lucky she was close by so you didn’t have to go alone! Glad to hear everything worked out okay.

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34 mandie March 3, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Kath, I had the same thing happen, but mine was on a off all day. I stayed in bed all day and puked a few times….not fun!!
p.s. Sorry everyone is judging you and Matt….

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35 natasha March 3, 2012 at 1:19 pm

You looks so pretty, especially in the photo where you are holding up the cupcake with purple frosting!

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36 Jessica @ The Process of Healing March 3, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I’m so sorry you had to go through that, I imagine that must have been so scary!

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37 Kate March 3, 2012 at 2:06 pm

It’s so good to have family close by for scary situations. It’s been wonderful to read about how you and Karen are always there for each other in times of need. You’re lucky to have such a caring and close relationship with your mother-in-law!

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38 Jody March 3, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Im glad everything was okay. It sounds like you & Matt need a plan for someone he can call to cover him in an emergency. I assume there are other people who bake when you guys are on vacation? It seems like a plan needs to be in place especially for when you are in labor!

I’m wondering how you were able to get a normal breakfast post on KERF that morning with all of this going on?!? I don’t know how you managed that!

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39 KERF March 3, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Once I was feeling better, I did manage to eat breakfast and things.

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40 Kim March 3, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Kath~ I’m so sorry that you have to deal with so many negative comments. I read a lot of blogs and it seems like people are so much more likely to make judgmental comments on your blogs. I’m not sure why that it is, but I admire your grace and willingness to continue to share your experiences. It’s a good reminder to me to withhold judgment in my real life.

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41 Emily L March 3, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Whoa, everybody. Kath’s sharing her story and we are all choosing to read and follow along, let’s cut her some slack! This is her story, her website, her family.

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42 Kate March 4, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Exactly! It is an honor to be privy to someone’s real life story. We are not being forced to read it! Kath, you are doing great. Thank you for sharing.

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43 Dasha March 3, 2012 at 3:14 pm

I agree with all of this.

Kath, let me start out by saying that while I don’t think I’ve commented much before today, I’m a big fan and I’m rooting for you to have a happy and healthy pregnancy that ends with a beautiful, healthy baby. :)

A little background: I’m someone who used to have a pretty successful blog. I took it down a few years ago because I had some privacy concerns but in the years I had my blog I learned a few important lessons that really helped me develop, both as a writer and a person.

The first big lesson I learned is that the only thing I could control with my blog is what I wrote. I couldn’t control how other people read and comprehended what I wrote. And if I wanted to have a comments section on my blog (which I did), I had to accept that not everyone was going to understand what I wrote the way I did. They weren’t there and didn’t experience what I experienced.

I also had to accept that not everyone was going to agree with me all the time. I wrote things that sometimes made people angry. I wrote things that sometimes offended people. I had to accept that if I put it out there on the Internet, with open comments, my readers were going to sometimes disagree with me and even call me out on things I said.

This was a difficult lesson for me, personally, to learn. I had to accept that I wasn’t perfect and right all the time. I had to accept that sometimes readers of mine were right and I was wrong (and sometimes it was definitely the other way around). I had to learn to politely stand my ground when I felt that I was absolutely right, learn to constructively dialogue with others when it wasn’t so clear, and learn to graciously apologize and learn from my errors when I was in the wrong or had offended someone. It was a very humbling experience but it’s one that made me a stronger and more mature, if still imperfect and learning, person.

I also had to learn that those who disagreed with me weren’t always “trolls” or “haters.” Sure, every blogger with more than a dozen readers is going to attract a troll from time to time but the vast majority of those that disagreed with me or left comments that weren’t 100% positive or supportive were real human beings who happened to have an issue with something I wrote or didn’t understand what I’d written in the way that I understood it in my head. If that makes sense.

If that was too much tl;dr for you, I’ll sum up by saying that I think you’re a great blogger and a good person but I think it would be helpful if you learned to accept constructive, not 100% positive comments, on your blog. If you learned to engage your readers in a positive manner and not be so quick to take offense when it’s not all sunshine and roses. It’s hard to learn all this. I’ll admit to not ever having gotten 100% there, but it’s a rewarding experience that will bring a lot of growth.

Best wishes to you, Matt and baby!

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44 KERF March 3, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Dasha,
Thank you for being polite. I have never removed comments that simply disagree with me in a respectful way. Go search KERF and you will find lots of them. I remove comments that assume things about my character (or my family’s or my actions) without first asking respectfully if they have all the information. I deal with criticism on a daily basis on KERF (although I’d hardly call most of it constructive) but as I’ve learned quickly here on the baby blog, this is too personal of a topic for me to allow the comments section to be open for discussion. I’ve chosen to moderate comments for the time being. I may lose a little bit of oomph, but it’s the right decision for my brain and my family.

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45 Jane March 3, 2012 at 3:19 pm

What a way to spend a Saturday… Reading and deleting dozens of comments calling your husband a jerk while home alone and preggo. I’m sorry for you, Kath. I think you should go out and splurge on a pedi or something. Turn this day around! Hang in there.

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46 Jane March 3, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Kath, I just wanted to comment that there is a super creepy ad for a dating service specifically for dating Asian women in your sidebar. Seems a really strange ad match for a baby blog. Do you have any control over the ads? Is this something you can work with your sponsor on? This just seems a little tasteless and not at all compatible with your KERF brand…

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47 Jane March 3, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Hope this reads helpful, which is how I mean for it to…

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48 KERF March 3, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Thanks Jane. I don’t choose the ads at all, but I will email my sponsor about this one.

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49 Kimberly March 3, 2012 at 5:46 pm

I used to check in on this site if I had some time on my lunch break at work, but I did once and the ads appeared to be sexual in nature. I quickly closed the site in case someone were to walk behind my desk and get the wrong idea so I don’t know what the ad was actually for. Your sites (both KERF and BERF) don’t seem to have such content so I thought you might be interested to know that.

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50 KERF March 3, 2012 at 5:59 pm

I’m very sorry Kimberly – I didn’t know there were any sexual ads. I emailed my sponsor about this this afternoon hoping for a quick change.

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51 Kimberly March 3, 2012 at 6:02 pm

No need for apologies! I wasn’t offended and I’m not even sure what the ad was for! It just looked like something that could raise an eyebrow if my boss saw it, so now I know to save my BERFing for home. I just thought you might want to know because you don’t usually have that sort of content on your blog. The ads now are for Ikea and chicken broth so they same pretty safe!

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52 KERF March 3, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Thanks for letting me know – I definitely don’t want anything inappropriate to be displayed!

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53 Michelle March 3, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Hi guys, not sure if this is the case here, but many times websites don’t select the actual banners viewable on their pages – meaning they’re not making actual deals with individual brands/advertisers. Advertisers can buy through an ad network and the ad network handles the distribution to appropriate sites based on their target consumer. Additionally, you can be served a piece of creative unrelated to a site based on the fact that you’ve visited a similar site in the past. Definitely not suggesting that you’re perusing inappropriate websites – everything doesn’t always work perfectly. But, next time you’re on the crate & barrel site (just as an example) and don’t make a purchase, see if you start noticing crate & barrel banners on other sites you’re visiting. It’s pretty interesting!

At least, as someone in the advertising industry, I think it’s pretty interesting!

And Kath, thanks for sharing everything so openly. I am a KERF reader and am excited for both you and Matt and really appreciate how honest you’ve been with all of your experiences throughout the first trimester!

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54 Lisa March 3, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Hi Kath.
I am so very glad to hear that everything was ok. Having been through miscarriage twice, the feelings of panic, fear and sadness when something doesnt seem right are indescribable (and ones that I would not wish on anyone). Take care xx

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55 Ashley March 3, 2012 at 4:20 pm

My husband-to-be would probably have reacted the same way as Matt. Execpt he would have told a stupid joke at the end of the phone call. Just because Matt had a committment at his job, doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about the pregnancy. I love my future husband to bits, but when he told woke me up at 3 am to take him to the ER for stomache pains, I laughed. I told him he was overreacting and just had to go to the bathroom. Turns out… he had an incarcerated hernia and needed emergency surgery. Oops! I can only hope no one judges me as harshly as some have judged Matt.

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56 Gretchen March 3, 2012 at 11:51 pm

My father in law was having a heart attack and asked my mother in law to call an ambulance and she asked what the number was! So it happens!

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57 Ashley March 3, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Another note…. I don’t even think Kath had to clafiy Matt not leaving the bakery. Both Kath and Matt appear to be very confident about their relationship. They also seem to be very independent. If this was a major life/death situation and Kath NEEDED Matt , Matt would have left. Obviously, Kath did think it was necessary.

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58 Tricia March 3, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I think people also forget that this didn’t happen today! This was weeks ago…

Anyway, on to my question, I have your app for KERF on my DROID and love that all your posts pop up on my phone. I have looked for one for Baby KERF but did not find one, will there be one coming?

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59 Sarah M March 3, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Kath,

I LOVE love love this blog with a passion :). Part of me is a bit jealous because on our first time TTC, my husband and I got pregnant and fast. But, a week after we found out, I miscarried at 5 weeks. It was very, very hard to handle initially and I started spotting a few hours before my “pregnancy confirmation” appointment then full on bleeding the second I got there and had to pee in a cup. I was curled up at home bawling my eyes out and called my hubby (who also can’t leave work at the drop of a hat) and then immediately called his mom, who has quickly become one of my best friends. She went with me, and cried with me and loved on me. And honestly, I love my husband, but having her there (especially someone who has experienced child birth,etc.) was amazing. I totally understand everything and would never ASSume Matt wasn’t a caring, loving husband and will be a fantastic father (because if you are like me, you wouldn’t have decided to marry him or better yet, start trying for a baby :)).

Anyway, long story short, thank you for what you are doing. I followed you here from KERF and am thoroughly enjoying following your experiences. I hope that in the next few months when our time comes to get pregnant again, I will be learning from your experiences and knowledge.

Hugs!

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60 KERF March 3, 2012 at 6:02 pm

So sorry to hear of your loss Sarah, but thanks for your comment :)

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61 laura March 3, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Hey kath! I’m a 21 year old college student (I emailed you before about opening my own cafe) and I just want to tell you that this is my new favorite blog. I can’t relate to it at all CURRENTLY but that’s what makes it exciting–not knowing if I eventually will be able to relate to it or not
Anyways, thank you for opening up on such personal topics. I admire your confidence and wish you the best of luck!

-Laura

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62 Nicole March 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Unexplained pain you’ve never had before is definitely scary! I had it a few weeks ago and had no idea what was wrong- couldn’t stand straight, sit, or lie down, plus it hurt to breathe. The pain was all all my right side. After managing to lie down for about and hour, I had…a release of pressure that made the pain go away. Lol, I can’t imagine having gone to the ER with what amounted to gas pain. At the time, I had no cue what was happening. I had it again this week in the middle of the night, so I called the doc to see if I could take GasX. TMI, I’m sure!

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63 Eileen March 3, 2012 at 10:47 pm

I’m sorry you had such a scare! I had a bad scare at 28 weeks with my first child. Turned out to be a UTI, which causes different effects in a pregnant woman than a non-pregnant woman. I remember my midwife calming me down by saying, “This is a test from *someone* to make sure you’re paying attention.” Anyway, everything turned out fine, and I’m glad it did for you, too.

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64 Brandy March 3, 2012 at 11:33 pm

Hey, Kath, I’ve just caught up on all your Berf posts. Some have honestly made me a little teary-eyed! I’m the same age as you but single and somewhat cynical about finding “the one” and have a hard time wrapping my mind around marriage and kids and all that, but couples like you and Matt make me hopeful. I know that’s super cheesy… thanks for sharing all this!

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65 KERF March 4, 2012 at 7:14 am

You will find the one someday!

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66 Katie @ Talk Less, Say More March 4, 2012 at 12:01 am

Vaginal ultrasounds really aren’t very fun. Unfortunately for me, they are pretty painful as I have had a lot of problems with that part of my body in the last 8 months (but I’m working on fixing that!) and it’s been a bit more than uncomfortable for me. :(
I’m so glad this was just a cramp though! Super scary!

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67 Gretchen March 4, 2012 at 12:06 am

I had the round ligament pain horribly with my second baby. I got very big, tummy wise, with both of my girls (they were over 9 pounds each!) so the second time around just hurt a little more. I had also had a c-section and appendectomy prior to as well. I could hardly roll over in bed and hubby had to help me up! Hopefully that won’t happen for you later on!

Glad everything turned out ok! There is nothing better than seeing that little fluttering bean on the screen and hearing the heartbeat! Good luck

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68 Elisabeth March 4, 2012 at 12:22 am

So glad this turned out OK, but I’m sure it was scary during it! I’m sure Matt is going to be a great father! It’s wonderful that you & Karen are close & she was there to help you & Matt out with this – I’m betting she’ll get a great resource during and after your pregancy (just like you were able to help her out with her health scare last year ;) )

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69 Elisabeth March 4, 2012 at 12:28 am

‘BE’ a great resource, not ‘GET’. Ha!

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70 Christena March 4, 2012 at 12:25 am

Apparently I missed a lot of the negative comments, but I do want to say that I did feel so bad for you when I read that paragraph about your phone call with Matt — not necessarily consciously judgmental of Matt, but just bad for you. My husband was once admitted to the hospital for a pretty serious condition and I could not leave right away. It was so terrible! Had to be scary for you and I’m sure Matt wanted to be there. Also, I know when I am home going through something alone it makes it even scarier. I’m so so glad everything was fine! Although I didn’t ever suspect you were pregnant before your announcement, during your trip to NYC I kept getting the feeling that you were somewhat “under the weather.” Or at least just not yourself. I marked it up to the negative comments you had received earlier in the week. Now I understand those posts better. :)

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71 CM March 4, 2012 at 12:42 am

Man, I couldn’t believe some of the earlier comments. I’ve always appreciated Kath’s honesty and, as someone who is considering having a kid of my own in the next couple years, I find her candidness on BERF especially refreshing. Let’s encourage more of it, not punish her for it!

I wish everyone would keep in mind that Kath or any blogger can’t possibly guess at how each reader is going to interpret her writing. Real life is complicated. If she included every detail, posts would be a million words long. And they’d still get misinterpreted. Sheesh.

Please keep up the good work, Kath. It’s inspiring!

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72 Jennifer March 4, 2012 at 8:03 am

Wow….how scary! I’m so glad that everything turned out just fine. :) Beautiful u/s pictures! :)

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73 Kortney March 4, 2012 at 8:44 am

Exactly what Peeta would have done in the same situation. Well done, Matt!

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74 Fid March 4, 2012 at 9:15 am

I think, as mentioned by various people, the issue comes down to a couple of things. One is that people will not always read all the comments, so you can’t presume that an explanation there will be seen by everyone. People will then assume that what is written shows the full facts. They won’t assume that they need to ask for more information before making a judgement. Secondly, babies and the like are very emotive subjects for people, so will tend to provoke strong reactions one way or the other.
The post could have done with a bit more explanation of that conversation between you and Matt, showing that it was misunderstanding of the situation rather than that he didn’t care.It is not nice of people to attack him/your relationship/potential fatherhood but some clarity inserted in the post rather than in the comments would have helped.
Glad that all is well anyway and hope it stays well. My sister is currently about 18 weeks with my first niece/nephew and I’d be devastated if anything happened.

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75 Cas March 4, 2012 at 9:24 am

Hi Kath!

I’ve been reading KERF since I saw you comment on a Daily Garnish pregnancy post a several months ago. So excited for the bun you are baking! Anyways, I’m about one trimester ahead of you and we’ll be visiting Charlottesville (I’m a UVA alum and we live in NoVa) for our babymoon in April. I’ll be 35 weeks by then!!! We’re staying at a B&B near the downtown mall. What restaurants would you recommend for lunch and dinner? (a little off topic but didn’t know if this was KERF or BERF appropriate comment)

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76 KERF March 4, 2012 at 9:37 am

Hey Cas! Are you staying at the South Street Inn? They have great granola :)

I have a bunch of recs on my Cville page for downtown restaurants (i usually note location in the description). Favs downtown are Eppies, Rev Soup, Positively 4th, Commonwealth, Zocalo and Bizou

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77 Cas March 4, 2012 at 12:39 pm

We’re staying at the Inn at Court Square. Thanks for the recomendations! CVille has become quite the food town since I graduated.

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78 KERF March 4, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Nice!

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79 Jennifer March 4, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Kath – so excited for you and Matt, and the rest of your family!
I really enjoy all of your honesty and candidness with your experiences, and I am glad that your scare turned out to be just a scare.
Please keep posting your experiences – they are very helpful for so many people, and truly a great joy to read!
All the best to you and Matt!

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80 Angel7 March 4, 2012 at 8:02 pm

So glad to hear that everything was okay, Kath! Thanks for sharing all your experiences, because you never know who you might be helping!

http://faithfulsolutions.blogspot.com/

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81 Natalie March 5, 2012 at 9:04 am

i went to the dr for a similar paint that was on my right side… it wasn’t as severe, but lasted a few days, and I finally couldn’t handle it. I heard the heart beat and instantly didn’t care if I felt that stabbing pain for a bit longer!

I wish someone would have told me you’d be crampy pretty much the whole pregnancy! I would get cramps all of the time and always just run to the bathroom to check myself. Finally I just had to learn to calm my mind about the cramping. But DEFINITELY something people tend to just scare you about!!!

Glad everything was okay, no judgement to Matt, I think he seems like a great guy and I never for a second judged him on seeing if you could wait.

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82 Lindsey April 24, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I just found out I was pregnant a couple days ago and I’m 5 weeks along. Last weekend I woke up in the middle of the night with this exact cramping. I was on the toilet and my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was going to faint. When I finally made it back to bed I was drenched in sweat and my heart was pounding. Luckily it subsided after laying there for awhile but it was terrifying. I searched the web for hours the next day and couldn’t find anything about this except for about miscarriage. Thank you so much for sharing your story, it definitely makes me feel better about what happened!

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83 KERF April 24, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Congrats on your pregnancy! Sounds like the same thing that happened to me… Symptoms and all. So weird.

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84 Sarabell October 4, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Yikes, that really scared me! I am ten weeks along and (knock on wood) haven’t had THAT big a scare, but I did have a really scary moment during week five!
(Sorry I’m so late to the party! I just came across your blog, don’t remember how, and decided to read up to where I’m at and then follow the weeks as I progress). =]

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85 Stacey December 15, 2012 at 9:32 pm

So weird, I had that exact thing happen to me at 6 weeks. Horrible cramping that woke me up, bathroom, about to pass out etc then ten minutes later just fine. Scary. No blood and I’m twelve weeks today.

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86 KERF December 15, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Weird! Glad your OK and good luck!

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