Motherhood: 3.5 months

-At night I absolutely love these two items from Motherhood Maternity. The wrap sleep bra – I have about a week’s worth. It’s so nice not to have to fumble with clips in the dark. Just push to the side and go. And these tanks are not really marketed for sleeping, but they are awesome!! Same deal – just push aside from the top and your torso stays warm. I have 3 shirts and 3 tanks (they often go buy-3-get-one-free) and wear one every night. If only they came in long sleeves!!!


-My eyelashes seem longer. I’m not sure how that is possible considering every hair on my head has fallen out in the last few months, but I swear when I put on mascara they are longer. Hormones? Coincidence? Optical illusion? Jealous of my baby’s super long lashes!?

-Mazen has started to love sitting up so much more more than lying down. Here he is in his GoPod, a great canvas seat that is great for portability and flexible for any toys you want to clip on. I’m hoping this will become the “mom’s cooking dinner” entertainment in time.


-Sleeping is just going ok. We go from 3 hours to 5 hour stretches, with 4 being most days. And then it’s all downhill for the rest of the night – usually not more than a 2.5 hour stretch. The GOOD news is that he’s usually pretty easy to get back to sleep. Luckily he’s not up crying or wide awake. The BAD news is just that some night’s it’s up and down, up and down. We’ve moved bedtime up to 8pm, so he’s now eating around midnight, 3-4 and 6-7 with usually one or two other wakeups that a pacifier solves in an instant. {I know, I know, that might be the problem, but we’re working on other things like solid naps first, and he doesn’t use a paci to fall asleep 100% of the time}.

-M has really started to use his hands. He reaches for toys and my favorite – my face! He’ll study it with his little fingers (it’s nicer if they are not coated in saliva!) He also seems to recognize my voice – he has turned his head when someone else is holding him if I start talking. I think I need to start using his name more so he can learn that. I call him everything from Cutie to Pumpkin at home {I know, I know!}.

-It breaks my heart that we have some clothes that he only got to wear once or twice due to the changing seasons and his size. He’s solid in 3-6 month clothes now and grew out of  his 0-3s right around 3.5 months. Some of them I loved so much I was sad to see them be put away.

-His next doctor’s appointment is coming – I’m guessing well over 16 pounds!!


57 thoughts on “Motherhood: 3.5 months”

  1. Sounds like he’s doing pretty well with sleep for being only 3.5 months old! Mine didn’t sleep for more than 2 hours at a time until she was 6 or 7 months old. At 13 months she’s still not sleeping through the night, but is only up once. Count your blessings!!!!

      1. 4 months is the hardest sleep time…Some moms refer to it as the 4 month wakeful period. it gets better, I promise!

        1. Yes! My sleep consultant (yes, they exist and are wonderful teachers) helped me to learn about the four month sleep regression. Really common. And I empathize. Usually before a big growth spurt or developmental shift. It WILL go back to normal (get better). We also did a “light” sleep training with Elliot at 16 weeks to help learn the difference between his hunger waking and his waking that wasn’t for eating (yet I was feeding him and creating a cycle). Let me know if you want more info (or my consultant’s info…maybe she would barter with you!). You look amazing and happy. And he is getting so chubby I LOVE it. Nice work, Momma.

          1. Incidentally, LOVE our Angel Dear breathable lovies. They really helped with bedtime and sleeping when he was ready (around 4 months we introduced). We use the elephant and at 16 months he still loves it (them, really as we have 4) just as much.

            1. We also went through a very similar sleep regression around 3.5 months. When I took Whit for his 4 month appointment, my ped recommended we move him out of our room. I was super hesitant more for my sake than his (his room is upstairs and down the hall and I just knew that pulling him into my bed and sliding him back to the bassinet after a feeding was easier than climbing the stairs for multiple nursing sessions in the night.) However, by the third night, he was doing a six followed by a four hour stretch! Now it’s been almost two weeks and we’ve gotten up to an 8.5 hour stretch!!!! He also recommended putting him to bed b/w 7-8pm.

              The thought is that at 4 months, they start to understand that cry=eat and when they know you are in the room, they won’t really even attempt to self soothe when they know you are right there. And you are much more likely to respond to the slightest stirring than if they aren’t in your room. On the first night, he cried about 10 minutes but that was it. Last night he started crying at 11:00 (after only 4 hours) and I went in after about 10 minutes, fed him and then he slept until 5:00. So, even though it wasn’t the typical long stretch early, it was still a good sleep and I feel like a new person! And there has been no crying on any of the other nights. Just something that’s working for us – Good luck!

                1. I should also mention that we have been much more intentional and routined with daytime naps in the crib if we are home (aiming for at least one good crib nap per day.) I have three other kids so its just a fact of life that some naps have to be in the car seat. But I do think the day sleep helps the night sleep.

          2. Anna- I wonder if you’ll see this?
            I would like the name of your sleep consultant. I have a 3.5 month old and we’re having major problems with nighttime sleep (my first was much easier at night). Thanks in advance!

  2. Some of the babies in my mom’s group have 6:30 pm to 7 pm bedtimes. For some reason their moms tend to get a 5-6 hour stretch. I just can’t imagine putting my girl to bed for the night that early.

    Are Mazen’s eyes two different colors? Or is it just a trick of the lights?

  3. So what am I missing about going to sleep with a paci being bad? I’ve gotten comments about Linden’s paci use, but mainly from older people. Isn’t it recommended by doctors to prevent SIDS and also in Happiest Baby on the Block? The paci has saved us!!

    1. It’s one of those things where if it’s not a problem, then it’s no big deal. You’re lucky if you have a sleeper! But some babies wake up crying if it falls out or if they don’t know how to go to sleep without a paci and so the parents have to put it back in for them in the middle of the night. I can’t tell if it’s our cause or solution, but M sure loves it and often goes right back to sleep when I put one in (unless he’s hungry)

      1. I got this reply right as Kev was going in to plug Linden’s paci back in…ha!

        So of course, being paranoid about another thing screwing up my child, I had to go and consult the Internet about this and…I’m screwing up my child 🙂 No really, I guess I’m not too worried about it. She usually spits it out and doesn’t need it for the rest of the night. Plus, does anyone’s two month old go to bed sans boob, bottle or paci, at least at some point in the process? If so, I’d like to know how!

        I don’t think you should worry about M…and Dr Sears doesn’t think you should either! 🙂

        1. I used to use the paci to help my son sleep a lot in the first several months. On his own he’s mostly weaned from the paci. He was off for a few months (he’s 13 months) but with teething he will occassionally need it at night. Never during the day.

          It’s hard not to worry about the smallest things but I promise you aren’t screwing up your kid simply by letting him use a paci. So many people want you to think that their way is the best but you know your child and what he needs. If you are a loving parent who is trying their best it will all work out.

          1. I was worried about the paci addiction… but now I give her that pacifier when she is crawling around bc I know if I can see the paci then she hasn’t stuck something else in her mouth!! Sure we have ‘baaby proofed’ as best as we can, but you never know what she will find (For example, she was playing with our dresser drawer handles the other day, I figured ‘no big deal’… then I something else go into her mouth! She somehow managed to pull a screw out of the dresser! Didn’t even know they were loose!) I will deal w/ breaking the paci addiction later!!

  4. Quick recommendation for budget conscious nursing moms – you can use a cheap, stretchy v neck shirt for overnight nursing (just pop them out when needed). Old navys vintage line is great since its inexpensive and almost form fitting to reduce excess fabric near baby’s head.

    Ps- I don’t think we had great sleep until 10 months and not through the night until maybe 11 months. We had the regression for almost 8 weeks of waking every hour. It was awful and I remember crying halfway through every night. Thankfully it ends!

  5. Honestly, in my opinion the paci is the answer! My daughter started sleeping through the night at ten weeks – she was exclusively breastfed also. I put her to bed at 11, and if she began to wake up at night I put the paci back in her mouth and she’d fall back asleep until 6 or so. I usually had to put the paci back about 3X. At 6 I would feed her and she’d sleep until 9 or so. I know all babies are different, but it worked for us!

    1. It definitely works for us – meaning it’s much better to put a paci in and have him fall back asleep than crying or being wide awake and missing out on his sleep. But I just wonder if it is more of a problem than a solution – I guess we’ll never know.

      1. We had the same problem for a while and I debated taking it away all together. But we waited it out and eventually she realized how to put it in her own mouth without help. When Hannah realized how to do that, it was a life saver. I think it was around 7 months or so. I started putting 6 or 7 in her crib at night so she can always find one.

  6. He’s so adorable!!! I LOVE his multiple chins 😀 I feel you on the sleep thing – my little one has been all over the place, regressing from sleeping 8-9 hours a stretch to, at its worst, getting up every single hour. She falls asleep with a pacifier, but when she wakes at night she cannot be soothed unless she nurses for a few minutes. This last week has been better – she sleeps 3-4 hours, then is up every 2 hours for the rest of the night. I’m probably going to end up doing some sleep training with her in a few weeks, once she clocks 6 months. I would really love to just cosleep and let her work it out on her own, but I have a full time desk job and am in grad school, I can’t keep going without sleep!

  7. Just remember its about survival of the parents as well as the child so you have to do what is best for YOU! With all the access we have to information these days, its really easy to get caught up in what we should and shouldn’t be doing for our child and if we are essentially screwing them up… But really as long as you love and support them that’s the most important thing! Everything else will eventually change. Don’t apologize for your choices as a mother, as long as it feels right (mothers have wise intuition) then it is. You have a happy and healthy son, celebrate that and let everything else be what it is. You might be surprised that at 6 or 7 months, Mazen might not even want the soother anymore… And then you’ll wonder why you even worried about it. Children have the ability to change everything the moment we think we have it figured out.

    Trust your intuition – you’re doing an outstanding job!

    1. I couldn’t agree more. There’s so much pressure (especially from ourselves) to “get it right” but it mostly all boils down to what works for you and your kiddo.

      And can I jus state the obvious? Sleep deprivation sucks! Hands down the hardest part of mothering as far as I’m concerned. 18 months old now, and we’re still not out of the woods. But things have definitely gotten better.

      Since our girl is a champion nonsleeper, we finally had to learn to just be okay with our survival tactics even if others thought they were messing her up or causing bad habits or whatnot. Hopefully Maze is good sleeper at heart and just going through a rough time, but if you find you’d like a little commiseration I found the sleep posts on Ask Moxie to have lots of great comments from very supportive folks who’d mostly slogged through with difficult sleepers and all survived intact–a little levity, small bits of “here’s what worked for us”, and lots of assurance that one way or another they all do eventually sleep. (No affiliation BTW)

      Best of luck finding as much sleep as possible for all of you by whatever means work!

        1. LOL, you’re right. But I’d absolutely rather buy the onside that said champion SLEEPER if only wearing the onesie could make it so! 🙂

  8. after reading this post and the comment I’m afraid that my girl will do a sleep regression thing too, she’s 3 months and has been sleeping 7-8 stretches, 1 feeding at night, and some random give-me-pacifier call around 5/6. I hope the sleep regression is Not too bad. I’ve read that by 4 months daytime sleep starts to affect night time sleep (before that, you can have him have no nap during the day and still sleep well at night), so if he doesn’t nap well, then he will sleep poorly at night because he’s Overtired. so your plan to consolidated the naps first is the way to,go.

    oh…. I second on the amount of saliva, it’s crazy how much saline my baby is splitting these days, is it sign that they are preparing for food? have you decided when to introduce food to M?

  9. oh.. about the pacifier. I’ve noticed that my baby started to fall sleep without it, before she already needed. I guess babies do naturally wean it at some point? currently, we don’t give her pacifier during naps and at night unless she asks for it, which is less often than before.

  10. this is why i LOVE co-sleeping! 🙂 my daughter sleeps on her own from about 730-12, then i nurse her in my bed laying down and we fall asleep until about 730am. it has saved my life, mainly because i have other children and dont want to be a tired and crabby mommy!
    ps..that little pod thing looks awesome!

  11. Do not worry about the pacifier addiction. According to my pediatrician and dentist as well as others they are not a physical problem and should be given up by age 4. At that point, you can reason with them. With that, yes I hate that my son uses one, but we only use it in the crib at nap and night time. And occasionally during the day time, especially when teething. Since he’s not really attached to any blanket or stuffed animal yet (he’s 22 months), I think this is is “comfie” thing. Also we found that the wubanub pacifier that is attached to a mini beany baby type stuffed animal was great, as he could hold on it or put back in his mouth, so we didn’t have to keep going in at night to find his. Just a thought.

  12. My son is 4.3 months old 🙂 He slept like a champ for the most part from birth until he turned 4 months old. Almost to the day! Then he started going to bed at 5pm, waking up to nurse at 10 then waking up every 1-2 hours after that until he was wide awake at 5am every morning. It. Was. Rough. But it got better. Now, about 2 weeks later he’ll go to sleep about 6:30 and wake up at 10:30 to nurse and get changed (he’s REALLY wet by then). Then he sleeps until about 3:30am to nurse and goes back to sleep until 5:30 when he starts fussing and shuffling. I’ve started to just let him wiggle it out or bring him to bed with me and cuddle and it’s seemed to work like a charm! We’ve finally been waking up at more like 6:30-7am which is much nicer! Some things that helped were letting him fuss for 10 minutes or so before going to “rescue” him to really decide if he needed changing or feeding or was just waking up from habit, letting him fall asleep with his giraffe stuffed animal (it’s a comfort for him and he tries to chew it’s face off as he falls asleep–then I take it away once he’s out so I don’t worry about him suffocating), changing after feeding at night. Before we’d change him cause he’d be dirty, then nurse until he fell asleep. Switching makes it so he goes longer between changings cause he’s oven already pottied before we change him and put him back to bed. Maybe some of those will work for you too! Good luck!

  13. We recently had some sleep regression but i think it was because we were transitioning out of the nap nanny. Thankfully we are back to normal. Ethan goes to bed at 7 or 7:30 and sleeps a 5 or 6 hour stretch, eats then does 3 hours and after that its up in the air. He will wake struggling with gas or wake at 5:30 ready for the day. Waking up before 6 feels like torture!

    How is Mazen doing falling asleep? We were having such a hard time and recently found Ethan loves the vaccuum. He falls asleep almost instantly when we turn it on. After he is asleep the sound machine helps keep him sleeping longer.

  14. I feel for you! 3-4 months was our hardest time with nighttime sleep. I knew that our son had been eating only once at night before he hit the rocky period and that he wasn’t waking from hunger. I know it’s controversial, but, right at 4 months, we did a bit of sleep training and decided that any waking before X hour, we’d let him fuss just a little–no feeding, no pacifier. It took two nights, with two bursts of fussing that lasted under ten minutes each night. He started sleeping from about 9-6 with no feelings after that. When he woke at night, he was able to soothe himself back to sleep. Now at 17 months, he sleeps from 630 to 630 and it’s amazing! It’s so hard to wait it out or to train, but I truly believe that independent sleep is one of the greatest gifts we can give our children.

    Hang in there! It will get better, no matter what path you take! Especially with those sweet cheeks to wake up to everyday!

  15. One other question, would you recommend that GoPod strictly for a trip? We are flying in February to see friends who have no kids and no real access to kid gear. I was thinking we’d only take our pack-n-play but we will be at the beach and this seems like quite a handy, portable play thing. Worth it?

    1. I think so! M likes being in it and the toy attachments are endless. Also smaller and easier to set up than pack n play

  16. Finding clothes to sleep in is soooo hard- especially with the cold winter months here! It is killing me to go out into the cold to nurse at night! ………Aren’t the slobbery hands to the face just the best thing ever 😉 (still glad he reaches for my face!)

  17. Other commenters mentioned this, but I think that sleeping in the same room as M can be detrimental to his sleep. Our home sounds a lot like yours the way its set up – nursery and master are very close. Maybe try a night in your own bed, the whole night. You respond faster and quicker when you’re right there, he knows you’re there, recipe for a sleepless night. We also started sleep training at four months as well to get my daughter to fall asleep on her own and she responded very well. Sounds like something has got to give over there! Best of luck to you.

  18. I’ve been trying to plan out my nursery furniture and I have a question for you. Are you or Matt still sleeping on the twin bed in the nursery while the baby sleeps, or have you moved back into the master bedroom and wait to hear Mazen cry?

    1. We are, and it has been a complete lifesaver. To help us both get some solid sleep and for playing/reading/putting on clothes and things. I know some people pooh-poohed the bed when I first talked about it, but it’s probably the single best nursery decision we made. I can tell you I never would have gotten as much use out of a glider. I much prefer to nurse lying down! I do love our little rocking chair and use it to rock him for naps or to calm him down.

      1. Thanks for sharing! I am planning on doing the same. We let our pets sleep in our bed with us (some people think this is gross…we obviously don’t), and as silly as it sounds, I think it would be really difficult to kick them out. I would not feel safe having a newborn sleep in a bassinet and risk the chance of our dog or cat jumping off the bed into the bassinet. A bed in the nursery solves that issue–that room has been off-limits for pets since we bought the house.

  19. I too had a hard time knowing that my son would not be able to wear some of his cutest outfits! A friend of mine told me that she would dress her daughter in every outfit, if only to take a picture of them in it! I think I might do that with my daughter this time around…at least with the “cutest” outfits!! 😉

  20. At 2.5 months my little girl was going 7 hours, then 4 hours. Then she got sick and ended up in the hospital for a week. Since then it’s been horrific-the 4 month sleep regression plus the hospital. She was waking every hour. We did two things:

    We let her cry it out after the doctor said it was fine. I’ve heard some babies don’t cry much. She cried A LOT. At first we did checks at set times but that just made her angrier so we did one check (diaper) and then left her. The first night she cried for 3 hours (spread over a bunch of wake ups). But I was so tired I fell asleep outside her room. The next night it was ten minutes each wake up and then she started only waking up three times a night. Which was good for a couple of weeks but not good enough. She was eating out of habit (She woke up exactly the same time each night)

    So instead of me feeding her, my husband gave her a bottle with 4 oz in and I just pumped. Then two nights later 3 oz, then two nights later 2 oz, then two nights later 1oz and now she doesn’t wake up at 10pm to eat. She goes from 7-1 or 2.

    I think being consistent with bed times, having a bed time routine, crying it out to learn to self sooth and slowly decreasing how much she was eating over time helped. It took about a week but it worked. Crying it out helped her learn to not wake up every hour. I didn’t want to do it, but I was desperate and it’s surprisingly much easier when your so tired you can’t remember your kids name. I didn’t want to let her cry it out if she was used to eating at certain times. If i wake up hungry I can’t get back to sleep that’s why we gave her less over time.

    Good luck! Every baby is very different.

  21. I would just like to wish you and Matt good luck. Going without sleep is quite possibly the hardest part about being a parent of an infant. My first son was an excellent sleeper at night, always was. My second, now 11 wks, is not. But I second the suggestion to not sleep in his room anymore. My son is the loudest, lightest sleeper. Neither of us were getting much sleep at night with him in the bassinet because I was responding too quickly. With him in his own room, both of us sleep more soundly. For example, he’ll fuss, wiggle, and coo for OVER an hour every two to three hours at night. With him in our room, I would respond, but with him in his own room I wait until he actually starts crying, not just crying out. And for the past couple of nights he’s actually put himself back to sleep several times! I work full time and just went back, so him sleeping through the night is essential. We also learned that he HATES being swaddled tightly, and he likes to suck on his thumb/fist. We lightly swaddle him when we put him down so his startle reflex doesn’t get him but he can still wiggle out. Now, he’s not as old as Mazen, so who knows what will happen at 4 months. So again, good luck!

  22. Baby bob is about a week older than Maze. He’s been sleeping from about 1030 pm until 7am. Then he nurses in bed and sleeps until 930. But he’s in a super loud and busy house with 5 siblings that keep him busy all day.

  23. You seem so defensive about how you parent. Please don’t be!
    Who cares how you get your baby to sleep? Half the world uses pacifiers and they’re awesome and- again- whose business is it anyway?
    He’s your son and you do what’s good for him and you. Don’t listen to books and advice so much that it makes you feel guilty for the way you raise your son and survive while doing so.

  24. I have a 7 month old but the 4 month age was a killer. We also use the paci and it was the cause of wake ups but by 5 month she could put it back in and it really comforts her. I don’t know how you feel about sleep training but we moved her into her own room and began training. It is hard but really worth it. We never let her scream her lungs out but 10 minutes of crying and she was out. It wasn’t perfect until 6 months but the sleep deprivation will kill you. Also, you should try and earlier bed time. It limits night time activity but really does help with the sleeping. My girl sleeps from 6:30-5:30. Yes that’s early but she sleeps through the night!!!

  25. Your son is adorable! I recently gave birth to my baby and a friend recommended Morph Nursing Bras to me. I tried it and it was wonderful! Nursing has become so easy and it is very comfy too.

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