It’s 10 days past ovulation, and I know it’s still early. I lie in bed for a while and tell myself not to get discouraged if the test is negative because most tests are not positive until 13-15 dpo. Finally I get up and unwrap one of my cheap internet strips. I pee in the cup, dip the stick and wait.
And then I went on to have a jar party for breakfast!!
If you aren’t familiar with the TTC forums, like the ones at Fertility Friend, you’d be surprised about what a huge online world it is. I didn’t participate too much, but I read a lot of forums to absorb as many real life experiences as possible. In the trying-to-conceive world, many women go to every extreme to try to see a faint line on a test 8 days past ovulation. This is too early for 99% of tests to be positive, but they test anyways. Since one women had gotten a positive that early (likely a miscalculated ovulation), it gives hope to the rest and crazy “POAS addicts” are born. I am not claiming to be exempt from this – I definitely got a little crazy at times examining tests in 10 different lights, and yes, even Photoshopping them to see if a line appeared under dark exposure and high contrast.
I had read about debates between first morning urine (FMU) and second morning urine (SMU) on the forums. The women there all had different times of day that they swore by. Some proclaimed that they always got darker lines in the evenings, others got the darkest lines the second time they went to the bathroom – after breakfast. Because some women swear by SMU, I took a second test that morning.
And I saw pink!! A second line. Well, not really a line – more like a smudge. But having stared at tons of tests that were stark white, I recognized something was different.
[I have to pause here and give a major shout-out to my pregnancy BFF Caitlin. Caitlin was my confidant, and we talked online daily to discuss my symptoms and thoughts on what was going on. Having someone to chat with was so helpful emotionally – in the good times and the confusing ones. Caitlin and I continue to chat daily about pregnancies, and I’m so thankful for our friendship!]
So of course my first reaction when I see a pink smudge is to take a photo and email it to Caitlin!
“Do you see it!?”
She said she could – just a little – but that I should go take an expensive test because these cheap strips are so hard to see and can sometimes produce evaporation lines and false smudges.
So I broke out one of my super expensive FRERs – First Response Early Result. These are the tests that the women in the TTC forums consider to be the golden standard. They are fast and provide clear results. With shaking hands, I took the test expecting more stark white.
BUT – THERE WAS A LINE! A REAL LINE!! Clearly visible!
This was the point in the day that my breath caught in my throat and I knew: I was pregnant.
And not only that – I was going to have a baby. After multiple squeals – both in my house and in Caitlin’s G-chat window – I couldn’t stop smiling.
Now don’t get me wrong – I knew there was a chance (at this point still days before my period was due – about a 50% chance) that the baby “wouldn’t stick,” as they say. But I had no choice but to hope for the best. Getting pregnant for the first time was still a huge leap forward: Matt and I could biologically conceive. While other things could still go wrong, the answer to the “are we able” question was now answered. There was a good chance that the tiny ball of cells inside of me would grow into my first baby, and the thought made me love it already.
Up next: The Two Week Wait