Sharing The News

One would think that my first action after a positive test would be to call Matt, and then my mom. But I wanted time to think and plan how I would share the news. So I went about my day with a secret.

Karen and I went out for a Christmas lunch and I kept the secret inside the whole time!


Actually the first person I told (after Caitlin) was my grandmother. Her birthday was the next day and I called her on my walk to the gym. I knew telling her would be a bit risky in the event that I was experiencing a chemical pregnancy, and as the phone was ringing, I still didn’t know if I would tell her or not. But the moment turned out to be too perfect when we were discussing her birthday and I asked her how she would like to be a great-grandmother for a birthday present. Of course she was THRILLED! I warned her that it was very early, and she said she would keep that in the back of her mind – and her lips sealed from my mom!

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Telling The Dad-To-Be

I really wasn’t sure how Matt would handle the news. On the one hand, he’s wanted to be a father his whole life and, to put it frankly, he consented 🙂

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But on the other hand, he claims he is just not that fond of babies and wishes we could skip babyhood and move into toddlerhood when they “become fun to watch and play with.” Unlike some of my friends’ spouses who were eager to have a baby, I didn’t think he would jump up and down with excitement. And that made me nervous.

I debated waiting until Christmas to tell him (5 days away), but I wanted to tell some of my friends and thought it was only right to tell him first. So I devised a plan.

Two cycles ago, Matt bought two bottles of an expensive Dogfish 120 IPA. At the time I was in an alcohol-free two week wait and so he decided to save it so we could drink it together.

Matt said:

“If you are not pregnant, we’ll drink it together that night. If you are pregnant, I’ll drink it to celebrate!”

We ended up drinking the first one when I got my period at the end of cycle 2.


So I knew he would know that if I got out the second Dogfish 120 that it would have that celebratory meaning. Caitlin actually came up with the idea to write “9 Month IPA” on the bottle, which I did, but as I suspected, Matt knew before even reading the label.


That night, we were putting the finishing touches on dinner. I was SO nervous!! I set up a candid camera on my tripod, hoping he wouldn’t notice because there are always cameras in the kitchen!


We put food on the table and just before we sat down, I reached into the fridge and as inconspicuously as I could, put the beer in his spot.

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He walked around the table and before he even sat down, noticed it.

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He looked at the beer, and then at me and said:


My answer was “Yes, read the label!”

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There were several “I can’t believe its” exchanged. I then pulled out the tests, told him about the day’s events.

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The Rest Of The Family

We wanted to continue creative tellings to our families. My mom and I are very close, and we talk on the phone daily. For the past 3 months, I had been sharing my symptoms and cycles with her so we could discuss them. At one point she even joked that she was having sympathetic pregnancy symptoms! But I had told her from day 1 that I wasn’t going to just call her up and say “I’m pregnant!” I wanted to do it in a memorable way.

So of course, the day I got the test, I lied: “Yeah, I just don’t think this is the month. I’m not feeling many symptoms anymore…..The tests are negative….my temperature is dropping….” It was HARD but I thought I did a pretty good job faking her out. And as much as I hated to lie, I knew it was for the best surprise!

The day I eventually did tell her, she actually said earlier on a phone call: “Well sweetsies, it’s probably just not the month. Unless you’re faking us out….” I thought she was on to me!! After we told her though, she said she wasn’t at all.

We had made plans to Skype with my parents on Christmas Eve so we could give them their Christmas present “in person.” Our gift this year was to treat our family to a vacation. I made a little invitation and put it in the mail. I told my mom it was coming and told her she was going to think it was pregnancy related but IT WAS NOT! (And when I told her this, I didn’t know I was pregnant, so it was the truth!) We could hardly wait to share the present with them – and give them our second gift of news too – so we somehow got them all on Skype a day early, December 23.

Right before:


They opened the envelope for the trip and were all excited. Matt and I had discussed what he would say, but the right opportunity had to arise. There was some discussion about which week we would all be able to go, giving Matt his opportunity to say:

“Well, we really need to go in May or June because we’re going to have a baby in August!”

The Skype signal was a bit spotty, but I remember my mom gasping as loud as I’ve ever heard someone gasp. Oh how I wish I had recorded it! Being somewhat the ringleader of the family, mom went into a series of “oh my goshes” and said she absolutely couldn’t believe it followed by the comment that this was the biggest surprise of her life. She hasn’t stopped talking about it since! Mission accomplished!

Dad, Larbs and Matt were all full of smiles – I think they were all in a bit of shock! Larbs reportedly said she would have burst into tears if she hadn’t been on her way to a fancy Christmas party.

We told Karen and Matt’s brother Andrew the same way over Skype on Christmas. This time, while discussing our upcoming trip to Jamaica and the liters of Grey Goose vodka that would be free, Matt’s opportunity came with:

“Well I guess I’ll be drinking for the both of us because Koops is pregnant!”

Two more huge gasps – Karen and Andrew had the exact same reaction! They looked like twins leaning back in their chairs like they were on the downfall of a roller coaster. At the time they were in Alabama visiting Matt’s extended family, so all the extended family was in the room soon enough and people were yelling the news around the house.

Unfortunately we didn’t get to creatively surprise Matt’s dad and his wife Cheryl because Andrew was too excited and broke the news to them before we got to! But they were thrilled as well, and both being medical professionals, gave fun perspectives to how I was feeling.

Sharing my pregnancy with everyone has been my favorite part so far. Having a baby is such a joyful occasion that everyone’s responses are so fun to see! Especially when I shared the news with you all : )

Up next: 4 Weeks: Baby’s First International Trip

92 thoughts on “Sharing The News”

  1. This was so much fun to read – I love all of the surprises! You’re so creative 🙂 I’m waiting for a class to start and trying not to tear up right now, haha. And your present to your family is also super nice; how thoughtful.

  2. wow, I waited 10 weeks to tell me husband that I was pregnant. I knew he’d tell everyone in the world if I told him, and I didn’t want anyone to know until I was close to the second trimester.

    1. i’m sorry, that’s just odd. my husband would be incredibly offended and hurt if I kept a secret like that from him for so long.

      1. well, I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up too early in case something might happen. I had a history before we decided to try at that time. Every situation is different.

        1. I guess I feel like your husband is supposed to be your support system and your biggest fan. I couldn’t imagine not telling him for 10 weeks!! Totally not judging you though. We lost our baby at 10 weeks and the same people who cried with excitement to hear the news were the same ones to cry with us when we lost it. Helps to have prayers and thoughts from friends and family when you go through a horrible time like that.

          1. It does help, and maybe I should have told him. But, I waited until 10 weeks, because the first one we lost at 7 weeks after we’d been so excited and told family/friends. It was hard on everyone. And, really hit my husband hard. I didn’t want to put them through it again.

  3. I like the way you told everyone. Cute and memorable, without being over the top. Did Matt mind that he wasn’t the first to know?

  4. Love these posts… Can’t get enough of them! Thank you for being so honest and open! 🙂

    1. I think I had said things like “I really think I might be pregnant this time” so he probably had a clue, but he was still surprised!

  5. I’m loving this new blog! I’ve been a lurker/follower of kerf for years now, and I want to thank you for sharing your story. It makes me excited for when my husband and I are ready to make our family bigger. 🙂

  6. I bought a card and onesie for my Husband and that’s how I had planned to tell him. I had taken the test late at night before bed, fully expecting a neg result, but it was positive. All of my plans flew out the window and instead I ran into the room where he was an just said “Oh my god, I’m pregnant”, haha.

    We told our parents in a fun creative way and filmed their reactions. It’s really fun to tell ppl!

    1. my story is similar…I took a test at work! I just couldn’t stand not knowing if i was or wasn’t…well I wasn’t about to call my husband at work and tell him, and then he had class that night. After work I bought a sleeper and made a little card. I had it all ready, and instead of giving it to him, I blurted it out as soon as he walked in the door.

  7. Awww, this is so sweet…telling friends and fam and your husband! that you’re expecting is pretty much the biggest news ever and the fact that you thought to video tape it…that’s awesome. What a gift to the baby, one day, to have the footage!

    1. My mom was shocked too, (we weren’t trying, so that probably added to it). I called my parents, and we told them over the phone, and my mom said “Holy Shit” and burst into tears. I think it was the first time I had heard my mom swear or cry in 10 years!

  8. I love Matt’s face in the now infamous “ARE YOU PREGNANT??” picture. I totally think that should get framed! You two seem like you have such a sweet and comfortable relationship with each other.

  9. awww how fun!! my husband is the same way with babies and has said the same exact thing… he tells me all the time how he wants me to just pop out a 2 year old so he doesn’t have to deal with the baby stage. haha. i think once they’re holding their own baby, their minds will change though. 😉

  10. That is so so fun. I think I would have a really hard time keeping it from my mom as well. She’s by far one of my best friends and I talk to her about everything! I think I would really plan out how I tell everyone as well. It’s so much fun!

  11. I’m not trying to get anything started. I just hope that you are thinking of Matt (and your baby) when write all this. I’m sure it could be unintentional, but Matt, in your words, comes across as a reluctant father. Is he okay with this characterization?

    1. Matt is going to write a post soon about his emotions. But like I said above, he consented 🙂 I wouldn’t say he’s not excited, more nervous excited.

      1. “Consent” isn’t really a very flattering word. Being nervous is one thing, and being apprehensive of a new experience is fully expected (I would be terrified). I fully appreciate your honesty, but you mentioned that you have written several of these ahead of time and have them ready to post. It might be worthwhile to reread them with fresh eyes and think about how your tone comes across in print.

        1. I agree very strongly with this respectfully-stated comment. In my mind, there is a big difference between “consent” and “wanting.” The latter implies excitement and full agreement. The former implies reluctance and possible convincing.

          Also, it doesn’t even look like Matt hugged you when you told him. 🙁

            1. You did and are doing great, Kath. Everyone is different and your story and your experience is yours….that you share it with us is generous. Thank you.

              1. I second what Kate says. Thank you Kath.
                Matt comes across as totally chill in Kath’s blogs and it seems like they have an excellent relationship. It’s perfectly normal for men (especially young men) to have different feelings than women when it comes to babies. That doesn’t mean he’s not into it in his own way.

          1. Wow, some people are really spew stupidity!

            My son was an infant in our arms when my husband reminded me that he didn’t like babies, yet he was the first one to hold him, feed him and changed just as many poopy (yes, poopy!) diapers that I did. My favorite time was afternoon nap when our son would sleep on my husbands chest, both just snoring away. He was an awesome daddy, but the relationship really bloomed when my son became more mobile. Once he could walk they were inseparable, little buds, going to the Sat market, bike riding (on a tandem), playing catch and now that my son is bigger they go on motorcycle rides to get ice cream! They are so cute!

            Now after seven years I may be mommy and kiss ouchies and give hugs but daddy is the ones who he paints pictures of at school with the caption “The best Dad ever”.

            Keep it up Kath, your baby will be sooo loved!!!

  12. If it makes Matt feel any better, babies are pretty fun too once they’re past the “burrito” stage. At about 4 months, maybe? When they’re starting to sit up and interact with you and love being thrown into the air and stuff… Now, the first three months, I almost want to say I wouldn’t mind skipping either. 😉

    1. Second all this! And I don’t think it’s horrible what Kath said. My husband was TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY BABY CRAZY before we had kids and he’s amazing with them, but sometimes I think those people who are super baby crazy before parenting (like we were) don’t have the most realistic expectations of parenting, and it’s actually harder for them in some ways because of it. 🙂 If people were realistic about what kids entail (the huge emotional ups and downs or parenting, greater stress on time/money), they would be rightly nervous. 🙂 It’s all worth it though!

      1. Its so normal for guys to be a bit ambivilent and nervous about a first newborn! Hubby went completely gaga for both our girls the moment they emerged though. He even says he enjoyes those 3am pacing the floor sessions….He still likes to wear our 9mth old in the Manduca as often as he can cos its a chance to snuggle her! Matt will be great. Also makes a difference when they feel the first kicks I reckon…

  13. Funnily enough, I was nervous telling my mother. Even though I’m 33, I think I still had this leftover sense of, eek, I got pregnant (as if this would be bad news.)

  14. Husband was the same way – not knowing what to do with a baby, but a toddler and older child yes. Matt will be carrying BERF around like a sack of flour soon (once neck muscle are developed that is).

  15. So Beautiful! My husband and I just couldn’t wait to tell our parents. and there is no way I could wait longer than 10 seconds to tell him… People would look at me funny and just blurt out ‘I’m pregnant!’ haha.

    Congrats again!!! I miss my craft beers….

  16. Hi Kath!
    I’m not pregnant, nor in any position to be/get pregnant. I know relationships + babies are probably pretty tricky (who wants a baby now rather than later). But, I’m not 100% certain what you mean by Matt “consented”. Perhaps it was poor wording, but “consented” me makes me feel like he reluctantly agreed and that you were the one spearheading the decision. Am I wrong to think this? Saying it this way is just making me feel like you’re justifying your actions, which is weird given it’s a baby. Maybe just a bit more clarification would help as I’m sure this isn’t what you mean!
    Thanks and congrats! 🙂

    1. I’m trying to make a joke here about the moments of passion. Perhaps my tone isn’t coming across right.

      We both knew what could happen and we both decided together we wanted to… do it. Matt was on board.

      We had also had non-passionate conversations and as I’ve mentioned before, we knew it could take years or one month. I think it was just a surprise that it happened so quickly.

      1. A surprise to him or a surprise to you both? I feel like it couldn’t be *that* surprising given all the prep you did to ensure success, haha!

        Very interesting for me to read as my husband and I are getting ready to “open the flood gates” 🙂 ourselves. I am going back and forth between taking a more “scientific” approach or just letting love flow. I am over 30, so I definitely know I can’t take forever and can relate to that pressure of wanting to ensure success. Do you think it was just your personality that led you to be so pragmatic about your approach right away? I’m asking sincerely as it’s something I am struggling with myself. I want to make sure I don’t take the fun out of the “fun”, if you know what I mean.

        1. I think I had just convinced myself it would take a while, so it was somewhat of a surprise to us both that it happened fast – in the grand picture, not the day I got the positive test.

          I tried going with the flow at first and found out a month in that I really wanted to just know more, so I would do the same – start just going with it and see if you would be more or less relaxed if you had more info.

  17. Since we did IVF and I was taking tests every morning, my husband knew as soon as I did. It’s hard to miss a “Woot” from the bathroom and a positive test on the counter. LOL But here we are in the 2nd trimester and I still haven’t told everyone. All of our family knows, but we still need to get word out to all of our long distance friends.

  18. I love how you told your husband! I’m not sure I’d have the patience to plan a reveal like that! I’m the type who needs to tell people things the moment they happen.

    I love the new blog and appreciate that it’s separate from KERF. Can’t wait to hear more about your journey!

  19. Fun story! Sharing the news IS the most fun part… I agree. We did not have a super fun pregnancy reveal as most family knew the day we would find out if we were pregnant (did IVF to get pregnant).

    So… we decided we had to get creative for the gender reveal! We told my parents, siblings and niece and nephews on 12-23-11, the same day as my 20 week ultrasound! We filled a gender neutral pinata with candy (pink/purple would = girl and blue/green would = boy) and let our niece and nephew go to town trying to bust the thing. They saw tons of pink/purple candy and pink beads flying out and they all started screaming and jumping up and down. It was fun and we got TONS of priceless pictures!

  20. We recorded telling our parents too. So fun! We let the doggy do the telling with a picture of her wearing a sign we made. My husband was very aware of the timing, so we waited together when I took the test. No special announcement there!

  21. I love love love this post! A huge congrats to you and Matt. I cannot wait to be sharing this type of news with my family. I love that you told your grandmother first, if mine was still around I’d have totally done the same.

    As a side note, the word ‘consent’ is exactly how I jokingly describe my husband’s willingness to participate in baby making. I thought it was funny!

  22. My husband was ready for babies three years before I was… I am so grateful he was patient and loving with waiting for me to be ready. Now it is so fun how excited he is… He is already thinking of #2 and I am only 19 weeks pregnant. 😀 It helps the scary body changes that he WANTS my belly to grow and show more baby.

    My point was: Its crazy how different people are! I cannot wait to read Matt’s post. I wish there were more things written about men’s perspectives of pregnancy in general, so tell him thanks for taking the time to write it.

  23. I have been reading your other blog for a year now and I am so excited for you guys! I look forward to all your baby KERF posts and wish you all the happiness and health in the next months! No matter how you word these posts, and whatever comments you get in response……just remember what is important and all the beauty you are your husband are bringing into this world!

  24. So excited for you & Matt! My husband & I are also expecting. I’m due July 28th, so I’m 18 weeks 3 days right now. 🙂 We also waited til Christmas to share the news w/ our families (but we had much longer to wait! We found out on Thanksgiving day.) And, we got it recorded. Watch it through, especially to the second part… my parents response is the best! It will be fun to watch you grow!


    1. Katy,

      Your story brought such a smile to my face. Our oldest daughter’s birthday is the end of July, and we found out the day before Thanksgiving. We waited until Christmas to tell our families. I remember my mom taking a picture of me with my arms around my brothers’ shoulders, and she commented that I ‘sure looked chesty.’ (Funny, because I’m not well endowed!) Just a few moments later she opened a gift- a picture frame that said “Our Grandchild.” Her reaction was priceless.


  25. I LOVE how you shared the news with Matt. So cute! I never had the patience or creativity to plan such a nice way to share the news. We have 4 children now, and each time I found out I was pregnant, I ran out of the bathroom screaming “WE’RE PREGNANT!!” lol!

  26. I’m hiding my tears from my hubby (he can’t believe how I get about blogs I read) . Love how you told your parents! I’m excited for you and for them! (I read your mom’s blog) Congrats again!

  27. Could you please send some of that enthusiasm for telling people my way?! I’m 10 weeks (and married with a job, house etc. … its not like this is bad news!) and telling people has been my LEAST favorite part of all this. I just find the whole thing to be REALLY personal and oddly embarrassing. I wish I could enjoy the telling process but I just cringe every time I have to say the words “I’m pregnant” (even though I’m VERY excited to BE pregnant).

    Also, could you please send some of that 120 Minute IPA my way? Now I’m craving it. 😉

  28. Love this sharing the news story. I can’t remember too many details about sharing the news of our first two children but the day I found out I was pregnant with twins (and already 16 weeks!) that was news to share! Twenty years ago, ultrasounds were not as routine so finally getting one was a big deal! It was so much fun to call everyone, I wrote down the reactions from all of them and they ranged from shock, I knew it, disbelief, fun, tears etc. Very exciting day! Congratulations again!

  29. I share Matt’s sentiments about skipping the “baby” part and having a toddler – so I can’t wait to hear more about how he feels when the baby comes 🙂

  30. Just an honest question because I’ve been seeing this a lot on blogs lately – but is there any guilt associated with telling blog friends about your pregnancy before your husband? I feel like a lot of pregnant bloggers run to gchat and share with their fellow bloggers. I feel that if you are telling someone via gchat that you are pregnant & they aren’t even someone you would call on the phone regularly, they probably aren’t special enough to know before your own husband who helped you create the baby. I get that the excitement is there, but I could not imagine telling a friend or anyone else (even a family member!) before telling my husband. I think he would be really annoyed and I would feel terrible.

    1. Every relationship and situation is different. If Matt had been home, I’m sure I would have told him right away. But I wanted to wait until he was home from work and focused rather than calling during a hectic bakery day. And if Caitlin hadn’t been on G-chat, I would have called her on the phone. I think women have been telling their best friends before anyone else forever.

  31. Congrats! My husband is a huge fan of IPAs and he has been trying to get his hands on a dogfish 120 for months. He just about died when I mentioned it was on a food/baby blog I follow. Too funny!

  32. Tell Matt I’m not thrilled with the baby part of having a kid, and I’m a woman! I heard that you don’t need to love everything about having a kid, since it all changes eventually.

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