We have always known we’ve wanted two kids (if nature allows us). Maaaaaaybe three but probably just two. Matt and I were each one of two and we were 4 and 3 years apart in age from our siblings.
When Mazen was born I always said we’d get to his second birthday and then start thinking about #2 so that they would be at least 2.75+ years apart. Even though I got pregnant pretty quickly last time (3 months, 2 if you don’t count the first short one), you never know how long it will take.
I want to be able to have full conversations with Mazen before I have a newborn in my arms:
“Mazen, can you please hand mommy that water?”
“Mazen, what do you think about this or that?”
Of course, I know having two kids is never easy but I think the more communication we get down, the better off we’ll be. I have several friends with 2 under 2, and they are truly super moms!
Despite all of this being pretty well though out, I still have worries that I’m falling behind. I tend to think of the moms with kids Mazen’s age as being the girls from my “class.” Like in school – your peers went through the same things you did at the same time. Well, many of the women in my senior class are already pregnant again – or have newborns! And those in “grades younger” than me too.
There are definite pros to having kids back to back, but I think I’m one who would do better mentally with them farther apart. I relate kid spacing to going to grad school right after college. I knew I couldn’t have gone straight to grad school or I wouldn’t have enjoyed the process. I needed a break to get a job and reset my buttons. When I did go back to school, I appreciated it so much more because of that time off.
For me, babies are similar – I want a long break. I will know it’s time when I get excited about doing it all over again. I’m already excited because there was so many wonderful parts to it, but I’m also hesitant to dive in just yet because I remember how hard it was.
I have my hands very full with my one toddler and feel that we’re in a really good groove right now. I need to trust my gut that waiting a few more years is what is best for our family.